Rating the Receivers

A lot can happen in two weeks. If you’re looking at 0-2 like I am, things don’t seem rosy. I always draft more running backs than I need because I think that you can always pick up receivers from the free agent or waiver pool. This year is no different. A few of last year’s studs don’t look so studly, and a few guys who were drafted late or not at all look great. But who falls into which camp? Let’s take a look.

The Charles Barkley Division (Fave Five)

1. Terrell Owens (DAL) With Moss now catching balls from Matt Cassell, TO takes over the top spot.
2. Reggie Wayne (IND) Marvin’s not the same player he used to be, so former second fiddle Wayne will continue to put up elite numbers.
3. Randy Moss (NE) I’m not as low on Moss as some, but if Belichick goes back to his early ‘00s offense, Moss could be in trouble.
4. Brandon Marshall (DEN) A man on a mission. Cutler’s making the leap and Marshall’s jumping with him. The emergence of Eddie Royal and Tony Scheffler will help keep opposing defenses honest.
5. Andre Johnson (HOU) The Texans don’t have a backfield presence to take the pressure off him, but Andre should still thrive given how often they’ll be playing from behind. If he can stay healthy, he’ll be a monster.

The Sarah Palin Division (Rising Five)

1. Calvin Johnson (DET) In Week 1, the man they call “Bolt” got twice as many looks as Roy Williams. In Week 2, he displayed his freakish athletic ability by breaking away from the defense for two scores. Kitna’s hanging from a string, so he’ll keep throwing to the guy who knows how to get in the endzone.
2. Greg Jennings (GB) Aaron Rodgers is for real, which means that GJ will keep making those Lambeau Leaps.
3. DeSean Jackson (PHI) Sure, he’s a moron for dropping the ball on the 1-yard line on Monday night, but he’s posted back-to-back 100-yard games. Ever since TO left, Donovan’s been looking for someone to share his Chunky soup with, and Jackson is in the mood for some Mulligatawny. Who-ah! Who-ah!
4. Matt Jones (JAX) Maybe an eight ball really can focus a man. With their guards out of the line-up, expect the Jaguars to throw the ball more often. Jones seems like he’s Garrard’s guy right now.
5. Bryant Johnson (SF) Week 2 showed that Arizona’s former first round pick is now JT O’Sullivan’s main target. Every year, a receiver you wouldn’t expect rides Air Martz and rides it well. Jump on board now.

The Lehman Brothers Division (Falling Five)

1. Braylon Edwards (CLE) The Browns’ offense looks inept and the schedule doesn’t get easier. Missing the preseason looks like it brought Edwards back to his Michigan days. Nobody lays a finger on his Butterfingers.
2. Roddy White (ATL) When you account for 35% of your QB’s passing yards, that’s a good thing. When your QB only has 319 yards after two games, that’s a bad thing. I don’t see Ryan improving much, so don’t expect Rowdy Roddy to drop too many elbows from the top rope this season.
3. Laveranues Coles (NYJ) After two weeks, he already looks dejected and his drops are higher than usual. Once Favre and Cotchery consummate their budding romance, Coles will be officially out in the cold.
4. Javon Walker (DEN) If you’ve seen the Raiders play this year, you know that the Oakland passing attack is about as attractive as the AIG balance sheet. Add the residual effects of his injuries and emotional trauma and you may have a guy whose days in The Lig are numbered.
5. Bernard Berrian (MIN) To be fair, it’s tough to catch passes that are thrown directly into the ground. Until Tarvaris Jackson finds his way to the bench, the Vikings receivers are like Amy Winehouse — strictly a hands-off proposition.