Welcome to the Playoffs

After writing my swan song three weeks ago, it appeared as if Mr. T would not be defending his title. The ground had been dug up, the tombstone had been constructed, and the epitaph had been written. "Here lies Mr. T. He was unable to overcome the championship hangover. His wisdom was defied. Thomas Jones couldn't save his season." Then something odd happened. Whether it be a decrease in trash talk or a minor miracle, karma started working in this man's direction. I reeled off three straight wins and now sit in third place, awaiting a showdown with Marble Ryan, the preeminent football mind of his generation. While Marble's preeminence will continue to receive the Antonio Pierce treatment, my roster decisions will not face such investigation.

You see, I sat in this same seat one year ago. I was the #3 seed, two wins away from a year's worth of bragging rights, and I took home the crown. Torry Hallelujah has already shown you how mismanagement can ruin a fantasy season. This week, the man who can claim the astute roster acquisitions of Kenny Watson, Kolby Smith, and Darius Walker in Week 16 of last year's final will deliver several names who he expects to wreak havoc in this year's playoffs.

Kyle Orton (QB - CHI) The winds of the South Side are never a pleasant thing, but Chicago's QB has the makings of a playoff performer. He looks homeless and is known to like his Jack Daniels, but you can't fault a guy with his upcoming schedule. The Saints haven’t shown the ability to hold down fantasy QBs and the Packers' secondary currently looks like a collection of Bear Sterns traders masquerading as defensive backs. Weather permitting, and I stress that, Orton should be good enough to steer your ship. And his beard fits right into any pirate motif.

Tyler Thigpen (QB - KC) We've already told you to get Thiggy with it numerous times this year. If you haven't listened, shame on you! He's been a fairly consistent producer and the next two opponents (SD & MIA) shouldn't pose much competition.

Shaun Hill (QB - SF) You never thought you'd be able to move on from Alex Smith, right? Me neither. I was really hoping that Upper Deck rookie card wouldn't go to waste. Instead it appears Hill is very effective and doesn't turn the ball over as much as J.T. O'Sucks-again. Miami and St. Louis provide perfect conditions for continued success.

Kevin Smith (RB - DET) The Lions suck, but that hasn't stopped Kevin Smith from being relatively productive. You still might be kicking yourself for drafting him ahead of Matt Forte (I know I am!!), but the Colts and Saints won't be too formidable in the next two weeks.

Pierre Thomas (RB - NO) Fear is possibly the greatest motivator. The Saints informed Thomas that if he didn't excel in the season's closing weeks, they'd feel the need to draft a RB in the 2009 Draft. Thomas responded with a 2 TD performance on Sunday and looks to continue performing against the Bears and Lions. And if you're saying Lions and Bears, oh my, notice that the Bears run defense hasn't stopped anyone on the road recently.

Davon Bess (WR - MIA) If you've watched Bess play over the last few weeks, you're already asking your parents to allow you to get dreds. Davone has been a consistent target for Pennington since Camarillo went down, although he hasn't been able to find the end zone. With the Niners and Chiefs on the menu, paydirt will be served with your cheese course.

Deion Branch (WR - SEA) I'm still amazed at how the Seahawks gave up a first round pick for this guy, but that's not your problem. The Rams and Jets won't be a problem for Deion either with what they've shown in their secondary recently. Order your neon green gloves and enjoy the show.