Now that we’re half way through the fantasy football regular season, let’s take a look at the teams in the Rex Grossman fantasy league and see how they shaped up to expectations with revised odds. The original review with odds for each team is included in italics. According to league rules, each team must start 2 QBs, 2 RBs, 3 WRs, 1 RB/WR, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 D/ST.Standings
The Slow Eater (5-1-1)
Torry Hallelujah (5-1-1)
Mr. T (4-3)
Michael J. Cox (4-3)
Lafayette Gold (4-3)
Marble Ryan (3-3-1)
Black Irish (2-3-2)
Bruno (3-4)
Steve Stevens (1-5-1)
Cousin Bowser (1-6)
Team: The Chefs 2.0
Owner: The Slow Eater
As it turns out, the Slow Eater’s QBs did have the tremendous upside that Hubie Brown craves. Rodgers and Cutler have been quite spectacular so far. As expected, the true find was Matt Forte, who has performed on par with most first or second round picks. If LT ever gets healthy and Edwards and Boldin live up to their potential, this team could give Hung a run for Top Chef. If only we could watch the games with Padma every week instead of the Slow Eater, then our lives would be complete.
Revised Odds: 7/2
I’m still looking into whether the envelope was frozen, but I’m resigned to letting him walk away with LT as the #1 pick. The QB duo of Aaron Rodgers and Jay Cutler only produced a combined 3700 yards and 21 TDs last year, but when you take into account the fact that John Mayer lined up under center more than Rodgers last year, there’s room for tremendous upside potential. Someone get Hubie Brown! I’m not sold on MJD, though. After he has one of his 5 carries for 12 yards games, the Slow Eater is going to be doing more screaming than Gordon Ramsay.
Odds: 13/2
Team: Full Retard
Owner Black Irish
After playing Take Five and finding a little bit of luck, Black Irish fell backwards into two lucky ties due to Monday Night meltdowns. AD has been healthy so far and Steve Smith has proven to be a fourth round bargain. Kyle Orton has been a better pickup than the 23-year-old with the low-cut shirt. With some health, he might stay out of the cellar, but the playoffs don’t seem realistic.
Revised Odds: 13-1
The enthusiasm with which Black Irish expressed his selection of Jeff Garcia in Round 8 says it all: this team’s in trouble. Can AD stay healthy for a full season? Getting Steve Smith in Round 4 seems like a bargain, but will he be consistent? How long will it be before Fasano finds himself on the waiver wire? With a bench thinner than the Olsen twins, Full Retard is one injury away from the ER. At least Mary Kate is good at working the phones after a tragedy.
Odds: 11-1
Team: Basketball on Grass
Owner: Lafayette Gold
When your picks in rounds 1, 3, and 4 are injured, that’s not a sign of prosperity. Bush outlasted Kim Kardashian on Dancing with the Stars, but now he’s hurt. The WRs did prove to be the strength of the team. You don't need to be the Mentalist to notice a lack of healthy explosive talent on the roster. With the injuries and the lack of playmakers, the bottom could drop out on this team real fast.
Revised Odds: 12-1
When people are openly wondering whether Reggie Bush will score more TDs than the number of weeks Kim Kardashian will last on Dancing With the Stars, your RB situation is a tad questionable. If Moss and Galloway start needing the medical staff, it could be a long season for the man with the golden gun.
Odds: 10-1
Team: The KL Crew
Owner: Torry Hallelujah
Brandon Marshall has left the gun-slinging to his QB and it's resulted in a very productive season for the WR thus far. The hamstring injury did prove to be an issue for Grant. Outside of his 4 TD game, Ronnie has been solid, but not spectacular. Torry Hallelujah might need to trade some of his team’s depth to secure more talent at QB, but this well rounded bunch isn’t going away.
Revised Odds: 4-1
While our man of faith was lucky to see Westbrook fall to #4 overall and Ryan Grant to #17, this backfield carries a significant injury risk, especially with Grant. Just ask Tyson Homosexual how a hamstring injury can affect your career. Assault, disorderly conduct, domestic violence, DUI, and a traffic violation – that’s not Pacman Jones’s rap sheet, it’s Brandon Marshall’s. That tally will cost him one game, plus counseling. God bless America.
Odds: 7-1
Team: Cousin Bowser
Owner: Cousin Bowser
Perhaps naming his team after a legendary video game villain wasn't the best idea. It's unclear whether the Italian strongman used his mob connections to have Bernard Pollard take out Brady's knees in retaliation for not having the chance to draft the QB in Round 1. We'd advise TO to switch to Garrett's Popcorn because whatever brand he's using right now isn't getting the job done. If he weren’t too focused on improving his max on the bench, Bowser might've traded one of his three quality QBs by now. There’s talent to get off the basement, he just needs to find some positive karma.
Revised Odds: 30-1
The Italian strongman is more known for brawn than brains, and it showed when he was talked out of making Tom Brady his #1 pick at the draft table. The Jackson-Owens combo should provide CB’s popcorn with all the butter it needs, though. It’s a shame that McNabb doesn’t have anyone to throw to, not that he could throw accurately if he did. Maybe it’s time for him to switch from Campbell’s Chunky to Progresso – it worked for Steamin’ Willie Beamon.
Odds: 10-1
Team: Luv2LikBalz@jack.com
Owner: Michael J. Cox
An invite to join the cast of “95 and Still Banging: The Return” kept Michael J. Cox away from making the necessary early season adjustments to his bench. Unfortunately Derek Anderson has taken such a liking to Brady Quinn's photos that he's lost the accuracy in his passes. He'll need consistency from Turner, Bowe, and Jamal to see some victories going forward. Maybe karma’s on his side, but the lack of depth has caused us to wonder if he’ll even sniff the playoffs.
Revised Odds: 23-1
After watching his fate ride on the shoulders of Jake Delhomme and Matt Leinart during previous seasons, Michael J. Cox was left with no choice but to draft Giselle’s boy toy with the #6 pick. Looking to solidify Derek Anderson’s status as the starter in Cleveland, Cox posted this photo of Brady Quinn on his personal blog. With a starting receiving corps consisting of Lee Evans, D-Bowe, and Kevin Curtis, though, Cox might need to take a shot in the mouth to pull off a trade for a top-flight WR.
Odds: 9-1
Team: The A-Team
Owner: Mr. T
Mr. T is still riding high after Wynona Ryder's advice to steal Barber and Witten, but Holt might as well be returned for store credit. Coach Janky Spanky has proven to be the best RB in fantasy football, but the QB situation is showing the softness of Blake Lively's cellulite-ridden thighs. With some depth and three trades in the bag, is he done dealing? He might not be the favorite anymore, but Mr. T’s certainly going to be a factor with a few more tricks up his sleeve.
Revised Odds: 9/2
The defending champs should've been arrested for grand larceny after the draft for stealing Barber, Holt, and Witten. Favre and Schaub are both question marks at QB, as one will battle age and learning a new offense while the other will have to hope he can stay on the field. In a 2 QB league, they’re a risk, but if they come through, this draft could be a dunk from the foul line.
Odds: 5-1
Team: 2Girls1Cup
Owner: Steve Stevens
A more appropriate team name might have been 2Guys1Horse as Steve Stevens' team might as well be left for dead after a 1-5-1 start. Without a horse cock to the colon to put him out of his misery, Steve will look to his strong receiving core of Andre, Calvin, DJax, and Vinny to save him from the cellar. The team is led by Drew Brees, but how far can he take them? Like Cousin Bowser’s squad, this team isn’t that bad.
Revised Odds: 10-1
After bagging Moss in Round 1 and two guys named Johnson with his fourth and fifth picks, Mr. Stevens has the league’s best receiving corps. But will all the rookies (Kevin Smith, Jonathan Stewart, DeSean Jackson) pan out? A better name for this team might be 3Youths1Prayer. Also, will Private Kellen Winslow wrap up his promotional tour for Tropic Thunder in time to take the field for Week 1?
Odds: 5-1
Team: Wo Ai Beijing
Owner: Marble Ryan
Marble Ryan's loins now crave explosivity as he actively searches the trade market for breakout talent. A few trades have shaken up his squad, but this finance maven sells on fear like the rest of Wall Street. Thankfully Ben Bernanke has provided a calming influence to keep Marble above water. Fitzgerald and Jennings have proven to the best 1-2 combination at WR. It’s a competitive bunch, but it lacks some star power. He should be able to keep the playoff streak alive, but I'm not willing to take a shit in a box and mark it guaranteed.
Revised Odds: 6-1
Marc Bulger spent more time on his back last year than Paris Hilton. Will the offense in St. Louis reemerge? Selvin Young’s slim-at-the-waist build might stir some passion in Marble Ryan’s loins, but will he be able to hold onto the starting job in Denver with Mike Shana-tan pulling the strings? Here’s hoping SY likes hanging from a string. Should Frank Costanza have gone with “The Bro” or “The Manzier?” Just ask Sid Farkas, bra salesman extraordinaire…and backup RB of the Oakland Raiders.
Odds: 8-1
Team: McCord Blows
Owner: Bruno
Bruno has discovered that Air Martz provides a plane without snakes for Frank Gore. After taking some time off from wrestling college students on the beaches of Miami, Bruno was able to flip Julius Jones for Randy Moss, which could prove future returns. He'll have to fight Jessica to get Tony back on the field to engineer a playoff push with the solid core of players on his roster.
Revised Odds: 7-1
Bruno, the most fabulous RG fantasy league competitor, seemed to draft with only his team photograph in mind. Bruno went with Romo and Rivers at QB because he thought they were face guys. Thankfully they can also sling the rock. He’ll hope for good chemistry with Favre & Coles. He always likes a good tight end. Finally, he hopes that Frank Gore rides Air Martz and rides it well.
Odds: 9-1
No comments:
Post a Comment