You Know Who You Should Start?

Tyler Thigpen (QB – KC) Hangovers are one thing, but today I'm feeling like never before. Unfortunately, I can't say I'm still reeling from Britney Spears' birthday party at Tenjune or a wild night on the town with LC and Lo. In fact, my hangover isn't even alcohol-related. Last night we celebrated Torry Hallelujah's birthday with a Brazilian meat festival unlike anything we’d ever seen before. Coming off a stomach bug on Wednesday, it probably wasn't best for Mr. T to endure such gluttony, but I took one for the team. Last night's protein consumption was the largest I've seen since the Bang Bus Bukkake session of ‘06.

The Tyler Thigpen owners out there aren't hungover yet, though. Somehow the kid has continued to perform in the spread offense and has sprinkled in some rushing yards to keep the fantasy point totals high. The same should happen this week against a Chargers squad that still hasn't shown up for the '08 season. If someone can explain to me how Norv Turner still has a job, please do. A RGIOQB.com favorite, Thigpen should find the end zone a couple times and be his usual productive self.

You Know Who Else You Should Start?

David Garrard (QB - JAX) The once vaunted Packers secondary is now collapsing. The Jags will be able to establish the run, which should open up the passing game for Garrard. Earlier this week, a Jacksonville-area proctologist offered to remove Garrard's head from his ass, so he should finally be effective.

Clinton Portis (RB - WSH) Maybe this is an obvious one, but I expect Coach Janky Spanky to back up his trash talk this week.

Dominic Rhodes (RB - DET) The Lions didn't need the tryptophan on Thanksgiving because they've been asleep the whole season. Addai is banged up worse than that bartender at Deno's Party house, so the Rhodes play should be safe one — at least at the flex..

Vincent Jackson (WR - SD) It's always good to be called out by Marble Ryan. Jackson should have a potent day in the shootout against the Chiefs. Viva Viagra!

Davone Bess (WR - MIA) Time to get on board if you haven't already. This guy is a receptions machine!

Domenik Hixon (WR - NYG) Assuming he's healthy enough to play, he'll redeem himself this week against a Cowboys defense that has been playing over it's head the last few weeks.

John Carlson (TE - SEA) Not being owned by Torry Hallelujah guarantees success. It helps that he finally has some healthy receivers around him, as well.