The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week

The opportunity to reap huge profits on a weekly basis is one of the most appealing aspects of football and, let's be honest, the American Way of Life. That's why every Friday, Marble Ryan will offer up The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week, an under-the-radar, sure-fire NFL pick backed by his proprietary insight. But be forewarned: we in no way advise you to actually take this pick to your local bookkeeper; in fact, we recommend against it. After all, if you hear a cold metallic tap on your door late at night, we're not going to be there to bail you out. But if you want a peek into the pre-eminent football mind of an entire generation, look no further.

It's Week 1 of our 2008 NFL adventure, and the new season is like a pair of dice flying through the air towards a Vegas craps table as onlookers gasp, intoxicated with a combination of anxiety, excitement, fear, and greed. Surprise is the only guarantee, though, and with that in mind I've decided to take an inordinate risk to kick off the campaign.

The city of San Francisco will have a barn-burner on its hands when the high-flying Cardinals come to town this weekend to square off against the hometown Niners. New Niners offensive coordinator Mike Martz will feel right at home in the City by the Bay, as his brand of finesse football has always been homo-friendly (I recall Tedy Bruschi referring to the St. Louis Rams offense as "totally gay" at the media day before Super Bowl XXXVI). And just like Alexander the Great's unstoppable march to Asia, it's the gayness of Martz's attack that makes it so difficult to defense. If anyone can turn J.T. O'Sullivan into a viable QB it's Martz, who discovered Kurt Warner at a milk bottle toss stand at a county fair in rural Iowa and transformed the flat-topped journeyman into the greatest QB that the NFL has ever seen over a four-year period.

As for the Cardinals, the song remains the same. Just like every summer dating back to 2004, there's been a lot of talk about how they're primed for a playoff run, but deep down, we all know they still suck. Arizona's sieve of a defense has no answer for the revamped Niners playbook, so lock up the home doggies to win outright at Candlestick this Sunday and enjoy the fireworks.

San Francisco +2.5 vs. Arizona