Karma's a Bitch

I don't know about you, but Mr. T is a big believer in karma. Whether in life or Fantasy Football, karma seems to rear its ugly head all the time. Take for example last year's New England Patriots. For 18 weeks, the Pats ran up the score on various opponents despite the constant pleas of ignorance by Bill Bellichick. "That's wicked nonsense!" the Masshole Patriots fans cried when others would point in disgust at a passing attempt on 4th and 2 with a 35 point lead late in the 4th quarter. It all came back to bite New England and their fans in the ass. They ran into the buzzsaw called the New York Giants and suddenly that undefeated season sputtered and died mercifully in the Arizona desert.

Fantasy football is no different. Over the years, we've encountered karma on numerous occasions in our RexGrossmanIsOurQuarterback league. Previously, one owner was enjoying a tremendous streak of luck. He landed a great new job, laid pipe all over Manhattan, and lived the life of a bonafide superstar. Everything was rosy for him...except his last place 3-11 fantasy team. Two years ago, the league champion struggled to find a job and had his heart mercifully ripped out of his chest by a girl who left him to move to Chicago. At least he could count his winnings to nurse his pain. Finally, a third owner repeatedly had his emotional heart strings toyed with by a member of the opposite sex. The final karmic heartbreak launched him on a late season surge, propelling him to the league title.

We're not kidding here. You better be careful with the ol' beast called karma. This week was no different. At 12:15, NFL Countdown announced Matt Schaub had a hangover. Apparently he'd been on an all night rager with Roy Oswalt, Charlie Sheen, and Bozo the Clown. Mr. T couldn't have been any happier. I was facing Marble Ryan this week and Matt Schaub was in Marble's starting lineup. Marble was on a subway, casually traveling back from his girlfriend's apartment in the outer boroughs. Without cell reception, there was no way he would discover the news and make the lineup change. I could be a good friend and try to call. Maybe he'd be able to make the change on the walk from the Subway to the bar with the 3G software upgrade to his iPhone. But wait...this is fantasy football. Win at all costs! I rejoiced in the fact that Marble was foolish enough to spend his whole weekend in Brooklyn. Such stupidity deserves to be punished, right?

And then Karma knocked on my door and "dropped a New Jersey" on my face. The incompetent Sage Rosenfels couldn't hang on to the football, allowing Marble's other QB, Peyton Manning, to pick up some extra fantasy points. All of my beloved J.T. O'Sullivan's touchdown passes wound up in the hands of Marble owned Isaac Bruce, which in turn neutralized my points. Marble Ryan was getting his fated revenge and there was nothing I could do but drown myself in Hennigans and DVRed Grey's Anatomy.

The fantasy gods, however, did have a little kindness left over for me. You see, if I really wanted to win at all costs, I could've picked up Sage Rosenfels when the news broke. That would've assured Marble Ryan no chance of making the necessary adjustment in our two QB league, where your only free agents options are Browning Nagle, Aaron Brooks, and Alex Van Pelt. Instead, I showed a little compassion and left that window open for him. And that's the first thing that came to mind when Drew Brees' Hail-Mary attempt wound up the arms of of a Vikings defensive back last night. That -2 score adjustment would cost my opponent in another league, rewarding me an unthinkable victory. Nodding my head, I once again saw the importance of karma in fantasy football.