Scouts’ Take: In which we discuss the prosperity of Jay Cutler, the fall of Matt Cassel, and Marble Ryan's ability to tell the future

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after blowing all our savings buying electronics on Black Friday, we had to fire them all. In their place are Black Irish, Marble Ryan, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 12 action.

Mr. T: Can we stop the Matt Cassel bandwagon now that he's played a good defense? Let's not kick Brady out of New England just yet. Cassel looked pretty average this week. Cutler meanwhile, who a bunch of you thought was worse off than Cassel going forward, looked pretty good yesterday against what was supposed to be a tough Jets defense. And Favre sucks, that interception down the left sideline was fucking atrocious.

Steve Stevens: Can we get a breakdown of who actually thought Cassel > Cutler?

Black Irish: I was in the tank for Cassel.

Mr. T: http://rexgrossmanisourquarterback.blogspot.com/2008/11/name-game_25.html

Marble Ryan: The Jets pass D couldn't be that good, considering the difference in Cassel performances between the last Jets game and yesterday's Steelers game.

Mr. T: The whole thing was a debacle yesterday. The second ranked Jets run defense made Peyton Hillis look like everything you hoped Mike Bell would ever be. And the Broncos used a series of screens and short pass plays to take away the Jets 3rd ranked pass rush. It was good game planning by Shana-tan, which makes you wonder how they lost to the Raiders.

Torry Hallelujah: Barring any flight delays, I should see everyone at 8:30 to deliver the eulogy for my 2008 fantasy football season.

Steve Stevens: Torry Hallelujah's second half nosedive is hard to watch...

Mr. T: It's actually pretty easy to watch for the rest of us. We could have a 4 team, 2 playoff spot situation coming up next week...

Marble Ryan: Meanwhile, take a look at what some former residents of Beijing are doing lately. Tom Jones and DeAngelo Williams are like the two best RBs in fantasy right now. Marble Ryan - the pre-eminent football mind of his generation. I will continue to defend the Tom Jones trade because it collected me wins that I wouldn't have gotten starting another QB. But, the DeAngelo for Kevin Smith trade is looking pretty atrocious.

Black Irish: Marble, you should really stay away from Lions running backs. All we heard the past two years was about your bullishness on Kevin Jones, and look how that turned out.

Mr. T: The #2 scoring RB in fantasy football is none other than Thomas Jones. Marble, what was that you were saying 3 weeks ago about you ripping me off in that trade? DeAngelo Williams is the #5 scoring RB. That trade was terrible. How in God's name are you the pre-eminent football mind of your generation if you’re trading away such players?

Marble Ryan: I'm the pre-eminent mind because I drafted those guys. I just had an emergency situation at the QB position that forced me to unload Jones, and I was too impatient to wait around for DeAngelo to pan out. Being impatient has cost me seasons before, but this time it just cost me a little margin of victory.

Mr. T: That's such nonsense because you were down on both guys when you traded them. Drafting them doesn't mean squat if you trade them away so easily. Your pre-eminence holds to all your decision making and that includes trading them away. It also includes what you thought about Kevin Smith, who I don't think will be scoring 4 TDs in a game anytime soon. Here’s a quote from September 9th.

Marble Ryan: I wasn’t going to trade Tom Jones for just anything. Its not like I
wanted to dump him at any cost, I just think he has limited upside – and still
do. He’ll be a solid RB2, but I need some more explosivity in my life.

Marble Ryan: Speaking of Tom Jones, anyone see that piece about his "physique" on NFL Countdown yesterday? That was hands down the gayest moment in ESPN history, easily beating anything that ever happened when they used to show figure skating. I thought Jones was going to start dancing in a thong, which would've gone straight into the Mr. T DVR spank bank.

Mr. T: Thomas Jones vs. SF in Week 14. Mr. T vs. Marble Ryan in Week 14. Just saying...

Mr. T: Btw, can we get a cheer for the Ken Dorsey era in Cleveland starting this weekend at Tennessee? Woo!

Steve Stevens: I don't even think Miami fans should make that "Woo!" His arm strength is embarrassing.

Marble Ryan: Maybe it's a positive for Braylon Edwards - Dorsey's feather-balls should be easier to catch.

Mr. T: I meant woo in terms of the better propositions. Marble’s lock of the week should be betting against Dorsey every week. Although Marble has correctly locked it up the last three weeks. Maybe Michael J. Cox should start getting scared...
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The Name Game

In honor of the segment of the same name on ESPN’s Fantasy Football Focus podcast, we’ve decided to take this Tuesday afternoon to have a little nominal fun of our own. The Name Game forces you to make a decision about which player you’d rather own from now until the end of the season. Standard scoring is assumed for all comparisons. Unfortunately we don’t have a fancy drop, so let’s go straight to our experts’ opinions.

Matt Cassel or Jay Cutler?

Marble Ryan: As good as Cassel has looked, I'd put my money on Cutler because of his talent. The supporting casts are a wash — I just think Cutler is the more capable athlete.

Black Irish: I’ll go with Cassel because it seems he's finally in sync with Moss. I buy what he's selling when he says he has been adjusting to game speed. He's been getting second team reps for years and now is finally seeing full first team reps and full game action. Compare this to guys like Matt Ryan and it makes sense he's hitting his stride now.

The Slow Eater: I know Cutler’s coming off a shitty game and Cassel just had a great one, but I still trust Cutler more. I also think opposing defenses are now going to be more prepared to not let Cassel beat them.

Steve Stevens: This is a tough one. I'm still not sold on Cassel, but Cutler is starting to look like monkey shit. Based on talent alone though, I'd stick with Cutler.

Torry Hallelujah: It’s Cassel and I don't think it's close.


Steve Slaton or DeAngelo Williams?

Black Irish: I’ll take Slaton. I like his big play ability.

The Slow Eater: I agree with Black Irish. I’m going with explosivity.

Steve Stevens: DeAngelo all the way on this one. Jonathan Stewart is hurt and it shows. How is DeAngelo Williams not explosive?

Marble Ryan: Anyone who says DeAngelo Williams is not explosive hasn't been watching football since October. This is the one that isn't even close — Williams is more talented, is on a better team, and has been playing better.

Torry Hallelujah: Williams has really impressed me this year. In each of his past four games, he's gone over 100 yards and scored at least once. I also wouldn't want to be counting on a rookie RB late in the season, even if he didn't exactly get a ton of early season carries.


Braylon Edwards or Laveranues Coles?

Marble Ryan: Edwards is the most disappointing player in fantasy this year, but
Coles has disappeared just as often. Again, I go with talent.

Black Irish: Uh, are you serious here? Braylon couldn't catch a beach ball if he wanted to. Plus he's got either Derek Anderson or a gimpy Brady Quinn throwing him the ball. It’s Coles hands down.

The Slow Eater: Even with all his drops, Braylon is getting a ton of targets per game. They're going to keep throwing him the ball because they know he's their best offensive weapon. You can't count on Coles to consistently put of points.

Steve Stevens: This is another tough one. Both are erratic but can put up major points any given week. Because Favre is playing great football, I'd go with Laveranues.

Torry Hallelujah: Please, gentlemen. The answer is Braylon — the guy just gets too many targets.
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Scouts’ Take: In which we discuss the exceedingly mediocre Donovan McNabb, the RGIOQB playoff race, and the NFL MVP candidates

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after blowing all our savings on a Toyota Corolla with 0% financing, we had to fire them all. In their place are Bruno, Marble Ryan, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, the Slow Eater, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 12 action.

Mr. T: So, do we think this is the end of the road for Donovan McNabb? At 5-6-1, the Eagles are still not completely out of the playoff run. Benching the dude at halftime really sends a message, especially when you're not getting blown out. Add the fact that Westbrook obviously is less than 75%, and it might be time to close the book on that Eagles offense. At least Cousin Bowser can turn to Shaun Hill, who, typical of a Mike Martz quarterback, has been effective for fantasy purposes since becoming the starter.

Marble Ryan: McNabb is done. Reid can't go back on his decision. McNabb on another team next year is a foregone conclusion, and they're not winning the Super Bowl, so they might as well get Kolb in there now and see what he can do. He looked pretty bad yesterday, too, though. A more interesting question is what kind of interest does McNabb get in the offseason? He's not very good, but I feel like someone is going to pay him way too much money.

Mr. T: Minnesota would sign him up right now. Some other teams would be on that line too. Kolb's basically a rookie, so you can't have any expectations for his play. Not everyone is as seasoned as Matt Ryan, with the ability to step in there and produce right away. If Kolb starts the rest of the season, we're talking about a major downgrade to DeSean Jackson and Kevin Curtis. Buckhalter sprained a knee ligament this week, so he's probably out for a little while. They might just shut down Westbrook too.

Steve Stevens: Lafayette Gold pulls out another win. The guy just knows how to win.

Marble Ryan: The Slow Eater’s karma play actually worked. Looks like the A-Team and KL Crew are neutralized, no matter who wins tonight.

Mr. T: The Slow Eater should strop worrying about Lafayette. Now that he's made the Brooklyn move official, his team's karma is about to go down the toilet. Watch Rodgers blow the game for him this week. By the way, if things hold this week, Lafayette beats the Slow Eater next week and Michael J. beats Marble Ryan, Lafayette jumps to 9-5 and takes over first place. I'm not sure I can live in a world where Basketball on Grass is a first place team...

The Slow Eater: I'm worried that finally getting an apartment might have killed my karma, although I think the change in my team's fortune's can be traced back to three weeks ago when I dropped Matt Cassel and he immediately turned into Kurt Warner.

Mr. T: Yeah that turned out to be pretty stupid, although I doubt you would've started Cassel over Rodgers or Cutler in any week. Cutler does look like crap from time to time. He needs to get his head in check because I see him complaining way too much. If the Raiders get under your skin, that's not a good sign for your mental stability.

Marble Ryan: Ever since Cutler made that comment about having a stronger arm than John Elway, his season has gone downhill and he hasn't done jack. Talk about bad karma.

Mr. T: Meanwhile, D-Mac looked rather explosive yesterday. He might finally be healthy. Fargas couldn't get moving down there near the goal line. We might be seeing more of D-Mac in these final few weeks. Shame he can't slot in at WR, or else it'd help the A-Team.

Marble Ryan: D-Mac could put up numbers like he did against Kentucky and it still wouldn't change the fact that the Z-Team will be watching the playoffs from the Carl Farbman chair.

Mr. T: Life's not over for Mr. T's A-Team just yet. A Steve Stevens win over Michael J. puts me one game out of the playoffs. Unfortunately Bowser couldn't take care of things on his end with Lafayette or we'd truly be alive. I ain't dead. And importantly for Mr. T's portfolio, I've got 2 playoff guarantees in other leagues and another knocking on the door, thus leaving the possibility of another net positive year on the table.

Mr. T: Eddie Royal had another explosive WR3 day. 14 yards on two catches is one hell of a day.

Marble Ryan: I think Nnamdi was covering him yesterday. Royal dropped a 45-yard diving grab that would've helped him out, but I blame the past two weeks on Cutler's shitty play. I think I'd be 1-3 without the trade versus 4-0 with it, so you can kiss my balls.

Mr. T: He wasn't guarded by Nnamdi. Nnamdi drew Marshall most of the game, but there were times when certain receivers were moved around the field, so Nnamdi switched off. At least that’s what the report said. Your trade only worked out because of the karma, which led to the injuries of Schaub and McGahee. Those aren't things that could've been predicted unless you had a DeLorean in your garage.

Mr. T: Someone get Steve and Bruno a few shots of Jameson after that Randy Moss 3 TD game this week...

Bruno: Fuck Karma! She is a dirty whore.

Cousin Bowser: Will someone please explain to me what I have going on for me that's so great as to warrant my team going 2-75 this season and playing 6 weekly winners?

Marble Ryan: You're just living the dream, Bowser.

Mr. T: Here’s a list of reasons why your fantasy karma is terrible:

1. You work for a company that has laid off thousands and you're still there
2. If that goes wrong you have a Jersey City job in your back pocket
3. You report to guys in Singapore and Hong Kong
4. You showed up to work at 12 last week after accidentally sleeping late and basically run your own schedule
5. You finally got to lay Spoons, twice, fulfilling a lifelong dream

Mr. T: After Manning's performance last night, I think the MVP race is really heating up. The Cardinals and the Colts now have the same record at 7-4. Where would the Colts be without Manning? 2-9? His numbers still aren't great, but now that he's healthy, it's all coming around. He's got 9 TDs and 1 INT in his last 4 games. With games against Cleveland, Cincy, Detroit, Jacksonville, and Tennessee remaining, he'll be able to put up good enough numbers to be competitive. The Colts will probably finish at 11-5 or 12-4. His team would be in really rough shape if he weren’t involved. That's why he's the most "valuable."

Torry Hallelujah: I’m starting to agree — I think a lot of guys could put up numbers in the Arizona offense. Anytime Sports Guy comes out and basically says, “There’s no question — Peyton Manning is the NFL MVP,” you have to give it some thought.

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The Name Game

In honor of the segment on ESPN’s Fantasy Football Focus podcast, we took this Tuesday afternoon to have a little fun of our own. The Name Game forces you to make a decision on which player you’d rather own from now until the rest of the season. Standard scoring is assumed for all comparisons. Unfortunately we don’t have a fancy drop, so let’s go straight to our experts’ opinions.

Tyler Thigpen (QB – KC) or Eli Manning (QB – NYG)

Marble Ryan: I’ll go with Thigpen. It’s crazy I know, but Eli still hasn't proven he can be a fantasy stud when it gets chilly. Thigpen has Oak, Den, and SD coming up on the schedule.

Black Irish: I agree with Thigpen for the same reasoning as Marble. Since their bye week, he's thrown 8 touchdowns and 1 interception. That’s not too shabby if you ask me.

The Slow Eater: Thigpen continues to be good and the Giants run the ball too damn well for Eli to put up big points in most weeks. Thigpen, however, is going to throw the ball 40 times a game, so he’s the one I’d choose.

Steve Stevens: I don't believe in Tyler Thigpen.


Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG) or Matt Forte (RB – CHI)

Marble Ryan: I’ll take Jacobs here. Take a look at his numbers from the last few games in 2007. Late in the season, Coughlin loves to inflict a little pain with the big guy. If you're in the finals hunt, check his #s from Week 16 last year...

Black Irish: It’s Jacobs hands down. Forte has seen the end zone just twice since Week 7, and only one of those was a rushing touchdown

The Slow Eater: As much as it pains me, I guess I have to go with Jacobs because of his TD totals. I do think it's closer than people think, though. Forte puts up solid point totals even in weeks which he doesn't score because of his receiving skills. Jacobs’ value, however, is solely based on whether he finds the end zone or not. But he's been finding the end zone enough lately, so that doesn't matter.

Steve Stevens: What about the issue of Brandon Jacobs possibly not playing this week? For missing one week alone, I've gotta go with Forte.


Hines Ward (WR – PIT) or Lee Evans (WR – BUF)

Marble Ryan: Hines Ward is the answer. The winds are picking up in Buffalo, and Trent Edwards looks like he wants to go back to Cali. Hines will play till he's 40.

Black Irish: It’s Ward simply because Lee can go from a solid game to being completely invisible. At least Ward will give you fairly consistent yardage.

The Slow Eater: I’d lean to Evans. This one is pretty much a tossup so I'd go with the more talented receiver. Before his past 2 games of over 100 yards, Ward had 2 straight games with yards totals in the 30s. Either one can disappear for a game, but I think Evans has more upside.

Steve Stevens: The Steelers are going to be fighting for the division, and the Bills are falling apart. The weather is shit in both cities, but at least the Steelers have shown they can successfully function in bad weather. Plus Trent Edwards is starting to look like Shaun King.
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Scout's Take: In which we discuss fantasy karma, the lowest scoring team in the RGIOQB league, and Tim Hightower's decline

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after Goldman Sachs cut our bonuses, we had to fire them all. In their place are Black Irish, Lafayette Gold, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 11 action.

Mr. T: Eddie Royal had 34 receiving yards. That's the kind of consistency I'm looking for. Randy Moss had 26 yards and a TD. Tony Romo had 150 yards, 1 TD, and 2 INTs. Sammy Morris looked really great in warm-ups. Larry Fitzgerald had 10 catches for 151 yards. He's terrible. Thankfully for Marble, McGahee is entrenched in the East Coast version of the Denver Running Back Situation.

Steve Stevens: Also note that Julius Jones had -1 points. Bruno completely ripped me off in this trade, and I'd like to file a grievance.

Mr. T: You should've listened to Mr. T. I told you Jamal Lewis was worth it in the trade. So far the two RBs who have taken the most heat in this league are Lewis and Thomas Jones. Who leads the AFC in rushing yards? Thomas Jones. Who had 17 points again this week? Thomas Jones. Jamal has had 14 points in 3 of his last 5 games and another one with 90 yards. Maybe if he sneaks out a win tonight for Michael J. Cox, the people will realize they were wrong.

Marble Ryan: Fitz tore up Seattle, so I’m not all that surprised. Royal is averaging 13 PPG since I acquired him, that slightly better than my previous WR3, Ike Bruce. How'd he do? Moss for some reason was taking plays off on Thursday, but he showed his ability on that last catch. I'm fine letting him play his game and put up points when he feels like. As for Romo, it's his first game back, and he looked a lot better in the second half. I'm not worried about him. Think of the trade in terms of the guys I sold. I didn't want Mcgahee, Schaub, and Fitz on my team. Maybe it was rash to not want Fitz anymore, but there was a reason I didn't want the other two, and I got some good players for them, so I'm satisfied.

Mr. T: I still say you completely lucked out with Schaub. That's the karma talking with his injury. You still acquired a bunch of chicken shit and Ray Farmer just walked through that door.

Marble Ryan: Maybe I got lucky, but he was due to come back to earth. I'll continue to say this for the rest of the year: I could've traded Manning instead, since Schaub was playing much better at the time, but I would never have agreed to swap the two in the trade because Schaub was the guy to sell for me the whole time.

Mr. T: I’d also like to point out that Lafayette’s team snuck out another win.

Lafayette Gold: Dude, I won by 23 and was up 30 all afternoon so that is hardly "sneaking out a win." I knew I was playing Black Irish, so I took some risky chances... This was Moss and Hassllebeck’s first game back and next week I hope to get Reggie back. Also Moore has been a big pickup and step up from dead ass Holmes.

Mr. T: You scored 87 points. You played the team in the league with the least talent. And Moss didn't miss any games. Depending on What Lee Evans does tonight; you only scored more points than 2 or 3 teams this week. Your team is fucking terrible. Someone back me up here! I know everyone feels the same way.

Black Irish: I hope this is a joke: " I knew I was playing Black Irish, so I took some risky chances..." Uh, I've got a grand total of 2 wins (and 2 ties, but let's not go down that road).

Mr. T: Yeah I'd love to hear what kind of risks you took. I'm sure that Rhodes vs. Faulk decision took hours

Michael J. Cox: Yeah I mean the #s don't lie. Lowest total points in the league... That's pretty hard to defend...

Marble Ryan: Black Irish, it wasn't a joke. It meant your team is so bad that he could afford to put in some high upside guys to try to make a dent in the total points category, because he knew he didn't have to worry about the W. I did the same thing against Lehman Brothers this week when I started Jerious Norwood, figured even if he got 3 I'd be able to win, and if he got 20 I could pass someone in scoring..

Lafayette Gold: EXACTLY Marble! I knew this was an easy win so I took some chances and played my big guys who were still banged up so I could make up some ground on the overall points since I am in last place and I am reminded of it on a weekly friggn' basis... Also Mr. T, Washington was a better option than Rhodes or Faulk, since Reggie was scratched on Friday...

Mr. T: Yeah but who are Lafayette’s high upside, high risk guys? And Marble, I still can't believe you left Norwood on the bench for Kevin Smith. You're basically going against everything you said when you made the trade for Smith in the first place.

Marble Ryan: Yeah it was stupid, but I thought Norwood was good for a 60-yard td run against Denver. Oh well. No more moves like that for me... I'll be playing to win the game.

Mr. T: Marble, It's the price you pay for wanting explosivity. And Lafayette please! If you really wanted to play risky, you would've started Leon. But you learned after the previous week that Leon is not someone you start in fantasy leagues because he's not guaranteed anything. Maybe you start him during bye weeks when half your team is injured. But you're not even living up to your risk statement because you didn't play him.

Lafayette Gold: My risks were starting a probable Moss and Hasselbeck (Collins was a safer, better pick), but I knew the AZ secondary sucked and they both easily could have been out. Also I had Reggie in until Friday so I would say starting three players who were questionable or probable is risky. I was going for some explosivity punk since the win was a formality.

Mr. T: Does anyone else see explosivity in those decisions? Starting probable players isn't exactly risky.

The Slow Eater: Was the win really "a formality" against Black Irish? I mean, I know he's only won two games, but he averages more points than you do. With the lowest point total in the league I'm not sure you can say a win against anybody is a formality.

Mr. T: Haha! ZING! You have less points per game than Black Irish. That's kind of bad. I will say that if you take Matt's weekly winner out of there, his PPG is probably a lot less.

The Slow Eater: I'm going to speak in defense of Basketball on Grass... It's true that Lafayette’s team has scored the fewest points in the league and yet somehow remains in the playoff picture. This might make it tempting to say that his team has "gotten lucky" or been "a fluke" or is maybe even "a disgrace to all that is good and pure in this wonderful fantasy sport of ours." But I say that it is unfair. Not only is it unfair, but it is also inaccurate, because it overlooks the one quality that this team has shown time and time again this season. This is that it "knows how to win." This is a group of blue-collar guys whose contributions might not show up in the box score, but they do in the win-loss record. It is, in a word, inspirational. That or they've just gotten really fucking lucky.

Mr. T: That's the longest comment I've ever seen about such a marginal team. You just want them in the playoffs so you can smoke them in Round 1. You'd rather see him than Torry any day.

Torry Hallelujah: I think tonight is going to be a turning point for the KL Crew — my battle of Saratoga. If I pull this out I’m 6-4-1 with a game next week against the Z Team; if I lose I’m 5-5-1 and probably out of the playoffs. Like everything else in life, it all comes down to the Human Anvil.

Mr. T: Anchors away!

Torry Hallelujah: The new RBS to watch is in Arizona — J.J. Arrington was looking frisky yesterday. Anyone who made any trades based on the idea that Hightower could now be counted on as an RB1/2 is going to be sorely disappointed.

Mr. T: Hightower definitely tried to push too many runs to the outside yesterday. For a guy who is supposed to be strong in short yardage, he should try running between the tackles. He doesn't have the speed to get to the outside all the time. Arrington did a lot of his best work running right up the gut. It's kind of odd that Hightower hasn't scored TDs the last two weeks given how successful he was before getting the start job. Maybe he's not conditioned for it.
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Scout's Take: In which we discuss the downward spiral of the KL Crew, the challenge of finding solid QB play, and Thomas Jones' deceptively productive

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after spending all of our money on Sarah Palin bobbleheads, we had to fire them all. In their place are Lafayette Gold, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 10 action.

Michael J. Cox: In light of recent events, I'm revising my Romo/Jess Simpson comparison for Torry and shifting it to Robert Redford/Kim Basinger from the Natural. I'm afraid Glen Close isn't walking through that door though…

Marble Ryan: This downfall has nothing to do with karma. Torry could easily have himself in much better position right now, but he played his hand horribly. This isn't real football, depth doesn't help you. Get off your duff and make a trade. Too late now, as everyone smells blood and doesn't want to face that RB team in the playoffs.

Mr. T: Yeah you can talk about depth all you want, but you're always better beefing up your starting lineup. Everyone was ragging on my QB situation two weeks ago. I don't see how Torry’s is any better right now. Big Ben is not at 100% and is finding his inner Tommy Maddux. Frerotte and Cassel are not the answer. And then you have Jake Delhomme. That performance that Delhomme put up yesterday was one for the ages. You take out a long Deangelo Williams TD run and we're talking about the Raiders having a chance to win the game on their final drive.

Michael J. Cox: Amen, I've been totally Panther free for almost 10 months now and I couldn't feel better about it.

Marble Ryan: I would go so far as to say the KL Crew has the worst QB situation in the lig, surpassing the Z-Team. Big Ben went back to 2006, and he's been the king of the Hail Mary interception this year. Delhomme is just a joke.

Torry Hallelujah: It's easy to say that I should've dealt one of my RBs for a QB, but let's not forget that 4-week stretch when half my team was injured. If I hadn't had depth during those weeks, I would've been starting guys like Pierre Thomas and Kolby Smith. Go back and listen to the podcasts: any time Marble and I talked about a trade, it ended with me saying that I didn't have enough healthy players on my roster to deal away any RBs, and with Marble acknowledging that this was the case, as well.

Mr. T: The schedule doesn't get easy for Torry either. He's going to have to earn his playoff spot with games against Michael, myself, and the Slow Eater in week 14. Other than the game against Black Irish, there are no cupcakes there.

Torry Hallelujah: Also, the QB situation in the NFL is so up-and-down that I didn't want to risk making a trade for a guy who sucked/was injury prone. I could've traded for JTO or Matt Schaub, but where would that have gotten me? And a guy like Garrard isn't a big enough upgrade over the guys I have to risk losing an RB. Even guys like Rodgers and Cutler have had terrible games this year. You can blame me for not trying to trade for a Joe Flacco or Matt Ryan, just as long as you blame yourself, too — nobody could've predicted how good those guys were going to be on a consistent basis this year.

Mr. T: You sound like Marble crowning Flacco and Ryan. How about Romo when he was available. He would've been perfect for your 5-2-1 team that had some wiggle room. Or maybe you talk Bowser into a McNabb trade because you can offer him quality pieces. Manning was also on the market for a couple weeks. You missed your chance. Your window is closed. And this year it won't be because Kolby Smith took you to the woodshed.

Michael J. Cox: Yeah, I mean I stuck it out through some absolutely BRUTAL Flacco performances before he took his John Elway pill and started looking like the second coming. I'm still not totally convinced. I still find it hilarious that I a) started the season rolling with Tom Brady & DA thinking I was in great shape at QB, then b) found myself with Joe Flacco and Warner thinking I was in terrible shape, and now c) I still have Joe Flacco & Warner and am back to thinking I'm in great shape. Fantasy football is hilarious.

Michael J. Cox: I'll also add that watching Arizona games for me now makes me realize what it's like for a mom to watch their son play high school football. Every time Warner drops back I'm excited that he could do something great, but also absolutely terrified that he might be killed and completely destroy both of my fantasy teams. Entertaining stuff....

Marble Ryan: The Crew was actually in disarray last year at this time as well, until I saved his season with that preposterous trade. On a side not, an interesting development in week 10 fantasy world...the annual appearance of Ryan Moats, this time on the Texans. Not sure if Slaton is really hurt, but if he is, get ready for moats to make his yearly appearance in someone's starting lineup. Moats has turned the tides of more than one fantasy season in his life.

Mr. T: He wasn't hurt. They were getting their butts kicked and Slaton was ineffective. It was mop up work.

Torry Hallelujah: That’s fine, I’m happy to give up my role as a frontrunner in favor of becoming the proverbial Team That No One Wants to Play. Give me that 4th seed and I’ll put The Chefs on the floor. Put it on the board!

Michael J. Cox: There's an absolute red alert betting play this evening's for those of you interested in such things. 7 point teaser with Cards -2.5 & Over 39. Book that one...

Mr. T: I still can't believe Rex didn't throw that second interception this weekend. And that would've been your red alert betting prop of the weekend out of all your suggestions. The Titans, Giants, and Giants/Eagles overs were nice plays too.

Michael J. Cox: I was high on the Rex prop, but am way higher on this. This would have gone in giant block letters in my write-up, but this is actually the first time that I'm seeing the line. It was on the 2nd page of the odds site that I was looking at and I totally missed it until today. Shocker with Rex though. I would have given you 3/1 yesterday after Rex threw the pick in the 1st quarter that he'd have a 2nd one.

Lafayette Gold: I’m smoke and mirrors, right? Bball on Grass almost pulled out another W with Moss and Bryant on bye and Bush and Hassel still out with injuries. Once I get Reggie and Hassel back this "operation" will be smooth sailing...

Mr. T: The fact that you named all that talent not playing proves it was a smoke and mirrors operation. I've told you for weeks that Toomer isn't a viable starting option. Kevin Faulk showed this week why he's not either. Gonzalez is the 3rd receiver on his own team and he went against the league's best pass defense. Lance Moore got lucky with a Hail Mary 40 yard TD or his stat line would've sucked. That's what we call smoke and mirrors.

Lafayette Gold: If Toooma doesn’t get tackled inside the one it’s a 12 pt night which is solid for my last WR.

Mr. T: Yeah well based on your luck of a run first Tennessee offense getting Collins two passing TDs, you can't worry about a Toomer if. You just don't have the talent that other teams in this league have. Look at how many teams will drop 120+ this week. There's a reason you're last in the league in points. You're putting up as much offense as your man Tiller does week in and week out.

Lafayette Gold: Look at the remaining schedule dude. I like the chances of my smoke and mirror operation making the playoffs which is more than I can say for the overrated and overhyped A-Team. Much like Joe Tiller B-Ball on Grass takes the foot off the gas once we have the game in hand.

Mr. T: I've scored 141 more points than you this year. That's 14.1 points a week! You're team sucks. You got lucky a few times and that's how you're 6-4. Hopefully the laws of statistics will correct your record by season's end so you and Black Irish can complain about your college and fantasy teams over a White Russian.

Marble Ryan: Mr. T and Lafayette, I'll settle your little tiff right now: both of your teams are garbaaj. I've beaten Lafayette twice scoring below my season average both times, and I beat Mr. T with one starting QB because I was on the subway from Brooklyn when Schaub decided he was too hung-over to play. Stop arguing and start preparing for 2009...you two are like the CEOs of GM and Ford arguing over who's going to zero first.

Mr. T: When Thomas Jones takes a dump on your forehead in our Week 14 matchup, eliminating you from the playoffs, we'll see who is talking. FYI, he's got the Niners in Week 14. Can you taste it?

Lafayette Gold: Your team is all over the map. Your average score is deceptive cuz one week you put up 137 and the next you put up 77. When you lose your team shits the bed big time.... I have had two very bad weeks keeping my total points down. I knew week 4 was a bad loss heading into the season with the bye situation. Face it, your team is inconsistent which is why you are stuck in mediocrity much like Black Irish’s Golden Domers.

Mr. T: Chad Pennington has more points than everyone on your team other than Eli Manning. QUIT YOUR YAPPIN!

Marble Ryan: I actually like Mr. T’s team for that 4th playoff spot and the team no one wants to play. That running back trio of Barber, Portis, and Jones is actually better than a combination of the three who Torry can roll out. Torry does have Marshall, but Tony G over Jan Carlson neutralizes that advantage. After that the rest is a crap pile on both sides.

Mr. T: Do all of you respect Thomas Jones by now? 25, 15, 11, 15, and 32 are his point totals in the last 5 weeks. He's already at my predicted 8 TDs. And he's on pace for 1,333 rushing yards (33 more than my prediction). Long live Julius' older brother...

Torry Hallelujah: I’ve respected TJ all year — he’s much faster than anyone gives him credit for. It’s weird how some elite backs LT, Shaun Alexander completely lose their burst as they get older but other, mediocre RBs are able to hold onto their skill/speed longer into their careers.

Steve Stevens: Yeah, another Jets RB in Curtis Martin would be a good example of that.

Mr. T: It's a good thing someone on our website can have credibility after Marble Ryan's love for LJ and hate for Adrian Peterson. And we might as well add Torry's love for Jeremy Shockey.
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Scout’s Take: In which we discuss a bye week meltdown, Marble Ryan's explosivity, and Brandon Jacob's fragile body

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after spending all of our money on IPhone applications, we had to fire them all. In their place are Black Irish, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, The Slow Eater, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 9 action.

Mr. T: Everyone needs to give Torry Hallelujah a TON of shit for his display this weekend. (Ed. Hallelujah started Jake Delhomme, who was on the bye, and left Gus Frerotte's 17 points on his bench). I don't care who you're sleeping with and how often you're doing it, starting a QB who's on the bye is completely inexcusable. This isn't some Powder Puff league. Marble Ryan touts this as the "most knowledgeable league of any out there,” but Torry did not help that case this weekend.

Mr. T: And it doesn't matter that you know you effed up. It's still inexcusable. You once said that in a fantasy draft of the RGIOQB owners, you’d be the #1 pick. Well, you just ran a 5.1 40 at the combine and dropped a 3 on the Wonderlic. It ain't karma that's gonna lose you the game this week; it's stupidity!

Steve Stevens: Torry, thanks for potentially costing me $40. Get your head out of your ass. (Ed. Cousin Bowser’s victory over Torry Hallelujah might move him ahead of Steve Stevens in the year-end standings. The owner of the last place team has to pay an additional $40 fee.)

Michael J. Cox: Looks like Torry has found the Jessica Simpson to his Tony Romo. Before long she’ll will be showing up to Blondies in a pink Hallelujah jersey and cheering mindlessly as the KL Crew puts up a 10 point day.

Black Irish: Seriously, this is one of the more embarrassing developments this season. I've gone under the radar picking up some guys off the waiver wire who are on byes, but this... this is just plain sad. Torry is going to lose to Cousin Bowser because he left Delhomme starting. Weakness

Torry Hallelujah: I really don’t have much to say for myself; I totally messed up. Thing is, I can’t even blame it on anyone but myself — I stayed in Saturday night and had more than enough time to change it. To quote Bill Belichick, “We’re moving on.”

Marble Ryan: I'd like to point out the following things that happened this weekend:

1. Boldin caught the TD, not Fitzgerald
2. Willis McGahee is hurt
3. Matt Schaub got hurt and is now out 4 weeks
4. Dan Orlovsky was good enough for me this week (15 points)
5. You can all kiss my ass

Mr. T: I'd like to point out:

1. Moss still only had 60+ yards and a fumble
2. Fitzgerald still had 80+ receiving yards, which makes 8 points the worst week he's had all year
3. You sold Tim Hightower early in the season and it might come back to haunt you. He now catapults himself into the top 15 of RBs

Back Irish: And to further point #2, it appears that Ray Rice is getting all of the carries there, minus a goal line touch or two.

The Slow Eater: I think it's funny that Marble is going to win this week in all likelihood because of his crappy trade. It doesn't change the quality of the trade though. There's no way you could have counted on Schaub getting hurt and the one total point gotten between Schaub and McGahee is still one more than Marble got from Romo and Morris.

Mr. T: It's also possible that my trade with Cousin Bowser cost me a win this week. (Ed. Mr. T traded Shaun Hill, Torry Holt, Jason Witten, and the Tennessee D to Cousin Bowser for David Garrard, Roy Williams, Tony Gonzalez, and the Cleveland D before Week 10). The difference between Garrard, Gonzalez, Galloway (because I wasn't starting Roy yet), and Cleveland D vs. Favre, TE Pickup, Holt, and Tennessee's D is 12 points. I'd feel a lot better down 11 with Portis and Holmes vs. Moss and Miller than down 23.

Steve Stevens: Brandon Jacobs looked real strong yesterday. I wish they would feed him the rock more. This Earth, Wind, and Fire thing is bullshit.

Mr. T: Maybe if Brandon Jacobs was more durable than a piece of legal paper, they wouldn’t have to worry about rotating him out of the game so much.

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Great Debates in Fantasy Football: Is this one of the oddest deals of all time?

At 12:23 a.m. last night, the following came over our league news wire:
“Marble Ryan agrees to trade Matt Schaub, Larry Fitzgerald, Willis McGahee and Isaac Bruce to Bruno for Tony Romo, Randy Moss, Sammy Morris, and Eddie Royal.”

We’ve analyzed mediocre trades before, but this blockbuster definitely shook up the league. Did Marble Ryan move himself closer to a championship, or did he take Wo Ai Beijing out of contention?

Marble Ryan: I understand that on the surface it appears I've given up value with every component of the trade. You can make the argument that I should've been upgraded in another area for giving Schaub up for an injured Romo. Here's my rationale: I play Steve Stevens this week, so I have time to wait. I am very down on Fitz with Boldin taking away red zone looks, and I think Moss is on the rise. And finally, I don't believe Morris is really hurt — the Pats are just messing around — and I think he's a much better play than McGahee. I don't think he's going to be out two more weeks. He'll play Week 10 at the latest. Also, I had no WR3, and I like Royal much better than Bruce. I'm rolling with Orlovsky at QB for the time being. Not counting that safety, take a look at his numbers — he's actually been good. And do you really think Romo can't heal from a broken pinky after 5 weeks off? He'll be fine. Schaub just gets you what the defense gives him. He's got to play Tennessee and Baltimore later on, and I think he'll revert to the form he showed in the first quarter of the season.

Mr. T: Marble, on behalf of the league, I'd like to thank you for making this trade. You've ensured a better chance for all the rest of us to make the playoffs. You're way way too down on Fitz. The guy is a legit name receiver and you basically gave him away. Let's look at something:

Points:
Player A - 9, 15, 16, 12, 15
Player B - 8, 32, 8, 17, 18

Besides the anomaly week of 32 vs. 15, does it really look like one player is better than the other? This is what happens when you don't actually pay attention to the games at Blondies. Player A is Fitz and Player B is Boldin. Those are the 5 games they've been on the field together. There's really no difference in their numbers once you remove the outliers.

You made this statement that you'd only trade Fitz for a legit RB and you didn't get that in this deal. So, nice job there. If this had been Schaub and Fitz for Romo and Moss, then it might've made some sense. But of the final six games of the fantasy season, Romo’s going to miss two of them. When he comes back, what's he really worth? 5 points a game?

Right now the best QB is averaging 18 a game and guys like Pennington, Garrard, Campbell, and Delhomme all average between 5-8 points less. For your RB2 and flex positions right now, you’ll be choosing between Morris (injured for at least 2 more weeks), Deuce (suspension looming), Selvin Young (banged up and crummy), and Kevin Smith (splitting carries). And when McAllister gets suspended in mid-November, what are you gonna do then?

You also say that you wanted to upgrade at WR3. Royal hasn't scored a TD since week 2. His yardage totals with Brandon Marshall in the lineup are 37, 11, 104, 23, and 71. I hate to break it to you, but he’s not a WR3.

Michael J. Cox: Marble, who are you starting at QB the next few weeks? You could be out of this thing before Romo even gets back, and the guy has a broken finger on his throwing hand. Did you see that thing he was wearing on it the game he was active? Think that's worth rolling with Seneca Wallace or Dan Orlovsky for 2-3 weeks when Schaub has been lights out lately? Also, do you really think Morris is going to be that strong of an option after Faulk & Green-Ellis have put in decent showings with him out? This is a Bill Belichick fantasy RB situation here. It doesn't turn out well over the long term for anyone.

The Slow Eater: I think that Marble Ryan doesn't appreciate the godsend that is Fitz. I know you crave explosivity, but you have to give Fitz's consistency some love. The last game in which he had less than 80 receiving yards and failed to score a TD was Week 1…of last season! That's a full season and a half of solid numbers he's been putting up every single week, with some monster games thrown in the mix. Having a WR like that gives you a huge edge. I'm very concerned that I'm going to regret not trading you for him when I had the chance. I just realized that I'm going against Bruno this week, and whereas of yesterday he was going to start Jamarcus Russell and Tyler Thigpen at QB, and Morris, who isn't even going to play this week, at RB, I have to deal with facing Schaub, Mcgahee, and Fitz. Fuck!

Steve Stevens: Just say "No" to Lions, Marble. You're making my draft mistake all over again with your acquisition of Kevin Smith and Orlovsky...

Torry Hallelujah: When this trade came over the wire, I thought about how Michael J. Cox was saying that there's definitely something to taking the Malcolm Gladwell "instinct is everything" approach when picking NFL games. My instinctive reaction to this swap? One of the worst trades I've seen in my 8 years of playing fantasy football.

Marble Ryan: You have a point about the Lions, but Orlovsky is a temporary backstop. You guys have no idea how frustrating it is to watch Warner never take his eyes off Boldin in the end zone, and then watch Boldin effortlessly get open for the TD grab while Fitz stands there pleasantly. It was great when Boldin was out, but that's over now and Fitz is back to being the #2 guy. If he's so great, why did I never receive one legit offer for him when he was openly on the block? There was no bid, and there has to be a reason for that. Deep down everyone wants to avoid him because of the Boldin overhang. And let's just wait and see what I get from Moss and Morris. I'm making a bet, and I like the direction they are going. Everyone loves Fitz until they think about giving something up for him, evidently. You all could have had him, you all could have drafted him. He's only worth something when you can trash me for setting him loose.

Mr. T: Marble, you always say you make one trade too many. This is that trade. How does this trade resemble a legitimate offer? An injured QB, a WR without his QB, an injured mediocre RB, and a WR4? And you're going to deal with a Belichick situation with injuries? Good Luck with that. You do realize Moss played better in the two games where Cassel was throwing at home, right? Of course he's gonna be better at home. And Moss' games weren't even that good! Apparently McGahee's TDs in back-to-back weeks was too much for you to handle. Your RB situation is absolutely putrid now. The problem here is you never seem to grasp the idea of market value. You traded away guys at their highest values, but you didn't receive guys whose market values were on the same level. When you buy low, you don't give up quality!

Marble felt like Mike Shanahan hasn't tossed his salad enough that he figured he'd ask Belichick to do it now. Jelly or syrup, big guy?
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Scout’s Take: In which we discuss a female gambling savant, Al Michaels’ constant allusions to the spread, Tony Romo’s broken pinky and Jay Cutler

Each week, our scouts gather together to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after heavily investing in an MLS franchise, we had to can them all. In their place are Black Irish, Bruno, Lafayette Gold, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, The Slow Eater, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 5 action.

Lafayette Gold: I’m not dead yet, bro... If Eli connects with Toomer for a couple of TDs tonight, I am back in biz. It’s definitely possible. Also, I can't believe the Bucs vs. Panthers defense is the difference here in my game with Torry. 21-0…ouch!

Mr. T: Dude, your chances of making this comeback are probably around 10-15%. News of the day is that Hasselbeck might not be back anytime soon. Apparently he needs more exams on his knee.

Lafayette Gold: Charlie Frye for MVP!

Mr. T: Good thing Berman picked the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl. I guess they're not a fan of leather. It seems like Seneca Wallace would get the nod next week if he's healthy. It's still kinda amazing how bad some of the back-up QBs are in this league. The funny part is that even if Julius Jones takes a fantasy downgrade because the Seattle passing game sucks, it doesn't look that bad off for that trade Steve Stevens and Bruno made last week. (ed. Steve Stevens traded Randy Moss to Bruno for Julius Jones before Week 6) Moss may never catch for 100 yards again this year with the way Cassel looked last night. I say we fully elect the Blondie’s hostess to pick the Marble Ryan Lock of the Week. Not only did she say to take the Chargers, but she liked the under too. Without the parlay, Marble would be down three times the vig through 6 weeks.

Michael J. Cox: That hostess knew way way too much about gambling for me. It was almost uncomfortable. Anytime a girl can give you 5+ spreads and 5+ over/unders off the top of her head there's a problem. I’ve never met a girl like that outside of the Las Vegas city limits. That conversation was almost surreal.

Mr. T: Most girls I know don't touch gambling and the few that do are more about poker or blackjack. I've never seen anything like it.

Torry Hallelujah: And the thing is, she has the right blend of knowledge and total stupidity to make her an incredible gambler. I have no doubt that she could out-pick everyone at our table.

Marble Ryan: My record’s not terrific, but having more correct picks than duds should let me keep my job. I don't want to rely on the hostess mostly because I really didn't enjoy talking to her yesterday. She's a strange person. Last night, I simply underestimated how bad Matt Cassel is, which is the same mistake made by the entire Pats front office, putting me in pretty good company, I’d say. I can't recall ever seeing Tom Brady go four and out at the goal line, even in his first year...his value has really been solidified this season.

Torry Hallelujah: Did you guys hear Al Michaels calling the last play of the game? Pats were down by a ton but called a timeout so they could throw into the end zone from the Chargers 15 or 20 yard line. “A certain portion of our audience is very interested in the outcome of this play.” And then, after the pass fell incomplete: “Well, it’s over...in one sense, but not the other.”

Mr. T: Yeah, I definitely heard that. I made a point of IMing someone to point it out. I knew the over was on the line. Me vs. the waitress...and she won...How about the 3 best QBs through 6 weeks...Rodgers, Rivers, And Brees. We definitely didn't see that coming? RBs go Portis, Bush, and Gore. Bush is on pace for those 20 TDs, but the guy can't run the ball for shit. 3.1 yards a carry? WTF IS THAT?!?

Michael J. Cox: By the way, Gmail just associated an ad for this site with our conversation. This probably isn't a good thing: http://www.dorseylevensreport.com

Mr. T: Breaking news: Romo’s out four weeks with a broken pinky. This has such a crazy fantasy impact. Everyone is downgraded. TO can't go long because Johnson doesn't have the arm. Witten was Romo's favorite target. Barber and Jones probably see less running room. And I've got Romo in 3 of 6 leagues. I have to decide between the likes of Kerry Collins, Gus Ferotte, and Matt Ryan going forward if I don't wanna deal with Johnson. Yikes!

Bruno: Anyone want to trade for him? I’m done – looks like Jamarcus Russell better step it up.

Michael J. Cox: What are the odds of a major TO & Brad Johnson dust up? Are they even taking those bets in Vegas?

Mr. T: Check out this from Rotoworld.com: Jay Cutler told The Sporting News that he has "a stronger arm than John (Elway), hands down. I'll bet on it against anybody's in the league," he said. "Brett Favre's got a cannon. But on game days, there's nobody in the league who's going to throw it harder than I am." Cutler also called Denver the favorite to win the AFC.

Steve Stevens: Is that the kind of cockiness you like or dislike from your QB?

Mr. T: Doesn't it remind you of this? http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2006/11/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield.html

The Slow Eater: Also, I think Cutler is getting a little insecure about now being considered the #2 QB in the Chefs organization and felt the need to overcompensate by making that statement. Nonetheless, we encourage vocal confidence among our players, provided that they back it up on the field, and don't talk lots of shit and then go out and suck, or, as it's known in the Chefs locker room "pulling a Chad Johnson."

Mr. T: Since I always break the news: Dungy just admitted Manning had a second surgery on his knee in the offseason.

Michael J. Cox: Interesting. I remember before their first game they zoomed in on his knee during warm-ups and I thought it looked like the scar was a little big for a bursa sac surgery. This would make sense.

Mr. T: Little big for a bursa sac surgery? You been interning with Dr. James Andrews? And I got heckled for making hamstring comments a few weeks ago?? You're the guy that refuses to have surgery on a knee that has at least one torn ligament in there.

Michael J. Cox: Easy pal. Thanks to the geniuses who design majors at UF, I had to take numerous AT & medical science courses as part of my core track of courses, so this is actually something I have experience with. For one course we watched upwards of 20 knee surgery videos and then had to identify them for the final based on a short summary clip and before/after photos. In other words, when Dr. James Andrews retires I'll be taking over his practice.

Marble Ryan: Whatever, he's cured. Now it's time to go after Brady's record. Peyton is angry, my friends!

Mr. T: Like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli…

Black Irish: This is entirely unrelated, but I'd just like to point out that David Akers gave me more point production than AD and Wes Welker combined this week. Oy. I'm bracing myself for comments from Mr. T re: the Harrison/Anvil trade. (Ed. Mr. T traded Jamal Lewis, Marvin Harrison, and Kevin Walter to Michael J. Cox for Lee Evans and Darren McFadden before Week 6 in a widely debated deal.)

Mr. T: This is the only quote I need:

MichaelJCox: If I somehow make the playoffs it could be directly tied to this trade. I would definitely have lost this week.

Michael J. Cox: Yeah, and if Jamal somehow manages to win me the $20 tonight I think you can officially close the book on the bad trade argument. A much needed W plus a weekly winner? That = results....
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Great Debates in Fantasy Football: If you’re up by one on Monday night, should you bench your defense?

In the RexGrossmanIsOurQuarterback.com fantasy league this week, Marble Ryan holds a one point lead, 94-93, over Black Irish going into Monday night’s contest between the Giants and the Browns. While Black Irish doesn’t have any players in this game on his team, Marble Ryan has the Giants defense.

If Marble Ryan were to bench the Giants defense, he’d guarantee himself a victory (barring a scoring adjustment). While starting the Giants defense could add to his point total – which would come in handy should he tie for a playoff spot – it’s possible they could also score negative fantasy points, giving him a loss for the week. Given all of this, we decided to ask our league members whether or not Marble should start or bench the Giants D tonight.

Note: In the RGIOQB fantasy league, a defense scores -1 points by giving up 28-34 points and -4 points if they give up 35+ points. These tallies are offset by any sacks, turnovers, or touchdowns the defense generates during the game.

Marble Ryan: I might bench them, just to lock it in, although I'm not sure. I think they’re a lock for at least one sack, but both the Browns and the Giants are due for an adjustment toward the mean.

Torry Hallelujah: I was thinking about this myself, and you have to play the defense. The final playoff spot is almost always decided by a tiebreaker, so you can't leave points on the table. Also, the nightmare scenario is benching your defense, then moving into a tie/loss as a result of a mid-week scoring adjustment. Unlikely, but worth considering. And pragmatically, the Giants pass rush is so strong that even if they give up a –4 on points, they're likely to at least have a few sacks and a turnover to make up for that.

Steve Stevens: Start ‘em. It's the Browns for fuck’s sake.

The Slow Eater: I know I'm a little late jumping in this conversation, but if I'm Marble, I sit my defense tonight. You worry about winning the game first, point totals later. Then again, I am the guy who sat Tomlinson and his 2 TDs for Michael Bush a couple weeks ago because Tomlinson was listed as questionable, so it's possible I play an overly conservative game. Of course the odds are heavily in favor of the Giants D putting up positive points, but I think you have to look at the potential damage of them costing Marble this game vs. the potential good having a few extra points could do him in a tiebreaker situation. I don't think potentially getting 5-10 points is worth the risk.

Mr. T: I'd probably play the Giants defense if it were me. With Winslow out, you figure the Browns offense won't be that great. They're also missing one of their tackles. Tuck should have at least two sacks against Ryan Tucker. I know Herm said you play to win the games, but when are you ever gonna take Herm's word for it. Mr. T says you play the odds. The odds are in Marble’s favor if he plays the Giants D. The chance of Cleveland scoring all those points without any sacks or turnovers is probably 5%. You're gonna be kicking yourself when you watch Aaron Ross running back a T.A.I.N.T. in the 3rd quarter. If it’s a QB like Rex Grossman then I’d bench him. Not the best defense in football against the 32nd rated offense. I'll add that Karma is on Marble’s side. His girlfriend just spent a weekend in Vegas. If anything, he's due for something in return...

Michael J. Cox: I think you have to play the Giants D tonight. Just think about it this way. If you walked into Caesars and put money on a prop that said the Giants defense would give up 35+ points, have less than <2 sacks & <1 turnover. You'd probably be looking at 10/1 odds on it (Browns are +300 on the ML, so figure give it something just north of a 3x multiplier for the special requirements). On the other hand, I would put the odds of you being in a tiebreaker situation where points are a factor at more like 5/1. I think it's a no brainer.
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Scout’s Take: In Which We Discuss the Ineptitude of the Detroit Lions, Clinton Portis, and 75-yard field goals

Each week, our scouts gather together to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after betting heavily on Misty May to win Dancing with the Stars, we had to send them all packing. In their place are Black Irish, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, The Slow Eater, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 5 action.

Mr. T: It looks like Cousin Bowser's Lehman Brother is coming outta bankruptcy. The irony: if Schaub starts, Marble Ryan gets points from him, but probably less from Peyton as a result of Rosenfels’ meltdown.

Marble Ryan: Obviously, today's events in the market are keeping me from saying everything I want to, but I will say this: if I lose on a Lance Moore touchdown, I don't want to be friends with any of you anymore.

Mr. T: It would probably look abnormal if you were pounding out on your Blackberry at your desk as the market drops to its lowest levels in 4 years.

Torry Hallelujah: Should be quite the showdown tonight between the Crew and Los Chefes. I think Brees is going to have a big day but that he’s going to be good for one pick 6.

Mr. T: Steve’s very quiet over there. I think he feels like he's got no chance in hell of winning. And if Lance Moore can get me the 9 points I need, there's no way Marble Ryan is ever spending a autumn Saturday night sleepover in Brooklyn again.

Mr. T: Do we think it's effectively time to close the book on LJ? A friend of mine at work remarked how he wasn't really paying attention to the game at the bar, but noticed once that they flashed the game leaders for rushing and he saw Jamaal Charles up there with 18 yards. After thinking about it for a second, it hit him that LJ must not have even gotten to past 18 yards. I'm definitely kicking myself over here for not trading Johnson in my $$$ league for either Fitzgerald or a T. Jones and A. Gonzalez package. The guy is terrible. Michael J. Cox might have to smoke and mirrors his way to more wins without his first and second round picks.

Steve Stevens: I'm quiet because I don't think I have any chance, and I'm still bitter about how bad the Lions are. Peterson's gonna run all over NO's swiss cheese D. The only hope I have is if he gets shot or the Saints can't run the ball on the Vikes and throw every down. This is why I play in 4 leagues...

Black Irish: 2Girls1Cup = 1Guy4Leagues. BTW, has anyone heard if Trent Edwards is still alive?

Mr. T: I like 2Girls1Cup = 3Lions2Many. It's a good thing you didn't put down that NFC North bet on the Lions. Is anyone as excited for the Drew Stanton betting era as I am?

Torry Hallelujah: Yeah, that call about the Lions was just as bad as Michael J. Cox’s call about his QB situation (which prominently involved Aaron Brooks) two years ago.

Steve Stevens: I need a league-imposed bailout for investing too heavily in the Detroit Lions. Is this an option?

Mr. T: This league isn't a communist endeavor. It's a dictatorship if anything.

Torry Hallelujah: Hank Paulson ain’t walking t’ru dat door.

Mr. T: I'm not sure what's more embarrassing, losing to a team that sported TWO 0s in their starting lineup (Edwards and LenDale) or losing to a team who started Orton and Edwards at QB and left an able bodied Carson Palmer on the bench.

Torry Hallelujah: Anyone else see that Jim Zorn let Clinton Portis call a crucial 4th down play yesterday at the end of the game? This league is going in a crazy direction.

Mr. T: Just think how different this league would be if Michael J. Cox had taken Portis, I had drafted Brady and Barber, and traded them in the pre-draft agreement to Cousin Bowser for Steven Jackson and T.O.

The Slow Eater: I think this might be the most games we've ever had being decided during Monday Night Football. It's good stuff. Going into the night game last night my thinking was that as long as Roethlisberger was held to 15 or fewer points, I was in pretty good shape. That didn't happen. Also, I'm having flashbacks to last season when I lost to Torry during Monday Night Football on an onside recovery followed by a 50-yard Nick Folk field goal as time expired. I'm not sure if The Chefs have ever recovered from the emotional scars of that night.

Mr. T: Matt Prater for President. From Rotoworld.com: Broncos K Matt Prater says he will try a 64-yard field goal before the season is up. The NFL record is 63 yards. Prater hits 70-yarders in practice and has thin Mile High air on his side, so breaking the record seems likely if the opportunity comes. Prater is already 4-of-4 from 50+ yards this season.

Michael J. Cox: Too bad Lane Kiffin isn't coaching the Broncos—Prater could try one from 75+.
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Great Debates in Fantasy Football: Who Has More Value, Kevin Smith or DeAngelo Williams?

At 11:51 a.m., news broke that Marble Ryan had traded DeAngelo Willians to Steve Stevens in exchange for Kevin Smith. Sure, players like these aren't the biggest names around, but often it's trades like this that can determine a fantasy championship.

So, who got the better end of the deal? Both parties and a few other league members weigh in on the transaction. Note that Steve Stevens owned Jonathan Stewart prior to the trade.

Marble Ryan: I'm pretty bullish on my Deuce acquisition and I still have faith in Selvin Young with Dre Hall clearly playing his way out of touches. DeAngelo was essentially my fifth RB, and he hasn't looked very good. I know Smith is garbage, too, but he has some upside as Rudi is not going to last long as the starter. I don't mind having a high risk guy as my fifth RB. DeAngelo's value will continue to drop each week, and Rudi could easily go down this Sunday, so there was some urgency.

I understand fully the problems with Smith. I liked, however, that he is reacting angrily to being benched – he's motivated to win his job back. And if you want to talk about garbage, Rudi is as bad as it gets at the RB position. He'll be out of the mix in due time, I suspect.

Steve Stevens: They're two lame duck running backs, but I think Smith is more lame than DeAngelo. Even if Smith wins back the starting job, the Lions schedule is just too tough. They play the Bears (twice), the Vikings, and a few other tough Ds like the Titans. DeAngelo's biggest attribute is that he's not Kevin Smith. There's not a ton of upside, though, unless Jonathan Stewart gets hurt. For me, the trade was more about Carolina RB insurance. Detroit's running situation is horrific. I'm definitely cutting bait while I can.

Michael J. Cox: It looks like Marble Ryan is starting to enter terrible trade mode early this year. It's not a good trade. It's not amazingly bad or anything because of the mediocrity of the players involved, but DeAngelo Williams is a starter, Kevin Smith is not, and Carolina is the better team.

Mr. T: If you think Smith sucks and that DeAngelo has more value right now, doesn't that mean you're getting the less in the deal? Couldn't you have found a small upgrade elsewhere? You could've sold it harder as insuring the Carolina RB situation. Smith's value couldn't be any lower right now.

Marble Ryan: I know Kevin Smiff's value is low right now, but Kellen Winslow was seriously the only upgrade I could've gotten from Steve's team, and he was out of my reach. Steve's team is terrible. DeAngelo was just hangin' from a string for me, so I thought I'd upgrade to some upside. It's a gamble on my part, I know, but one worth taking, with Deuce, Selvin, and Chris "Gaylord" Perry. Perry had a bad game last week, but it happens to everyone. Marion Barber had 2 points last week – these things happen.
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Scout’s Take: In Which We Discuss Brian Westbrook’s Injury, Why Andre Hall Keeps Getting Carries, and Why No One Should Trade with Torry Hallelujah

Each week, our scouts gather together to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after blowing our savings betting on Marble Ryan’s Lock of the Week, we had to place them all on waivers. In their place are Black Irish, Marble Ryan, Mr. T, The Slow Eater, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 3 action.

Mr. T: Suddenly Steve Stevens’ team looks like it’s in serious trouble. Torry Hallelujah leaves Brown on the bench and watches Big Ben and Westbrook get hurt. And Cousin Bowser just changed his team name to Lehman Brothers, which lets you know how he feels about his season.

Steve Stevens: My team sucks balls. Pinning my hopes to the Detroit Lions looks like an Isiah-esque decision.

Torry Hallelujah: Hey, at least Clemson still looks like a lock for that national title bid. (Ed. Steve Stevens predicted Clemson to be an NCAA National Championship contender before the college football season began.)

Mr. T: Steve, you should’ve traded Moss when you had the chance. And now Rudi seems like he took over for Kevin Smith. “The Beej” got outgained by Derrick Ward. The whole system is breaking down!

Marble Ryan: Looks like I was about to make another season-ruining trade, only this time I got saved by my counter-party. And this Selvin Young thing is really getting out of hand. The Broncos were on national TV yesterday giving everyone the opportunity to see how bad Andre Hall is. He’s really terrible, and Young is awesome. I can understand giving Pittman short yardage – he’s a lot bigger and stronger than Young. But there is no reason to give Hall any carries except in emergency situations. I know the argument about trying to keep Young from being a marquee player and keep him cheap, but that’s BS. They turned Portis into a star and ended up getting Champ Bailey for him – I’d say it was worth it! Idiots!

Torry Hallelujah: You should change your team name to “Hanging from a String.”

Mr. T: Young’s YPC average is pretty intense. But how can you argue with Shana-tan when the team put up 34 points?? If anything he needs Young in there at safety. Fitzgerald is looking like a better WR than Moss right now. Sam Cassell was not getting it done at QB for New England on Sunday. Rotoworld said Moss was sitting by himself on the bench at times. Can we say Raiders revisited??

Steve Stevens: I can see Belichick going back to the drawing board this week and figuring out ways to get Moss more involved. That guy doesn’t take losing lightly. And Fitzgerald for Moss was never the issue. I was just not prepared to have Thomas Jones as my #1 back. Brandon Jacobs has been mediocre fantasy wise this season, but he is much more likely to get it done week in and week out than Thomas Jones. And…Clemson sucks...

Mr. T: At least with Jones you’re guaranteed 20 carries most weeks and that he’s not in any kinda time-share. With Earth, Wind, & Fire the Giants are about keeping everyone fresh. Plus they still haven’t played their games against the tougher Cowboys and Eagles defenses. Not saying it was a sure thing, but right now things aren’t looking good for Steve Stevens.

Marble Ryan: It doesn’t look good, although Moss was pretty chipper at the press conference. I think he’s betting on that 1-year contract for Drew Bledsoe, too. Cassel is garbage, and the Pats basically just quit yesterday. Thank god for this Colts bye...I need the real Manning if I’m going to have my annual 4th place finish. The real problem for Steve Stevens is Kevin Smith. It’s not even a time-share in Detroit, Rudi Johnson is now a feature back, people. I’m not going to put in a request for him though, that would violate my “say no to Detroit” policy.

Marble Ryan: Has Torry’s Ronnie Brown revelation officially been neutralized by the Westbrook fiasco? That’s like 4 straight years now Westbrook’s had an injury, although the past two he’s only missed one game. The law of averages states this one should be more serious.

Mr. T: I say Westbrook misses at least 3 games. As our resident injury specialist, I feel like I can give that diagnosis with a fair mind. That did not look pretty. (Ed. Westbrook has since been ruled day-to-day). I think Grant’s a major problem too. I know they just give him a nice contract, but he doesn’t look good out there, while some of the other backs are producing a little better.

Steve Stevens: I’m detecting an air of cockiness from the F-Team after its first win...

Black Irish: “Resident injury specialist” = bruises badly walking through a subway turnstile.

Mr. T: Yeah well if any of you clowns actually got off your butts and got some exercise into your lives, maybe you could comment on injuries. It’s hard to get injured on the couch while eating a box of Goldfish.

Marble Ryan: I advise a lig-wide halt on trading with Torry. With Brown and Marshall, you do not want to give this guy another weapon right now. Just putting it out there, we need a little collusion to save us all.

Black Irish: The situation with Torry Hallelujah should take care of itself. It’s only a matter of time till Marshall effs it up by holding up a Burger King or something.

Torry Hallelujah: Let’s be honest, I was a little too high on my team on Saturday, and even with the decision to bench RB23, things were looking just a bit too rosy for me. The Westbrook injury was a big dose of karma straight to my dome. Of course, none of this would be a problem if Ryan Grant were healthy, but that’s another issue.

Marble Ryan: Don’t listen to Torry!! He’s only pretending to not be high on his team now so he can fool one of you into giving him a top line WR for Roddy White and another inconsistent backup. I know from experience: do not trade with Torry. He’s ruthless.

Mr. T: Just because you’re the moron that traded AD for a time-share running back doesn’t mean we’re all dumb enough to do that.

Slow Eater: Let’s wait for Ronnie Brown to put together two good games in a row before we crown Torry Hallelujah. Ricky freaking Williams also averaged over 6 yards a carry yesterday. The Patriots D was just atrocious and the timeshare isn’t going away any time soon. And his number 1 RB and QB both went down. Don’t get me wrong, Torry’s looking strong, but we don’t need to resort to collusion just yet.
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Scout's Take

Each week, our scouts gather together to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after our Lehman stock got wiped out, we had to lay them all off. In their place are Black Irish, Mr. T, Marble Ryan, and Steve Stevens, who let us know what they took away from the Week 2 action.

Black Irish:
Dear Carson Palmer,
You’re dead to me.
Your pal,
Irish

Steve Stevens: If anyone’s interested, Randy Moss is on the block. I can see him becoming a cancer on my team with Matt Cassell throwing to him.

Marble Ryan: Oh yeah, count on Randy Moss mailing it in the rest of the season. No way he stays motivated without Brady barking at him.

Mr. T: Don’t forget that last year was Moss’s contract year. Michael J. Cox knew that when he drafted him last year. Brotha is getting paid now. The popcorn man might be the new #1 WR.

Marble Ryan: Also, can someone explain to me what is wrong with Mike Shanahan? I can understand playing Pittman at the goal line...he’s big and strong and a cagy vet. But what is the point of giving carries to Andre Hall? He’s not good! Selvin Young is ten times better — he should be getting 15 to 20 carries a game. Shanahan is such a stubborn jack ass! Andre Hall is garbage...anyone have an explanation for me??

Mr. T: When you’re slim at the waist, you can’t handle 20 carries a game — that’s how he got hurt last year. And it’s all scheme, so Shanahan can keep running in whoever. By keeping the carries down, the contract $ stays down, too. It doesn’t matter when you got Brandon Marshall, though. He was right on about 140 catches. Speaking as a premier touch football defensive back, couldn’t they possibly adjust the coverage? Most of his catches came on like 8 yards routes. Couldn’t San Diego just roll the safety over and run some press coverage with Cromartie? I mean, how many times can you give up that same play? I thought the Chargers’ secondary was supposed to be better than that.

Marble Ryan: Well, Marshall obviously made that statement after having some conversations with Shanahan and Cutler. They probably told him beforehand that he’d be getting fed the ball like a running back, so it’s not much of a prediction. To use a metaphor you might understand, Mr. T, it’s like telling your buddies you think you can bang a chick after she’s been sending you dirty text messages.

Mr. T: It’s all part of a larger plan. Shanahan can tell Marshall that because hisrap sheet is so long, he’ll never be able to get big guaranteed $$. To use a metaphor you can understand, it’s like paying $10 for a porno with a C level actress as opposed to paying like $30 for one with Tera Patrick. Sure, the C level actress has some red flags, but at the end of the day, she still makes all the plays you need her to make.

Marble Ryan: Except that Marshall isn't C level, he's one of the best receivers in The Lig. You are an idiot.

Mr. T: Change the C level to the new Jenna Jameson with her saggy body and deformed face. Those red flags = Marshall's multiple arrests. It's still a good porno in the Marble Ryan household. Rotoworld says Roy’s complaining about his role in the new Lions’ offense. Williams has six catches for 95 yards in two games so far.

Marble Ryan: He was regressing last year too...he basically has one good year under him, but he’s always been a prima donna...right now, he just doesn’t have to goods to compete with Bolt.

Mr. T: In Week 1, Calvin saw 10 looks and Roy only 5. Roy shouldn’t have talked up Bolt so much.
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Scout's Take

Each week, our scouts gather together to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, we had to lay off all of our scouts after we were taken over by the federal government as a conservatorship. In their place are Mr. T, Marble Ryan, Steve Stevens, and Michael J. Cox, who let us know what they took away from the Week 1 action.

Marble Ryan: Great opening weekend in the NFL: rookie RBs go ape, Tom Brady gets hurt, and Reggie Bush lives up to Marble Ryan's hype. Chris Johnson is going to win an MVP award at some point in his career.

Mr. T: LT is such a bitch – thank God I played against him in three leagues. He was whining about his turf toe. That guy needs to sack up and play.

Marble Ryan: Yeah, LT is a little bit of a bitch, but he always starts slow. People forget this, but his 30 TD year started off that way, too. Oh, and I still like Moss after the Brady injury. I think hell actually benefit from playing in the Matt Cassell one-read offense.

Mr. T: How many points did Thomas Jones score this week, 16? Good thing you almost traded him…

Marble Ryan: I wasnt going to trade Tom Jones for just anything. Its not like I wanted to dump him at any cost, I just think he has limited upside – and still do. Hell be a solid RB2, but I need some more explosivity in my life. My team will score 95 points a week but never top 110.

Mr. T: When Reg-jay rolls off of a 13-carry, 27-yard stunner in Week 6, we can talk the explosivity in your live. Sometimes consistency wins. By the way, get Tarvaris ready in your bullpen – Bulger and the Rams looked terrible yesterday. (Ed. This was before Tarvaris took a dump at the 50 yard line on Lambeau Field during Monday’s game).

Marble Ryan: Makes that “No Game” Holt pick look like less of a value, huh? I smell another last place finish for The A-Team.

Steve Stevens: I think the Saints are going to explode offensively. Wish I had Brees in more leagues. He’s gonna be smashing defenses this year.

Mr. T: Kind of like how you thought the Lions would explode? Still waiting for that one.

Steve Stevens: Kitna was OK, Roy scored, Calvin had yards. Silent Bob scored too, but I’m a little worried about him going forward.

Mr. T: Hey Cox, nice Karma with Brady. Which porn star did you give that STD to this week?

Michael J. Cox: Tom who? www.KurtWarnerIsMyQuarterback.com. I’ve moved on.

Mr. T: I can’t wait to hear the sentiments on Warner by week 9. I faintly remember the quote from last year, “Get a life Warner!”

Michael J. Cox: I’m sure he’ll be injured by then and I’ll be starting some other ass clown.

Mr. T: How about the Marble Ryan Lock of the Week? Nice pick Cowher!

Marble Ryan: It’s Week 1, The Lock was bound to be wrong. Didn’t you read the disclaimer? My favorite play yesterday was in the Cowboys-Browns game – The Human Anvil ran head first right into Marcus Spears and bounced about three yards backwards. It looked like something out of a cartoon.

Mr. T: Gotta give The Anvil some credit, he was one of the few Browns still playing hard in the second half. Maybe one of his coaches threatened to drop the soap in the post game shower and he had nightmares of his time in the clink. What’s the over/under on Brady Quinn taking over? Week 7?

Marble Ryan: Derek Anderson looked good to start the game; the guy that really sucked was Braylon Edwards. He looked fat and slow. I think he’s on the Marble Ryan diet plan. So does Lewis. When Spears knocked him on his ass, he looked like a fat lady who just fell down a flight of stairs. As Selvin Young will tell you, you need to be slim at the waist to excel in this league. Did you see his 2000-yard prediction in SI?

Mr. T: Edwards didn’t play the last three weeks and he dropped three balls, including a few easy ones. Peyton Manning missed time and the Colts looked out of sync, too. Shows you that the preseason actually means something. Hmm, Selvin Young predicting 2000 or AD predicting 2000…wonder who I’m going to pick there. You should make SY for 2000 the Marble Ryan Lock of the Year.

Marble Ryan: The Lock of the Year is the A-Team missing the playoffs – Darius Walker ain’t walking through that door. (Ed. The A-Team, winner of the 2007 RGFL championship, actually started Texans RB Darius Walker in the playoffs).
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RGFL 2008 Draft Review: The Lig Strikes Back

Mr. T couldn’t simply make his team the co-favorite to win it all without hearing it from the rest of us. Read below to see what transpired over email after he circulated his “objective” draft review. As you can see, things got a little personal between Mr. T and Michael J. Cox toward the end. Enjoy.

Black Irish (10:13 a.m.): A shocking revelation – the guy who made the odds picked his team as a co-favorite to win it all. I’m floored.

Mr. T (10:14 a.m.): I produce results, my friend: 6 teams last year, 5 playoff berths. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be co-favorite. And the people agree:

SteveStevensCanes: i dig your team
RoxetteHoover: you have a good team too
CCWriterSupreme: solid draft for you
HockeyRob: I like that squad a lot.

Michael J. Cox (10:22 a.m.): Touting Roxette’s opinion of your fantasy team, eh? Was Michelle Tafoya unavailable?

Mr. T (10:23 a.m.): Stephania Bell wouldn’t return my calls…

Torry Hallelujah (10:35 a.m.): Decent squad, but I’m put him at no better than 7-1 given the QB weakness. And the fact is, he could’ve drafted Garbage Johnson with his first round pick — he still would’ve put himself at 5-1.

Black Irish (10:39 a.m.): Yeah, Matt Schaub is really going to lead the A-Team to the promised land. Nice.

Steve Stevens (10:40 a.m.): I wouldn’t sleep on Matt Schaub this year. Top 10 fantasy QB for ‘08, book it. I think The A-Team’s RB situation is a little rough, though – I can see Jamal Lewis and Portis starting the older RB tailspin this year.

Mr. T (10:40 a.m.): I’d like to point out Yahoo’s scoring projection for Week 1:
The A-Team 109, Full Retard 88
See you on the field big guy. Tell Chia Garcheeea I’m waiting for him.

Michael J. Cox (10:45 a.m.): I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I’m ready to pack it in and just hand Mr. T the money right now. Between Roxette’s analysis and Yahoo’s Week 1 score projection, I think it’s pretty clear we’re all pretty much playing for second at this point. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news...

Mr. T (10:46 a.m.): Sorry, I can’t hear you guys – my championship ring is blocking out all the outside noise.

Michael J. Cox (10:51 a.m.): That’s good, because we’re all still laughing about your last place finish 2 years ago. Wouldn’t want you to hear that. Might hurt your feelings.

Mr. T (10:52 a.m.): I’m pretty sure it’s more profitable to finish first and last in alternating years than in the middle of the pack two years in a row. Maybe you can do the math for me. Or maybe we can have your boy Kevin Curtis do it – he’s got a lot of free time on his hands right now. (ed: Michael J. Cox drafted Kevin Curtis in the 9th round of the Rex Grossman Fantasy League draft. Curtis is out indefinitely after undergoing surgery to treat a sports hernia.)

Michael J. Cox (10:59 a.m.): Yes, unfortunately my employer expects more than 15 minutes worth of work from me each week, so staying up to date on the injury status of the likes of Kevin Curtis is sometimes difficult. And thankfully I’m not relying on fantasy football for profitability, but then again I’m also not on the 20-year plan to become a GM.

Mr. T (11:00 a.m.): What about Steve Stevens? His to-do list is as long as a BBC, but he knew that Kevin Curtis was injured. What’s your jab at him?

Michael J. Cox (11:07 a.m.): My familiarity with both Steve’s to-do list and BBCs is pretty low, so it’s hard to comment on that one, but all these shots I’m taking for poor draft preparation really hurt! I’m sure glad I don’t play in 8 leagues like some of the real fantasy douches out there, or else I’d be in pretty bad shape over this.

Mr. T (11:08 a.m.): You’re wasting a lot of time talking smack for a guy who claims he doesn’t care that much about fantasy football...

Michael J. Cox (11:09 a.m.): Who said you have to be obsessed with fantasy football to talk smack about it? Isn’t that the whole point?
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