Next Year

Next year: two words that any fantasy owner hates to hear. With either two or three weeks left in the fantasy regular season, there are plenty of owners out there preparing to face this sad reality. Even the great Mr. T has the unenviable task of looking ahead to next season. After winning three of my six leagues last year, it seems as if three of my six teams this year won't even make the playoffs. Even worse, the three leagues in which I’ll be going home early are the ones with the most money at stake. Hey, shit happens. The Giants beat the undefeated Patriots in the Super Bowl, Li’l Bow Wow showed brain on last week’s Entourage, and Cousin Bowser once bought 8 sneakers out of a bargain bin before realizing they were all made for the left foot.

The financial structure of the RGIOQB league prevents tanking. After watching numerous owners with teams at the bottom of the league begin to ignore their rosters late into the season, we decided to offer “weekly winner” payouts to motivate owners to keep on top of their teams even if they weren’t likely to make the playoffs. We also added a penalty for finishing in last place to further convince owners that the cellar is the last place they want to be. As you’ve seen (insert link), things can get heated when owners with teams in the middle of the pack unwittingly interfere with the teams in contention for that last place spot. Add in the trash talk that’s a hallmark of the RGIOQB league, and tanking becomes an impossibility.

Keeper leagues are obviously a completely different story. While none of my six leagues are keeper leagues, I like the idea of them because they keep everyone in the game for the whole season. If you’re in a keeper league, keep your ear to the ground.

For the rest of you out there, take some pride in yourself. Hopefully you too are in leagues with friends as opposed to randoms you met in the mock draft lobby on ESPN.com. It definitely helps keep you competitive in the final weeks of the season, when the best part of your Sundays are the commercial breaks that don’t contain the “Saved by Zero” commercials. You can still prevent your annoyingly confident friend from making the playoffs. Only a plate full of Lafleur hot dogs from the Bell Centre in Montreal would taste better. Although with the Canadian dollar taking a nose dive, maybe it’s time for you to call your travel agent.