Tarvaris Jackson, Who Art Thou?

On Sunday morning, I found myself searching the waiver wire for quarterback alternatives. Given our 2-QB league, the options were rather limited. Joe Flacco, facing the Steelers defense, didn't make me feel comfortable. Names like Orlovsky and Fitzpatrick don't provide a winning feeling. Bernard Madoff might've been a better answer. Finally I got to the last name on the list — Tarvaris Jackson. Everyone remembers Jackson, the second round pick with the lightning quick feet and the arm of John Elway. So: Flacco or Jackson? McDonalds or Burger King? Coke or Pepsi? The answer wasn't so clear.

I decided to go with Joe Flacco. Dance with the one who brought you, right? I still haven't figured out how the University of Pittsburgh chose Tyler Palko over Flacco as their starter. Dave Wannstedt isn't exactly Ray Handley, but that decision looks pretty bad. Now I'm the one who seems like the ass-bag.

Arizona hasn't stopped the pass all year, but passing isn’t Minnesota's game. Peterson has been his usual dominant self, so Childress was going to feed the beast and not let Tarvaris lose the game. With the potent Arizona offense, the idea was clear — control the clock, control the game. The last thing you need is Warner throwing a few early TDs against your incompetent secondary, leading to a shootout.

At about 4:25 p.m., everything stopped making sense. Jackson hit Berrian down the right sideline for a long TD. Flacco went 3 and out. Jackson found Rice for a short score. Jackson threw to Chester Taylor for his third score. Baltimore had 6 points at halftime. I thought I was in an alcohol-induced dream world until I realized I was still too hung over from the night before to get past the quarter point of my Bud Light. I could say the icing on the cake was the double move that Bobby Wade unleashed on his way to six points, but that wasn't the case. It was Flacco's Hail Mary interception as time wound down. I knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

I’m down three points to the Slow Eater entering Monday night. It's my Jamal Lewis against his Eagles defense and obviously I’m not feeling too rosy about my chances. With Ken Dorsey lined up behind center, my championship hopes seem dead and buried. One can only hope Dorsey has a little Tarvaris Jackson in him. That's the only lifeline I have left.

- Michael J. Cox

Who Else Do People Hate?

I need to watch my words because many people read this site. That said, I got my ass handed to me by Marble Ryan this week. You can say it's because of what happened on the field, but I beg to differ. We all know where I stand on karma and it reared its ugly head again. I'll throw a big fuck you out to karma and the reasoning Wo Ai Beijing looks on its way to a title. I’ve basked in the benefits, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about this year’s results.

- Mr. T

Fuck Reggie Bush. Keep trying to juke everyone on the field when you could burn past them. Maybe if you didn’t keep trying to cut every other step your knee would still be in one piece.

- Matt C., New York, NY