Week 16 Podcast: It's All Over Now

In the season finale of the weekly podcast, Marble Ryan joins host Torry Hallelujah to discuss Wo Ai Beijing's chances at winning the RGIOQB league title and to preview the 2009 fantasy draft.

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The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week

What a tough break for Michael J. Cox. By my calculation, I'm now up four games on my gambling nemesis, who for some reason volunteered to throw caution to the wind and take the other side of whatever bet I choose. What would drive him to something so reckless and foolhardy? Was he simply trying to take one for the team and incentivize me to make the best possible pick, and thus have RGIOQB put forth the best possible product? I don't know and frankly I don't really care, just as long as he shows up at the end of the season with that sweet green cheddar.

As the wins pile up, I grow bolder. I'm not interested in the easy swipe of Cox's cash. Any idiot can pick against the Bengals every week. No, I want Cox to wake up on Monday morning and think, "Damn, I never would've picked that game. I guess Marble is just plain better than me. Now I'm gonna need to do three passenger seat jack-off scenes a week just to pay him off." For Week 15, I have just the pick that's sure to get exactly that response.

Last week, the Cowboys and Giants both endured heart-wrenching losses. The Giants took us back to 2004 with a woeful performance against the Eagles, and though the 'Boys were leading the Steelers for virtually the entire second half, Dallas fans had their hearts ripped out as Pittsburgh scored two TDs in the last 5 minutes to steal the win. Now, the question is which one of these teams has the moxie to come back a week later, pick themselves off the mat and get that crucial W. I don't think I'm alone in observing that no one's got more moxie than the boys in blue. This is a gut check game, and probably the only situation in which you'll ever hear someone say that the rotund Wade Phillips does not have the requisite amount of gut. I like the Giants to win outright in Dallas, kill the Cowboys' playoff hopes, and easily cover the 3.5 points Vegas is handing them. Don't strain your wrist, Cox.

The Pick: New York (+3.5) over DALLAS

Season record: 7-5 (8-6 with Michael J. Cox's assistance)

Every Friday, Marble Ryan will offer up The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week, an under-the-radar, sure-fire NFL pick backed by his proprietary insight. But be forewarned: we in no way advise you to actually take this pick to your local bookkeeper; in fact, we recommend against it. After all, if you hear a cold metallic tap on your door late at night, we're not going to be there to bail you out. But if you want a peek into the pre-eminent football mind of an entire generation, look no further.
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Week 15 Podcast: "That's what happens when you attack a job with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind."

Host Torry Hallelujah returns to the podcast after a brief hiatus to join Marble Ryan to discuss this week's Marble Lock, the NFL playoff picture, and provide a look at next week's 2009 Draft Preview.

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The Name Game

In honor of the segment of the same name on ESPN’s Fantasy Football Focus podcast, we’ve decided to take this Tuesday afternoon to have a little nominal fun of our own. The Name Game forces you to make a decision about which player you’d rather own from now until the end of the season. Standard scoring is assumed for all comparisons. Unfortunately we don’t have a fancy drop, so let’s go straight to our experts’ opinions.

Donovan McNabb or Matt Ryan?

Marble Ryan: McNabb probably won't have a game like the one he was benched in for the rest of the year, but I think Ryan still has less risk. Ryan has been very consistent and in playoff time, that's what you need.

The Slow Eater: You don't want your QB to shit the bed in the playoffs, and with McNabb there's a decent chance of that. I’ll go Ryan.

Bruno: Ryan’s facing Tampa/Minnesota, but he wins out because he's got more weapons, especially “Rowdy” Roddy White. McNabb may have the softer schedule, but I wouldn't trust my playoff run behind a guy who could be out of a job in a few months


Frank Gore or Steve Slaton?

Marble Ryan: Gore is slowing down, but I think if he's gotten you to this point, you can't abandon him. Slaton's stock is pretty high in keeper leagues though.

The Slow Eater: Slaton has run for over 100 yards in 3 of his past 4 games. Gore has only broken 100 once in his past 7. Go with the hot hand.

Bruno: Slaton’s more likely to find paydirt and has better games through the air than Gore, who doesn't carry the ball as much in Martz's O. Look at Gore's last four games to tell the tale: 18 carries, 14, 24, 14.


Antonio Bryant or Kevin Walter?

The Slow Eater: Bryant just blew his load for the rest of the year. With Schaub back, Walter should see plenty of targets as the #2 WR in Houston.

Marble Ryan: Again, I’ll go with consistency. With Schaub back, Walter's the safer choice.

Bruno: It’s Bryant by a longshot. He's the outright #1 receiver in Tampa (Joey who?) and will be facing Atlanta and San Diego, who can't exactly stop a pass these days. Walter's got Andre 3000 to deal with and is the second or third red zone option.

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Week 14 Podcast: "He dislocated his freedom"

Marble Ryan joins guest host Mr. T in discussing the recent NFL suspensions, the emergence of Domenik Hixon, and their upcoming faceoff in Week 14.

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The Name Game

In honor of the segment of the same name on ESPN’s Fantasy Football Focus podcast, we’ve decided to take this Tuesday afternoon to have a little nominal fun of our own. The Name Game forces you to make a decision about which player you’d rather own from now until the end of the season. Standard scoring is assumed for all comparisons. Unfortunately we don’t have a fancy drop, so let’s go straight to our experts’ opinions.

Shaun Hill vs. Jason Campbell?

Marble Ryan: There's a reason why J.T. O’Sullivan could've gotten his owner a legit starting running back in a trade after 4 weeks of the year. You gotta ride Air Martz as often as possible. I believe in Shaun Hill.

The Slow Eater: It's not even close. Hill has thrown multiple TDs in 3 of the last 4 games. Campbell hasn't had a game with more then 1 TD since week 4.

Torry Hallelujah: I like Campbell, but the Skins will probably go with a pretty conservative game plan from here on out. Plus, he has weather to deal with. As far as Hill goes, anyone who can turn Vernon Davis into a legit fantasy player has my respect.


Reggie Bush or Ronnie Brown?

The Slow Eater: They're both in time shares now and Brown has proven himself healthy. Until Bush shows he's 100%, he's behind Brown.

Marble Ryan: I'm not convinced Reggie Bush can come all the way back to where he was before he missed time, and Pierre Thomas is looking like just as much of a vulture as Ricky Williams has been. Let’s go with Brown.

Torry Hallelujah: 100 yards and 1 TD seems like it is Brown’s absolute ceiling (whereas Bush's is much higher), but you've got to go with Brown’s health at this time of year.


Vincent Jackson or Domenik Hixon?

Marble Ryan: Vincent Jackson puts up way too many zeros in that weird San Diego passing situation. Somehow the QB is a top 5 fantasy performer, but none of the receivers are worth starting week to week. Hixon looks like he'll be getting most of Plax's targets.

The Slow Eater: Every game in which Hixon’s gotten playing time he's delivered. I can't say the same for Jackson.

Torry Hallelujah: With Plax out of the lineup, Hixon seems like a no-brainer.
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Scouts’ Take: In which we discuss the prosperity of Jay Cutler, the fall of Matt Cassel, and Marble Ryan's ability to tell the future

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after blowing all our savings buying electronics on Black Friday, we had to fire them all. In their place are Black Irish, Marble Ryan, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 12 action.

Mr. T: Can we stop the Matt Cassel bandwagon now that he's played a good defense? Let's not kick Brady out of New England just yet. Cassel looked pretty average this week. Cutler meanwhile, who a bunch of you thought was worse off than Cassel going forward, looked pretty good yesterday against what was supposed to be a tough Jets defense. And Favre sucks, that interception down the left sideline was fucking atrocious.

Steve Stevens: Can we get a breakdown of who actually thought Cassel > Cutler?

Black Irish: I was in the tank for Cassel.

Mr. T: http://rexgrossmanisourquarterback.blogspot.com/2008/11/name-game_25.html

Marble Ryan: The Jets pass D couldn't be that good, considering the difference in Cassel performances between the last Jets game and yesterday's Steelers game.

Mr. T: The whole thing was a debacle yesterday. The second ranked Jets run defense made Peyton Hillis look like everything you hoped Mike Bell would ever be. And the Broncos used a series of screens and short pass plays to take away the Jets 3rd ranked pass rush. It was good game planning by Shana-tan, which makes you wonder how they lost to the Raiders.

Torry Hallelujah: Barring any flight delays, I should see everyone at 8:30 to deliver the eulogy for my 2008 fantasy football season.

Steve Stevens: Torry Hallelujah's second half nosedive is hard to watch...

Mr. T: It's actually pretty easy to watch for the rest of us. We could have a 4 team, 2 playoff spot situation coming up next week...

Marble Ryan: Meanwhile, take a look at what some former residents of Beijing are doing lately. Tom Jones and DeAngelo Williams are like the two best RBs in fantasy right now. Marble Ryan - the pre-eminent football mind of his generation. I will continue to defend the Tom Jones trade because it collected me wins that I wouldn't have gotten starting another QB. But, the DeAngelo for Kevin Smith trade is looking pretty atrocious.

Black Irish: Marble, you should really stay away from Lions running backs. All we heard the past two years was about your bullishness on Kevin Jones, and look how that turned out.

Mr. T: The #2 scoring RB in fantasy football is none other than Thomas Jones. Marble, what was that you were saying 3 weeks ago about you ripping me off in that trade? DeAngelo Williams is the #5 scoring RB. That trade was terrible. How in God's name are you the pre-eminent football mind of your generation if you’re trading away such players?

Marble Ryan: I'm the pre-eminent mind because I drafted those guys. I just had an emergency situation at the QB position that forced me to unload Jones, and I was too impatient to wait around for DeAngelo to pan out. Being impatient has cost me seasons before, but this time it just cost me a little margin of victory.

Mr. T: That's such nonsense because you were down on both guys when you traded them. Drafting them doesn't mean squat if you trade them away so easily. Your pre-eminence holds to all your decision making and that includes trading them away. It also includes what you thought about Kevin Smith, who I don't think will be scoring 4 TDs in a game anytime soon. Here’s a quote from September 9th.

Marble Ryan: I wasn’t going to trade Tom Jones for just anything. Its not like I
wanted to dump him at any cost, I just think he has limited upside – and still
do. He’ll be a solid RB2, but I need some more explosivity in my life.

Marble Ryan: Speaking of Tom Jones, anyone see that piece about his "physique" on NFL Countdown yesterday? That was hands down the gayest moment in ESPN history, easily beating anything that ever happened when they used to show figure skating. I thought Jones was going to start dancing in a thong, which would've gone straight into the Mr. T DVR spank bank.

Mr. T: Thomas Jones vs. SF in Week 14. Mr. T vs. Marble Ryan in Week 14. Just saying...

Mr. T: Btw, can we get a cheer for the Ken Dorsey era in Cleveland starting this weekend at Tennessee? Woo!

Steve Stevens: I don't even think Miami fans should make that "Woo!" His arm strength is embarrassing.

Marble Ryan: Maybe it's a positive for Braylon Edwards - Dorsey's feather-balls should be easier to catch.

Mr. T: I meant woo in terms of the better propositions. Marble’s lock of the week should be betting against Dorsey every week. Although Marble has correctly locked it up the last three weeks. Maybe Michael J. Cox should start getting scared...
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The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week

The results speak for themselves: putting Michael J. Cox on the other side of my bets, regardless of whether he agrees with them or not, has taken the Lock to the level of brilliance we expected from the get go. Last week, even Cox himself had to nod his head in capitulation when I handed my loyal readers the lock of the millennium. I don't really know what Vegas was thinking taking points away from the Chargers against a streaking Colts team.

The result begs the question: is there a flaw in the picking system at RGIOQB.com? I mean, I can't help but feel bad for Cox, who's at quite a disadvantage stuck putting his money against the expert prognostications formulated at the Marble Institute. He's got no choices, no defenses, and no control. So, in the interest of fairness, I think we can experiment in Week 13 with a pick that might not be the most obvious choice; something that won't have Cox so worried that he can't get it up for the big scene in Butt Busters 17 he'll be filming on Saturday afternoon.

This weekend the Broncos will visit the Meadowlands, gasping for air and drawing a red hot Jets team. Cutler has looked very average over the past few weeks, and I think we can all agree that Denver's pathetic running back situation is likely to go to zero against the Jets improving run D. A Jets win won't be a surprise to anyone, although a Jets loss wouldn't be a surprise to Jets fans. I'm not a Jets fan, but Vegas and I are in agreement that the Broncos will head back to Denver with one more notch in the L column. However, let's not forget that this team is a likely division champion, and coach Shanahan no doubt has some tricks up his sleeve for this potential playoff preview.

Are you comfortable with the notion of a Jets win by more than a TD? 7.5 points sounds a little steep to me. Favre is due for a down game, and Cutler is due for a good one. Look for Thomas Jones to single handedly win the game despite Favre's best efforts to blow it. This game has the makings to be one of the most exciting of the season. I'm looking for the Jets to pull out the win in a shootout with lots of big plays and lots of mistakes. The Broncos might not be winning this week, but they are paying, so lock it up for an under the radar money maker.

The Pick: Denver +7.5 @ NEW YORK

Season record: 5-5 (6-6 with Michael J. Cox's assistance)

Every Friday, Marble Ryan will offer up The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week, an under-the-radar, sure-fire NFL pick backed by his proprietary insight. But be forewarned: we in no way advise you to actually take this pick to your local bookkeeper; in fact, we recommend against it. After all, if you hear a cold metallic tap on your door late at night, we're not going to be there to bail you out. But if you want a peek into the pre-eminent football mind of an entire generation, look no further.
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Week 13 Podcast: "Anybody can catch staph infections in Cleveland these days..."

Marble Ryan joins guest host Mr. T in discussing Donovan McNabb, the Browns offense, and Thursday's Thanksgiving games.

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The Name Game

In honor of the segment of the same name on ESPN’s Fantasy Football Focus podcast, we’ve decided to take this Tuesday afternoon to have a little nominal fun of our own. The Name Game forces you to make a decision about which player you’d rather own from now until the end of the season. Standard scoring is assumed for all comparisons. Unfortunately we don’t have a fancy drop, so let’s go straight to our experts’ opinions.

Matt Cassel or Jay Cutler?

Marble Ryan: As good as Cassel has looked, I'd put my money on Cutler because of his talent. The supporting casts are a wash — I just think Cutler is the more capable athlete.

Black Irish: I’ll go with Cassel because it seems he's finally in sync with Moss. I buy what he's selling when he says he has been adjusting to game speed. He's been getting second team reps for years and now is finally seeing full first team reps and full game action. Compare this to guys like Matt Ryan and it makes sense he's hitting his stride now.

The Slow Eater: I know Cutler’s coming off a shitty game and Cassel just had a great one, but I still trust Cutler more. I also think opposing defenses are now going to be more prepared to not let Cassel beat them.

Steve Stevens: This is a tough one. I'm still not sold on Cassel, but Cutler is starting to look like monkey shit. Based on talent alone though, I'd stick with Cutler.

Torry Hallelujah: It’s Cassel and I don't think it's close.


Steve Slaton or DeAngelo Williams?

Black Irish: I’ll take Slaton. I like his big play ability.

The Slow Eater: I agree with Black Irish. I’m going with explosivity.

Steve Stevens: DeAngelo all the way on this one. Jonathan Stewart is hurt and it shows. How is DeAngelo Williams not explosive?

Marble Ryan: Anyone who says DeAngelo Williams is not explosive hasn't been watching football since October. This is the one that isn't even close — Williams is more talented, is on a better team, and has been playing better.

Torry Hallelujah: Williams has really impressed me this year. In each of his past four games, he's gone over 100 yards and scored at least once. I also wouldn't want to be counting on a rookie RB late in the season, even if he didn't exactly get a ton of early season carries.


Braylon Edwards or Laveranues Coles?

Marble Ryan: Edwards is the most disappointing player in fantasy this year, but
Coles has disappeared just as often. Again, I go with talent.

Black Irish: Uh, are you serious here? Braylon couldn't catch a beach ball if he wanted to. Plus he's got either Derek Anderson or a gimpy Brady Quinn throwing him the ball. It’s Coles hands down.

The Slow Eater: Even with all his drops, Braylon is getting a ton of targets per game. They're going to keep throwing him the ball because they know he's their best offensive weapon. You can't count on Coles to consistently put of points.

Steve Stevens: This is another tough one. Both are erratic but can put up major points any given week. Because Favre is playing great football, I'd go with Laveranues.

Torry Hallelujah: Please, gentlemen. The answer is Braylon — the guy just gets too many targets.
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Scouts’ Take: In which we discuss the exceedingly mediocre Donovan McNabb, the RGIOQB playoff race, and the NFL MVP candidates

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after blowing all our savings on a Toyota Corolla with 0% financing, we had to fire them all. In their place are Bruno, Marble Ryan, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, the Slow Eater, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 12 action.

Mr. T: So, do we think this is the end of the road for Donovan McNabb? At 5-6-1, the Eagles are still not completely out of the playoff run. Benching the dude at halftime really sends a message, especially when you're not getting blown out. Add the fact that Westbrook obviously is less than 75%, and it might be time to close the book on that Eagles offense. At least Cousin Bowser can turn to Shaun Hill, who, typical of a Mike Martz quarterback, has been effective for fantasy purposes since becoming the starter.

Marble Ryan: McNabb is done. Reid can't go back on his decision. McNabb on another team next year is a foregone conclusion, and they're not winning the Super Bowl, so they might as well get Kolb in there now and see what he can do. He looked pretty bad yesterday, too, though. A more interesting question is what kind of interest does McNabb get in the offseason? He's not very good, but I feel like someone is going to pay him way too much money.

Mr. T: Minnesota would sign him up right now. Some other teams would be on that line too. Kolb's basically a rookie, so you can't have any expectations for his play. Not everyone is as seasoned as Matt Ryan, with the ability to step in there and produce right away. If Kolb starts the rest of the season, we're talking about a major downgrade to DeSean Jackson and Kevin Curtis. Buckhalter sprained a knee ligament this week, so he's probably out for a little while. They might just shut down Westbrook too.

Steve Stevens: Lafayette Gold pulls out another win. The guy just knows how to win.

Marble Ryan: The Slow Eater’s karma play actually worked. Looks like the A-Team and KL Crew are neutralized, no matter who wins tonight.

Mr. T: The Slow Eater should strop worrying about Lafayette. Now that he's made the Brooklyn move official, his team's karma is about to go down the toilet. Watch Rodgers blow the game for him this week. By the way, if things hold this week, Lafayette beats the Slow Eater next week and Michael J. beats Marble Ryan, Lafayette jumps to 9-5 and takes over first place. I'm not sure I can live in a world where Basketball on Grass is a first place team...

The Slow Eater: I'm worried that finally getting an apartment might have killed my karma, although I think the change in my team's fortune's can be traced back to three weeks ago when I dropped Matt Cassel and he immediately turned into Kurt Warner.

Mr. T: Yeah that turned out to be pretty stupid, although I doubt you would've started Cassel over Rodgers or Cutler in any week. Cutler does look like crap from time to time. He needs to get his head in check because I see him complaining way too much. If the Raiders get under your skin, that's not a good sign for your mental stability.

Marble Ryan: Ever since Cutler made that comment about having a stronger arm than John Elway, his season has gone downhill and he hasn't done jack. Talk about bad karma.

Mr. T: Meanwhile, D-Mac looked rather explosive yesterday. He might finally be healthy. Fargas couldn't get moving down there near the goal line. We might be seeing more of D-Mac in these final few weeks. Shame he can't slot in at WR, or else it'd help the A-Team.

Marble Ryan: D-Mac could put up numbers like he did against Kentucky and it still wouldn't change the fact that the Z-Team will be watching the playoffs from the Carl Farbman chair.

Mr. T: Life's not over for Mr. T's A-Team just yet. A Steve Stevens win over Michael J. puts me one game out of the playoffs. Unfortunately Bowser couldn't take care of things on his end with Lafayette or we'd truly be alive. I ain't dead. And importantly for Mr. T's portfolio, I've got 2 playoff guarantees in other leagues and another knocking on the door, thus leaving the possibility of another net positive year on the table.

Mr. T: Eddie Royal had another explosive WR3 day. 14 yards on two catches is one hell of a day.

Marble Ryan: I think Nnamdi was covering him yesterday. Royal dropped a 45-yard diving grab that would've helped him out, but I blame the past two weeks on Cutler's shitty play. I think I'd be 1-3 without the trade versus 4-0 with it, so you can kiss my balls.

Mr. T: He wasn't guarded by Nnamdi. Nnamdi drew Marshall most of the game, but there were times when certain receivers were moved around the field, so Nnamdi switched off. At least that’s what the report said. Your trade only worked out because of the karma, which led to the injuries of Schaub and McGahee. Those aren't things that could've been predicted unless you had a DeLorean in your garage.

Mr. T: Someone get Steve and Bruno a few shots of Jameson after that Randy Moss 3 TD game this week...

Bruno: Fuck Karma! She is a dirty whore.

Cousin Bowser: Will someone please explain to me what I have going on for me that's so great as to warrant my team going 2-75 this season and playing 6 weekly winners?

Marble Ryan: You're just living the dream, Bowser.

Mr. T: Here’s a list of reasons why your fantasy karma is terrible:

1. You work for a company that has laid off thousands and you're still there
2. If that goes wrong you have a Jersey City job in your back pocket
3. You report to guys in Singapore and Hong Kong
4. You showed up to work at 12 last week after accidentally sleeping late and basically run your own schedule
5. You finally got to lay Spoons, twice, fulfilling a lifelong dream

Mr. T: After Manning's performance last night, I think the MVP race is really heating up. The Cardinals and the Colts now have the same record at 7-4. Where would the Colts be without Manning? 2-9? His numbers still aren't great, but now that he's healthy, it's all coming around. He's got 9 TDs and 1 INT in his last 4 games. With games against Cleveland, Cincy, Detroit, Jacksonville, and Tennessee remaining, he'll be able to put up good enough numbers to be competitive. The Colts will probably finish at 11-5 or 12-4. His team would be in really rough shape if he weren’t involved. That's why he's the most "valuable."

Torry Hallelujah: I’m starting to agree — I think a lot of guys could put up numbers in the Arizona offense. Anytime Sports Guy comes out and basically says, “There’s no question — Peyton Manning is the NFL MVP,” you have to give it some thought.

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The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week

It's been a long hiatus for the Marble lock. Luckily, Michael J. Cox has been making his own disastrous picks while I've been gone, which has kept the money flowing in. While I spent three weeks at an undisclosed location rehabbing Tony Romo's pinky, Cox went a very unimpressive 1-1, which under our new system (link—do we have a post that explains the new system?) means that I was the proud owner of a tidy 67% winning percentage in absentia.

Now, I'm back in control and ready to reverse the horrible results I delivered while in the driver's seat. Lucky for you all, the muse has been generous to me this week, and I have several picks for those brave enough to come strong amidst a harrowing economic backdrop. Unfortunately, the rules state that Cox will only bet against one of my picks, so we'll start with the game I feel most comfortable with.

Since the bye, Indianapolis is a very quiet 5-2 and has averaged nearly 25 points per game. With the exception of the Giants and Titans, the Colts are arguably the hottest team in the lig right now. Moreover, it is without argument that Peyton Manning is the lig's hottest player, with 7 TDs and 0 picks over the past three weeks.

On Sunday, the Colts head into San Diego, home to one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL. Manning and Marble both smell blood. The line varies for this one, but my bookman is offering the Colts +2.5, and I'll happily take him up on that. If you can get the same, I suggest you pull the trigger, with the forecast in normally sunny San Diego calling for an overcast of Peyton Manning TD bombs all afternoon.

The Pick: Indianapolis -2.5 @ SAN DIEGO

If you've got some extra scratch, I also like the Pats (Even) to keep up the streak of not losing to the same team twice in Miami and the Redskins (-3) to steamroll the home Seahawks, whose coach has all but admitted he's playing for the #1 pick.

Season record: 4-5 (5-6 with Michael J. Cox's assistance)

Every Friday, Marble Ryan will offer up The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week, an under-the-radar, sure-fire NFL pick backed by his proprietary insight. But be forewarned: we in no way advise you to actually take this pick to your local bookkeeper; in fact, we recommend against it. After all, if you hear a cold metallic tap on your door late at night, we're not going to be there to bail you out. But if you want a peek into the pre-eminent football mind of an entire generation, look no further.
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Week 12 Podcast: "I was convinced I was the only one who understood the value of Mookie Blaylock."

Marble Ryan returns to join Torry Hallelujah in discussing the RGIOQB league, Warrick Dunn as a starting RB, and Marble's first ever fantasy trade.

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The Name Game

In honor of the segment on ESPN’s Fantasy Football Focus podcast, we took this Tuesday afternoon to have a little fun of our own. The Name Game forces you to make a decision on which player you’d rather own from now until the rest of the season. Standard scoring is assumed for all comparisons. Unfortunately we don’t have a fancy drop, so let’s go straight to our experts’ opinions.

Tyler Thigpen (QB – KC) or Eli Manning (QB – NYG)

Marble Ryan: I’ll go with Thigpen. It’s crazy I know, but Eli still hasn't proven he can be a fantasy stud when it gets chilly. Thigpen has Oak, Den, and SD coming up on the schedule.

Black Irish: I agree with Thigpen for the same reasoning as Marble. Since their bye week, he's thrown 8 touchdowns and 1 interception. That’s not too shabby if you ask me.

The Slow Eater: Thigpen continues to be good and the Giants run the ball too damn well for Eli to put up big points in most weeks. Thigpen, however, is going to throw the ball 40 times a game, so he’s the one I’d choose.

Steve Stevens: I don't believe in Tyler Thigpen.


Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG) or Matt Forte (RB – CHI)

Marble Ryan: I’ll take Jacobs here. Take a look at his numbers from the last few games in 2007. Late in the season, Coughlin loves to inflict a little pain with the big guy. If you're in the finals hunt, check his #s from Week 16 last year...

Black Irish: It’s Jacobs hands down. Forte has seen the end zone just twice since Week 7, and only one of those was a rushing touchdown

The Slow Eater: As much as it pains me, I guess I have to go with Jacobs because of his TD totals. I do think it's closer than people think, though. Forte puts up solid point totals even in weeks which he doesn't score because of his receiving skills. Jacobs’ value, however, is solely based on whether he finds the end zone or not. But he's been finding the end zone enough lately, so that doesn't matter.

Steve Stevens: What about the issue of Brandon Jacobs possibly not playing this week? For missing one week alone, I've gotta go with Forte.


Hines Ward (WR – PIT) or Lee Evans (WR – BUF)

Marble Ryan: Hines Ward is the answer. The winds are picking up in Buffalo, and Trent Edwards looks like he wants to go back to Cali. Hines will play till he's 40.

Black Irish: It’s Ward simply because Lee can go from a solid game to being completely invisible. At least Ward will give you fairly consistent yardage.

The Slow Eater: I’d lean to Evans. This one is pretty much a tossup so I'd go with the more talented receiver. Before his past 2 games of over 100 yards, Ward had 2 straight games with yards totals in the 30s. Either one can disappear for a game, but I think Evans has more upside.

Steve Stevens: The Steelers are going to be fighting for the division, and the Bills are falling apart. The weather is shit in both cities, but at least the Steelers have shown they can successfully function in bad weather. Plus Trent Edwards is starting to look like Shaun King.
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Scout's Take: In which we discuss fantasy karma, the lowest scoring team in the RGIOQB league, and Tim Hightower's decline

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after Goldman Sachs cut our bonuses, we had to fire them all. In their place are Black Irish, Lafayette Gold, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 11 action.

Mr. T: Eddie Royal had 34 receiving yards. That's the kind of consistency I'm looking for. Randy Moss had 26 yards and a TD. Tony Romo had 150 yards, 1 TD, and 2 INTs. Sammy Morris looked really great in warm-ups. Larry Fitzgerald had 10 catches for 151 yards. He's terrible. Thankfully for Marble, McGahee is entrenched in the East Coast version of the Denver Running Back Situation.

Steve Stevens: Also note that Julius Jones had -1 points. Bruno completely ripped me off in this trade, and I'd like to file a grievance.

Mr. T: You should've listened to Mr. T. I told you Jamal Lewis was worth it in the trade. So far the two RBs who have taken the most heat in this league are Lewis and Thomas Jones. Who leads the AFC in rushing yards? Thomas Jones. Who had 17 points again this week? Thomas Jones. Jamal has had 14 points in 3 of his last 5 games and another one with 90 yards. Maybe if he sneaks out a win tonight for Michael J. Cox, the people will realize they were wrong.

Marble Ryan: Fitz tore up Seattle, so I’m not all that surprised. Royal is averaging 13 PPG since I acquired him, that slightly better than my previous WR3, Ike Bruce. How'd he do? Moss for some reason was taking plays off on Thursday, but he showed his ability on that last catch. I'm fine letting him play his game and put up points when he feels like. As for Romo, it's his first game back, and he looked a lot better in the second half. I'm not worried about him. Think of the trade in terms of the guys I sold. I didn't want Mcgahee, Schaub, and Fitz on my team. Maybe it was rash to not want Fitz anymore, but there was a reason I didn't want the other two, and I got some good players for them, so I'm satisfied.

Mr. T: I still say you completely lucked out with Schaub. That's the karma talking with his injury. You still acquired a bunch of chicken shit and Ray Farmer just walked through that door.

Marble Ryan: Maybe I got lucky, but he was due to come back to earth. I'll continue to say this for the rest of the year: I could've traded Manning instead, since Schaub was playing much better at the time, but I would never have agreed to swap the two in the trade because Schaub was the guy to sell for me the whole time.

Mr. T: I’d also like to point out that Lafayette’s team snuck out another win.

Lafayette Gold: Dude, I won by 23 and was up 30 all afternoon so that is hardly "sneaking out a win." I knew I was playing Black Irish, so I took some risky chances... This was Moss and Hassllebeck’s first game back and next week I hope to get Reggie back. Also Moore has been a big pickup and step up from dead ass Holmes.

Mr. T: You scored 87 points. You played the team in the league with the least talent. And Moss didn't miss any games. Depending on What Lee Evans does tonight; you only scored more points than 2 or 3 teams this week. Your team is fucking terrible. Someone back me up here! I know everyone feels the same way.

Black Irish: I hope this is a joke: " I knew I was playing Black Irish, so I took some risky chances..." Uh, I've got a grand total of 2 wins (and 2 ties, but let's not go down that road).

Mr. T: Yeah I'd love to hear what kind of risks you took. I'm sure that Rhodes vs. Faulk decision took hours

Michael J. Cox: Yeah I mean the #s don't lie. Lowest total points in the league... That's pretty hard to defend...

Marble Ryan: Black Irish, it wasn't a joke. It meant your team is so bad that he could afford to put in some high upside guys to try to make a dent in the total points category, because he knew he didn't have to worry about the W. I did the same thing against Lehman Brothers this week when I started Jerious Norwood, figured even if he got 3 I'd be able to win, and if he got 20 I could pass someone in scoring..

Lafayette Gold: EXACTLY Marble! I knew this was an easy win so I took some chances and played my big guys who were still banged up so I could make up some ground on the overall points since I am in last place and I am reminded of it on a weekly friggn' basis... Also Mr. T, Washington was a better option than Rhodes or Faulk, since Reggie was scratched on Friday...

Mr. T: Yeah but who are Lafayette’s high upside, high risk guys? And Marble, I still can't believe you left Norwood on the bench for Kevin Smith. You're basically going against everything you said when you made the trade for Smith in the first place.

Marble Ryan: Yeah it was stupid, but I thought Norwood was good for a 60-yard td run against Denver. Oh well. No more moves like that for me... I'll be playing to win the game.

Mr. T: Marble, It's the price you pay for wanting explosivity. And Lafayette please! If you really wanted to play risky, you would've started Leon. But you learned after the previous week that Leon is not someone you start in fantasy leagues because he's not guaranteed anything. Maybe you start him during bye weeks when half your team is injured. But you're not even living up to your risk statement because you didn't play him.

Lafayette Gold: My risks were starting a probable Moss and Hasselbeck (Collins was a safer, better pick), but I knew the AZ secondary sucked and they both easily could have been out. Also I had Reggie in until Friday so I would say starting three players who were questionable or probable is risky. I was going for some explosivity punk since the win was a formality.

Mr. T: Does anyone else see explosivity in those decisions? Starting probable players isn't exactly risky.

The Slow Eater: Was the win really "a formality" against Black Irish? I mean, I know he's only won two games, but he averages more points than you do. With the lowest point total in the league I'm not sure you can say a win against anybody is a formality.

Mr. T: Haha! ZING! You have less points per game than Black Irish. That's kind of bad. I will say that if you take Matt's weekly winner out of there, his PPG is probably a lot less.

The Slow Eater: I'm going to speak in defense of Basketball on Grass... It's true that Lafayette’s team has scored the fewest points in the league and yet somehow remains in the playoff picture. This might make it tempting to say that his team has "gotten lucky" or been "a fluke" or is maybe even "a disgrace to all that is good and pure in this wonderful fantasy sport of ours." But I say that it is unfair. Not only is it unfair, but it is also inaccurate, because it overlooks the one quality that this team has shown time and time again this season. This is that it "knows how to win." This is a group of blue-collar guys whose contributions might not show up in the box score, but they do in the win-loss record. It is, in a word, inspirational. That or they've just gotten really fucking lucky.

Mr. T: That's the longest comment I've ever seen about such a marginal team. You just want them in the playoffs so you can smoke them in Round 1. You'd rather see him than Torry any day.

Torry Hallelujah: I think tonight is going to be a turning point for the KL Crew — my battle of Saratoga. If I pull this out I’m 6-4-1 with a game next week against the Z Team; if I lose I’m 5-5-1 and probably out of the playoffs. Like everything else in life, it all comes down to the Human Anvil.

Mr. T: Anchors away!

Torry Hallelujah: The new RBS to watch is in Arizona — J.J. Arrington was looking frisky yesterday. Anyone who made any trades based on the idea that Hightower could now be counted on as an RB1/2 is going to be sorely disappointed.

Mr. T: Hightower definitely tried to push too many runs to the outside yesterday. For a guy who is supposed to be strong in short yardage, he should try running between the tackles. He doesn't have the speed to get to the outside all the time. Arrington did a lot of his best work running right up the gut. It's kind of odd that Hightower hasn't scored TDs the last two weeks given how successful he was before getting the start job. Maybe he's not conditioned for it.
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Great Debates in Fantasy Football: How good is Larry Fitzgerald?

Since the return of Anquan Boldin, some people have started to wonder just who the #1 WR is in Arizona. Fitzgerald was rated higher than Boldin in the preseason rankings, but that could’ve been due to Boldin’s injury history. Now that the injury is out of the way and Steve Breaston has emerged, will Fitzgerald’s value drop through the floor? Our staff considered the situation.

Marble Ryan: So, we’re two weeks into my trade, and my "half right" edict is coming true. Fitz, despite his TD last night, is clearly the #2 WR in Arizona, and, on some occasions, the #3. Sure, I gave up 8 to 12 predictable points a week by trading Fitz, but I did relieve myself of a very frustrating situation: Boldin is obviously the unstoppable go-to guy and is Warner's personal favorite target. Eddie Royal and Fitz are arguably in the same situation: the #2 guy on teams that throw the ball all over the place. With the way Marshall gets doubled, Royal is an extremely attractive play, and I think his spottiness early season was injury related.

Mr. T: You can't seriously be comparing Fitzgerald to Royal. I think you're starting to go off the deep end when you say that Fitz is possibly the #3 WR on his team. If you look at catches yesterday, it was equally distributed between the receivers. Fitzgerald had 8 catches, Boldin had 7, and Breaston had 7. That's a pretty even distribution, and when you acknowledge that a majority of Breaston’s yardage came on a 46 yard bomb, the discrepancy doesn’t seem as wide. Last game was the first all year in which Fitz didn't catch a ball for longer than 10 yards and only the second game in which he didn't catch one of 20+. That's not statistically significant enough to question his yardage totals for that game. Then, you get to the red zone looks. From the game I was watching, I saw two looks to Boldin and two to Fitzgerald. Boldin just converted on his two. Fitz saw one go over his head; the other became a TD. Only in Marble’s world can a 10-point game from a receiver (on 8 catches) be called unproductive.

The Slow Eater: In no way are Fitz and Royal on the same level. I’ll admit that maybe I underestimated Royal (although his consistency still remains to be seen), but Fitz is the # 3 WR in Yahoo! scoring this season. Who cares if the #1 WR happens to be on his team? That's absolutely irrelevant for fantasy purposes. Fitz still puts up points each week and gives you the "explosivity" of some monster games.

Marble Ryan: I care about points, and, more importantly, I care about trends. The majority of Fitz's points came with Boldin out. With Boldin back, there is now 300 yards and two TDs to split between three equally-targeted WRs. In Denver, its the same stats split between 2.5 guys, only Marshall is double-covered way more than Boldin is. No one in their right mind would double Boldin with Fitz on the other side. In fact, Fitz is probably the one getting double-covered, which is why Boldin gets the love. Bottom line: you can't rely on Fitz's numbers from the weeks when Boldin was out because he had no face.

Mr. T: I agree with The Slow Eater: Fitz doesn’t become a less productive player just because Boldin is on the team. Wouldn't Boldin's production actually help Fitz and start pushing double coverage over to Boldin’s side? Can we rely on his numbers from last year when he finished as the #5 scoring WR? You're just bitter that no one wanted to overpay for Fitz in a trade by giving up a RB1 and therefore you've convinced yourself that he's not so good.

Marble Ryan: There's a reason no one wanted Fitzgerald and there's a reason no one drafted him. Slow Eater, if Fitz is so good, why wouldn't you give up crappy Braylon Edwards and a very inconsistent MJD for Fitz plus a solid McGahee? Why was Edwards drafted 8 spots ahead of him? All of you were worried about Boldin, and the past three weeks showed it was for good reason.

Mr. T: Now McGahee is solid? A week ago he was terrible. It's not that no one wanted to drafted Fitzgerald. He went after Moss, TO, Edwards, and Colston as the #5 WR. And you can't say that the Slow Eater knew what he was doing with WRs because he drafted Chad Johnson in the 4th round. I don't need to explain why Moss and TO went ahead of him. Colston has been hurt, but showed last week and last year why he went ahead of him. And then Edwards...well there was no reason to think he'd be as bad as he's been. But the point is that Fitz was still the #5 WR taken at the end of the 3rd round, exactly where he was supposed to be taken...

The Slow Eater: Fitzgerald’s point totals from this season in games in which Boldin has played are 9, 15, 16, 12, 11, 8, and 10. You average those numbers out for the whole season up till this point and he's still the #4 WR in all of football, as well as the most consistent. I’m not sure why you think you can't rely on his numbers. There isn't a WR you can rely on more.

Marble Ryan: That kind of just put me on the floor, although there's one WR you can rely on more, and his name is Anquan.
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Scout's Take: In which we discuss the downward spiral of the KL Crew, the challenge of finding solid QB play, and Thomas Jones' deceptively productive

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after spending all of our money on Sarah Palin bobbleheads, we had to fire them all. In their place are Lafayette Gold, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 10 action.

Michael J. Cox: In light of recent events, I'm revising my Romo/Jess Simpson comparison for Torry and shifting it to Robert Redford/Kim Basinger from the Natural. I'm afraid Glen Close isn't walking through that door though…

Marble Ryan: This downfall has nothing to do with karma. Torry could easily have himself in much better position right now, but he played his hand horribly. This isn't real football, depth doesn't help you. Get off your duff and make a trade. Too late now, as everyone smells blood and doesn't want to face that RB team in the playoffs.

Mr. T: Yeah you can talk about depth all you want, but you're always better beefing up your starting lineup. Everyone was ragging on my QB situation two weeks ago. I don't see how Torry’s is any better right now. Big Ben is not at 100% and is finding his inner Tommy Maddux. Frerotte and Cassel are not the answer. And then you have Jake Delhomme. That performance that Delhomme put up yesterday was one for the ages. You take out a long Deangelo Williams TD run and we're talking about the Raiders having a chance to win the game on their final drive.

Michael J. Cox: Amen, I've been totally Panther free for almost 10 months now and I couldn't feel better about it.

Marble Ryan: I would go so far as to say the KL Crew has the worst QB situation in the lig, surpassing the Z-Team. Big Ben went back to 2006, and he's been the king of the Hail Mary interception this year. Delhomme is just a joke.

Torry Hallelujah: It's easy to say that I should've dealt one of my RBs for a QB, but let's not forget that 4-week stretch when half my team was injured. If I hadn't had depth during those weeks, I would've been starting guys like Pierre Thomas and Kolby Smith. Go back and listen to the podcasts: any time Marble and I talked about a trade, it ended with me saying that I didn't have enough healthy players on my roster to deal away any RBs, and with Marble acknowledging that this was the case, as well.

Mr. T: The schedule doesn't get easy for Torry either. He's going to have to earn his playoff spot with games against Michael, myself, and the Slow Eater in week 14. Other than the game against Black Irish, there are no cupcakes there.

Torry Hallelujah: Also, the QB situation in the NFL is so up-and-down that I didn't want to risk making a trade for a guy who sucked/was injury prone. I could've traded for JTO or Matt Schaub, but where would that have gotten me? And a guy like Garrard isn't a big enough upgrade over the guys I have to risk losing an RB. Even guys like Rodgers and Cutler have had terrible games this year. You can blame me for not trying to trade for a Joe Flacco or Matt Ryan, just as long as you blame yourself, too — nobody could've predicted how good those guys were going to be on a consistent basis this year.

Mr. T: You sound like Marble crowning Flacco and Ryan. How about Romo when he was available. He would've been perfect for your 5-2-1 team that had some wiggle room. Or maybe you talk Bowser into a McNabb trade because you can offer him quality pieces. Manning was also on the market for a couple weeks. You missed your chance. Your window is closed. And this year it won't be because Kolby Smith took you to the woodshed.

Michael J. Cox: Yeah, I mean I stuck it out through some absolutely BRUTAL Flacco performances before he took his John Elway pill and started looking like the second coming. I'm still not totally convinced. I still find it hilarious that I a) started the season rolling with Tom Brady & DA thinking I was in great shape at QB, then b) found myself with Joe Flacco and Warner thinking I was in terrible shape, and now c) I still have Joe Flacco & Warner and am back to thinking I'm in great shape. Fantasy football is hilarious.

Michael J. Cox: I'll also add that watching Arizona games for me now makes me realize what it's like for a mom to watch their son play high school football. Every time Warner drops back I'm excited that he could do something great, but also absolutely terrified that he might be killed and completely destroy both of my fantasy teams. Entertaining stuff....

Marble Ryan: The Crew was actually in disarray last year at this time as well, until I saved his season with that preposterous trade. On a side not, an interesting development in week 10 fantasy world...the annual appearance of Ryan Moats, this time on the Texans. Not sure if Slaton is really hurt, but if he is, get ready for moats to make his yearly appearance in someone's starting lineup. Moats has turned the tides of more than one fantasy season in his life.

Mr. T: He wasn't hurt. They were getting their butts kicked and Slaton was ineffective. It was mop up work.

Torry Hallelujah: That’s fine, I’m happy to give up my role as a frontrunner in favor of becoming the proverbial Team That No One Wants to Play. Give me that 4th seed and I’ll put The Chefs on the floor. Put it on the board!

Michael J. Cox: There's an absolute red alert betting play this evening's for those of you interested in such things. 7 point teaser with Cards -2.5 & Over 39. Book that one...

Mr. T: I still can't believe Rex didn't throw that second interception this weekend. And that would've been your red alert betting prop of the weekend out of all your suggestions. The Titans, Giants, and Giants/Eagles overs were nice plays too.

Michael J. Cox: I was high on the Rex prop, but am way higher on this. This would have gone in giant block letters in my write-up, but this is actually the first time that I'm seeing the line. It was on the 2nd page of the odds site that I was looking at and I totally missed it until today. Shocker with Rex though. I would have given you 3/1 yesterday after Rex threw the pick in the 1st quarter that he'd have a 2nd one.

Lafayette Gold: I’m smoke and mirrors, right? Bball on Grass almost pulled out another W with Moss and Bryant on bye and Bush and Hassel still out with injuries. Once I get Reggie and Hassel back this "operation" will be smooth sailing...

Mr. T: The fact that you named all that talent not playing proves it was a smoke and mirrors operation. I've told you for weeks that Toomer isn't a viable starting option. Kevin Faulk showed this week why he's not either. Gonzalez is the 3rd receiver on his own team and he went against the league's best pass defense. Lance Moore got lucky with a Hail Mary 40 yard TD or his stat line would've sucked. That's what we call smoke and mirrors.

Lafayette Gold: If Toooma doesn’t get tackled inside the one it’s a 12 pt night which is solid for my last WR.

Mr. T: Yeah well based on your luck of a run first Tennessee offense getting Collins two passing TDs, you can't worry about a Toomer if. You just don't have the talent that other teams in this league have. Look at how many teams will drop 120+ this week. There's a reason you're last in the league in points. You're putting up as much offense as your man Tiller does week in and week out.

Lafayette Gold: Look at the remaining schedule dude. I like the chances of my smoke and mirror operation making the playoffs which is more than I can say for the overrated and overhyped A-Team. Much like Joe Tiller B-Ball on Grass takes the foot off the gas once we have the game in hand.

Mr. T: I've scored 141 more points than you this year. That's 14.1 points a week! You're team sucks. You got lucky a few times and that's how you're 6-4. Hopefully the laws of statistics will correct your record by season's end so you and Black Irish can complain about your college and fantasy teams over a White Russian.

Marble Ryan: Mr. T and Lafayette, I'll settle your little tiff right now: both of your teams are garbaaj. I've beaten Lafayette twice scoring below my season average both times, and I beat Mr. T with one starting QB because I was on the subway from Brooklyn when Schaub decided he was too hung-over to play. Stop arguing and start preparing for 2009...you two are like the CEOs of GM and Ford arguing over who's going to zero first.

Mr. T: When Thomas Jones takes a dump on your forehead in our Week 14 matchup, eliminating you from the playoffs, we'll see who is talking. FYI, he's got the Niners in Week 14. Can you taste it?

Lafayette Gold: Your team is all over the map. Your average score is deceptive cuz one week you put up 137 and the next you put up 77. When you lose your team shits the bed big time.... I have had two very bad weeks keeping my total points down. I knew week 4 was a bad loss heading into the season with the bye situation. Face it, your team is inconsistent which is why you are stuck in mediocrity much like Black Irish’s Golden Domers.

Mr. T: Chad Pennington has more points than everyone on your team other than Eli Manning. QUIT YOUR YAPPIN!

Marble Ryan: I actually like Mr. T’s team for that 4th playoff spot and the team no one wants to play. That running back trio of Barber, Portis, and Jones is actually better than a combination of the three who Torry can roll out. Torry does have Marshall, but Tony G over Jan Carlson neutralizes that advantage. After that the rest is a crap pile on both sides.

Mr. T: Do all of you respect Thomas Jones by now? 25, 15, 11, 15, and 32 are his point totals in the last 5 weeks. He's already at my predicted 8 TDs. And he's on pace for 1,333 rushing yards (33 more than my prediction). Long live Julius' older brother...

Torry Hallelujah: I’ve respected TJ all year — he’s much faster than anyone gives him credit for. It’s weird how some elite backs LT, Shaun Alexander completely lose their burst as they get older but other, mediocre RBs are able to hold onto their skill/speed longer into their careers.

Steve Stevens: Yeah, another Jets RB in Curtis Martin would be a good example of that.

Mr. T: It's a good thing someone on our website can have credibility after Marble Ryan's love for LJ and hate for Adrian Peterson. And we might as well add Torry's love for Jeremy Shockey.
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Scout’s Take: In which we discuss a bye week meltdown, Marble Ryan's explosivity, and Brandon Jacob's fragile body

Each week, our scouts gather to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after spending all of our money on IPhone applications, we had to fire them all. In their place are Black Irish, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, Steve Stevens, The Slow Eater, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 9 action.

Mr. T: Everyone needs to give Torry Hallelujah a TON of shit for his display this weekend. (Ed. Hallelujah started Jake Delhomme, who was on the bye, and left Gus Frerotte's 17 points on his bench). I don't care who you're sleeping with and how often you're doing it, starting a QB who's on the bye is completely inexcusable. This isn't some Powder Puff league. Marble Ryan touts this as the "most knowledgeable league of any out there,” but Torry did not help that case this weekend.

Mr. T: And it doesn't matter that you know you effed up. It's still inexcusable. You once said that in a fantasy draft of the RGIOQB owners, you’d be the #1 pick. Well, you just ran a 5.1 40 at the combine and dropped a 3 on the Wonderlic. It ain't karma that's gonna lose you the game this week; it's stupidity!

Steve Stevens: Torry, thanks for potentially costing me $40. Get your head out of your ass. (Ed. Cousin Bowser’s victory over Torry Hallelujah might move him ahead of Steve Stevens in the year-end standings. The owner of the last place team has to pay an additional $40 fee.)

Michael J. Cox: Looks like Torry has found the Jessica Simpson to his Tony Romo. Before long she’ll will be showing up to Blondies in a pink Hallelujah jersey and cheering mindlessly as the KL Crew puts up a 10 point day.

Black Irish: Seriously, this is one of the more embarrassing developments this season. I've gone under the radar picking up some guys off the waiver wire who are on byes, but this... this is just plain sad. Torry is going to lose to Cousin Bowser because he left Delhomme starting. Weakness

Torry Hallelujah: I really don’t have much to say for myself; I totally messed up. Thing is, I can’t even blame it on anyone but myself — I stayed in Saturday night and had more than enough time to change it. To quote Bill Belichick, “We’re moving on.”

Marble Ryan: I'd like to point out the following things that happened this weekend:

1. Boldin caught the TD, not Fitzgerald
2. Willis McGahee is hurt
3. Matt Schaub got hurt and is now out 4 weeks
4. Dan Orlovsky was good enough for me this week (15 points)
5. You can all kiss my ass

Mr. T: I'd like to point out:

1. Moss still only had 60+ yards and a fumble
2. Fitzgerald still had 80+ receiving yards, which makes 8 points the worst week he's had all year
3. You sold Tim Hightower early in the season and it might come back to haunt you. He now catapults himself into the top 15 of RBs

Back Irish: And to further point #2, it appears that Ray Rice is getting all of the carries there, minus a goal line touch or two.

The Slow Eater: I think it's funny that Marble is going to win this week in all likelihood because of his crappy trade. It doesn't change the quality of the trade though. There's no way you could have counted on Schaub getting hurt and the one total point gotten between Schaub and McGahee is still one more than Marble got from Romo and Morris.

Mr. T: It's also possible that my trade with Cousin Bowser cost me a win this week. (Ed. Mr. T traded Shaun Hill, Torry Holt, Jason Witten, and the Tennessee D to Cousin Bowser for David Garrard, Roy Williams, Tony Gonzalez, and the Cleveland D before Week 10). The difference between Garrard, Gonzalez, Galloway (because I wasn't starting Roy yet), and Cleveland D vs. Favre, TE Pickup, Holt, and Tennessee's D is 12 points. I'd feel a lot better down 11 with Portis and Holmes vs. Moss and Miller than down 23.

Steve Stevens: Brandon Jacobs looked real strong yesterday. I wish they would feed him the rock more. This Earth, Wind, and Fire thing is bullshit.

Mr. T: Maybe if Brandon Jacobs was more durable than a piece of legal paper, they wouldn’t have to worry about rotating him out of the game so much.

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Great Debates in Fantasy Football: Is this one of the oddest deals of all time?

At 12:23 a.m. last night, the following came over our league news wire:
“Marble Ryan agrees to trade Matt Schaub, Larry Fitzgerald, Willis McGahee and Isaac Bruce to Bruno for Tony Romo, Randy Moss, Sammy Morris, and Eddie Royal.”

We’ve analyzed mediocre trades before, but this blockbuster definitely shook up the league. Did Marble Ryan move himself closer to a championship, or did he take Wo Ai Beijing out of contention?

Marble Ryan: I understand that on the surface it appears I've given up value with every component of the trade. You can make the argument that I should've been upgraded in another area for giving Schaub up for an injured Romo. Here's my rationale: I play Steve Stevens this week, so I have time to wait. I am very down on Fitz with Boldin taking away red zone looks, and I think Moss is on the rise. And finally, I don't believe Morris is really hurt — the Pats are just messing around — and I think he's a much better play than McGahee. I don't think he's going to be out two more weeks. He'll play Week 10 at the latest. Also, I had no WR3, and I like Royal much better than Bruce. I'm rolling with Orlovsky at QB for the time being. Not counting that safety, take a look at his numbers — he's actually been good. And do you really think Romo can't heal from a broken pinky after 5 weeks off? He'll be fine. Schaub just gets you what the defense gives him. He's got to play Tennessee and Baltimore later on, and I think he'll revert to the form he showed in the first quarter of the season.

Mr. T: Marble, on behalf of the league, I'd like to thank you for making this trade. You've ensured a better chance for all the rest of us to make the playoffs. You're way way too down on Fitz. The guy is a legit name receiver and you basically gave him away. Let's look at something:

Points:
Player A - 9, 15, 16, 12, 15
Player B - 8, 32, 8, 17, 18

Besides the anomaly week of 32 vs. 15, does it really look like one player is better than the other? This is what happens when you don't actually pay attention to the games at Blondies. Player A is Fitz and Player B is Boldin. Those are the 5 games they've been on the field together. There's really no difference in their numbers once you remove the outliers.

You made this statement that you'd only trade Fitz for a legit RB and you didn't get that in this deal. So, nice job there. If this had been Schaub and Fitz for Romo and Moss, then it might've made some sense. But of the final six games of the fantasy season, Romo’s going to miss two of them. When he comes back, what's he really worth? 5 points a game?

Right now the best QB is averaging 18 a game and guys like Pennington, Garrard, Campbell, and Delhomme all average between 5-8 points less. For your RB2 and flex positions right now, you’ll be choosing between Morris (injured for at least 2 more weeks), Deuce (suspension looming), Selvin Young (banged up and crummy), and Kevin Smith (splitting carries). And when McAllister gets suspended in mid-November, what are you gonna do then?

You also say that you wanted to upgrade at WR3. Royal hasn't scored a TD since week 2. His yardage totals with Brandon Marshall in the lineup are 37, 11, 104, 23, and 71. I hate to break it to you, but he’s not a WR3.

Michael J. Cox: Marble, who are you starting at QB the next few weeks? You could be out of this thing before Romo even gets back, and the guy has a broken finger on his throwing hand. Did you see that thing he was wearing on it the game he was active? Think that's worth rolling with Seneca Wallace or Dan Orlovsky for 2-3 weeks when Schaub has been lights out lately? Also, do you really think Morris is going to be that strong of an option after Faulk & Green-Ellis have put in decent showings with him out? This is a Bill Belichick fantasy RB situation here. It doesn't turn out well over the long term for anyone.

The Slow Eater: I think that Marble Ryan doesn't appreciate the godsend that is Fitz. I know you crave explosivity, but you have to give Fitz's consistency some love. The last game in which he had less than 80 receiving yards and failed to score a TD was Week 1…of last season! That's a full season and a half of solid numbers he's been putting up every single week, with some monster games thrown in the mix. Having a WR like that gives you a huge edge. I'm very concerned that I'm going to regret not trading you for him when I had the chance. I just realized that I'm going against Bruno this week, and whereas of yesterday he was going to start Jamarcus Russell and Tyler Thigpen at QB, and Morris, who isn't even going to play this week, at RB, I have to deal with facing Schaub, Mcgahee, and Fitz. Fuck!

Steve Stevens: Just say "No" to Lions, Marble. You're making my draft mistake all over again with your acquisition of Kevin Smith and Orlovsky...

Torry Hallelujah: When this trade came over the wire, I thought about how Michael J. Cox was saying that there's definitely something to taking the Malcolm Gladwell "instinct is everything" approach when picking NFL games. My instinctive reaction to this swap? One of the worst trades I've seen in my 8 years of playing fantasy football.

Marble Ryan: You have a point about the Lions, but Orlovsky is a temporary backstop. You guys have no idea how frustrating it is to watch Warner never take his eyes off Boldin in the end zone, and then watch Boldin effortlessly get open for the TD grab while Fitz stands there pleasantly. It was great when Boldin was out, but that's over now and Fitz is back to being the #2 guy. If he's so great, why did I never receive one legit offer for him when he was openly on the block? There was no bid, and there has to be a reason for that. Deep down everyone wants to avoid him because of the Boldin overhang. And let's just wait and see what I get from Moss and Morris. I'm making a bet, and I like the direction they are going. Everyone loves Fitz until they think about giving something up for him, evidently. You all could have had him, you all could have drafted him. He's only worth something when you can trash me for setting him loose.

Mr. T: Marble, you always say you make one trade too many. This is that trade. How does this trade resemble a legitimate offer? An injured QB, a WR without his QB, an injured mediocre RB, and a WR4? And you're going to deal with a Belichick situation with injuries? Good Luck with that. You do realize Moss played better in the two games where Cassel was throwing at home, right? Of course he's gonna be better at home. And Moss' games weren't even that good! Apparently McGahee's TDs in back-to-back weeks was too much for you to handle. Your RB situation is absolutely putrid now. The problem here is you never seem to grasp the idea of market value. You traded away guys at their highest values, but you didn't receive guys whose market values were on the same level. When you buy low, you don't give up quality!

Marble felt like Mike Shanahan hasn't tossed his salad enough that he figured he'd ask Belichick to do it now. Jelly or syrup, big guy?
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Week 9 Podcast: "I did not realize Kevin Walter was white. Did not realize that."

Marble Ryan joins Torry Hallelujah to discuss the Matt Schaub's explosivity, the trend toward smaller receivers, and who’s hot and who’s not on the waiver wire.

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