It’s a Monday in late August, draft night in the RGIOQB fantasy league. I walk into the bar and join the other competitors not with a sense of excitement but one of resignation. I have the fourth overall pick. I’m getting stuck with Joseph Addai.See, I drafted Addai in the first round last year (at #6). I know what his deal is: good player, great potential, can’t stay healthy, plays on a team that likes to coddle him and not give him too many touches. He was just good enough last season that I couldn’t pass him up at #4 without feeling bad about it. Still, I wasn’t looking forward to another season of DNPs and Kenton Keith TDs.
But something miraculous happened: Lafayette Gold, a Colts homer, drafted Addai at #3. Unbelievable! I announced my selection of Brian Westbrook with such quickness and enthusiasm that, if I were in charge of a real NFL draft, I would’ve tripped on my run up to the podium, causing Roger Goodell to fall backwards like the bride in that wedding disaster clip.
My relationship with Brian Westbrook got off to a great start: the shift Philadelphia RB racked up a whopping 48 fantasy points over the first two weeks to the season. I’d stolen the best player in the league at #4 and my team was in first place because of it. I couldn’t help but think of that scene in Damages where Arthur Frobisher ominously says to Katie Connor, “Our fates are intertwined.”
Those turned out to be prophetic words, but not for the better. With the exception of his Week 8 game against Atlanta (209 total yards, 2 TDs), Westbrook’s numbers have been what sportscasters, who hold no medical degrees, might refer to as “anemic.”
Let’s take a look at his stats over the past 9 weeks:
Week 3: 12 yards (injured in game)
Week 4: DNP
Week 5: 84 total yards, 1 TD
Week 6: DNP
Week 7: Bye
Week 8: 209 yards, 2 TDs
Week 9: 96 yards, 0 TDs
Week 10: 59 yards, 0 TDs
Week 11: 71 yards, 0 TDs
Taking out the bye (but counting the DNPs), Westbrook has been averaging roughly 8 fantasy points a game over his past 8 games. Take out the Week 8 outlier and Westbrook’s average over that stretch falls under 4 fucking fantasy points per game, people. I didn’t realize I was spending the #4 pick on Jerious Norwood.
What a disgrace. On the bright side, our trading deadline hasn’t expired yet. Maybe it’s still not too late to swing that deal for Joseph Addai. Or, at this rate, Kenton Keith. God I’m screwed.
Who Else Do People Hate?
It's a good thing Arizona gave Hightower the job. I'd been waiting all year for that with him stashed on my bench and when he tookover I thought I was ready to rumble. I even traded away Ryan Grant in a deal for Steve Smith to free up a spot starting lineup. Then ol' Tim runs like a little bitch against the Seahawks. It's the fucking Seahawks! What is wrong with you Tim? You don't even score touchdowns anymore. Step your shit up please...
- Josh L., Indianapolis, IN.
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