You Know Who You Should Start?

Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – JAX) There are a ton of reasons to love MJD this week. The Jags are coming off the bye. He's going against a Cleveland defense that allows opposing teams to run all over them just so that they never have to watch their shitty offense take the field. The Jaguars also have center Brad Meester back from injury, which should solidify an offensive line previously held together by duct tape, a few sticks of Juicy Fruit, and an unidentified substance supplied by backup center Dennis Norman (we’ll just say it was cream).

Something else to consider: in the RGIQB fantasy league, Jones-Drew is on the team going up against Cousin Bowser, which, given the Italian strongman’s luck, probably means that MJD’s going to go off for 40 points. We don't know what Bowser did to bring on the karma he's been cursed with so far (rumors are that he spent the offseason running over old gypsy women with his car, playing cursed numbers in the lotto, and taking dumps on sacred Indian burial grounds), but I strongly advise jumping on board that gravy train while it’s still rolling.

Any of these facts would be valid reasons to start the diminutive RB with the hyphenated last name, but the main reason I’m giving MJD the start is that I’ve heard from my sources that he took the recent Yom Kippur holiday very seriously as a day of atonement, vowing more consistent fantasy production as well as less mixing of dairy and meat. The day of fasting also had the added bonus of shaving .2 seconds off of his 40 time. All in all, expect a huge game from the newly svelte and converted Mordecai Jones-Drew.

You Know Who Else You Should Start?

Thomas Jones (RB – NYJ) You shouldn't need me to tell you to start any running back who's fortunate enough to be going against my beloved Chiefs, but here it is anyway. As long as he doesn’t pull something during the course of an overly-ambitious TD celebration, you’ll be fine.

Jeff Garcia (QB – TB) You’re not at all excited about starting him, but coming off a 300-yard game and about to face a mess of a Dallas secondary, you have to give Garcia the nod. Expect decent numbers and minimal mistakes.

Vincent Jackson (WR – SD) Chris Chambers is listed as a game-time decision, and if he doesn't play, expect Jackson to put up some big numbers in what promises to be a shootout against the Saints. LDT is still not 100%, and as long as that's the case Rivers is going to be airing it out with abandon. Someone's got to catch some of those passes.

JT O'Sullivan (QB – SF) Everyone's favorite feast-or-famine QB should be in for a good game this week. The Seattle defense is strong against the run and weak against the pass, which will force the 49ers to rely more on JT's arm and less on Frank Gore. There's a good chance JTO will throw at least one pick, but his yardage and TD totals will do more than offset it.

Donnie Avery (WR – STL) The Patriots secondary is an absolute wreck, so much so that I expect even the Rams to be able to throw the ball deep on them. Avery is coming off back-to-back solid games, including last week’s tilt against the Cowboys in which he caught one TD and had a second one called back on a penalty. Steven Jackson looked great last week, but he’s banged up, so even if he plays the Rams will have to rely heavily on the passing game. Unless Belichick for orders a "Code Red" on the opposing quarterback for the second straight week, expect Avery to put up solid numbers and be a suitable bye week fill-in.