The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week

Don't look now, people, but through five glorious NFL Sundays, the Marble Ryan Lock of the Week is returning $1.34 for every $1.00 bet. Stuck at 2-2 heading into last week's games, the Lock needed a serious shot in the arm. That shot came last Sunday when, in one of the great performances in the history of gambling, the Colts defense stepped up HUGE, scoring one TD andg setting up another in the last four minutes of the freaking game to bring in both the cover and the over, sealing the parlay on which the Marble Ryan Retirement Account rested. BOOM! That two-for-one made for a few extra-special lunches this week, but now it's time to take it down a notch and be appropriately conservative within this tumultuous economic backdrop. That means no more risky parlays in the near term. Sorry folks, but the Lock is going back to basics in Week 6.

Through all the frenzy of last weekend, I was able to make one observation: I do not like what I'm seeing out of the Chargers. For starters, LT can't seem to get his toes right. Everyone else on that offense is so accustomed to being carried by the GOAT – that's right, Jim Brown has been officially put on the floor – that LT's startling ineffectiveness is really cracking their rhythm. Phil Rivers had a great start, but he's looked pretty crappy the past two weeks. Problems at home, maybe? I don't want to speculate, but being a 26-year-old millionaire with a wife belittling you and a rug rat throwing up in your car has to have a serious psychological impact.

The Chargers are a pretty talented team, but they've always been soft. The fact is, they lost last week to a team that won one game last year, and the week before that, they barely were able to beat a team whose coach was doing all he could to get canned. This week, they're giving 5.5 points to the visiting Pats, and I think they're going to run into more problems. Everyone remembers the offensive barrage New England dropped on the league last year, but I can't help but feel like all the long balls and Stetson commercials have led to the Pats falsely being labeled as a "finesse" team. Don't forget, Belichick became the most successful coach of this century by assembling the most grizzled, mean, dirty bunch of bastards he could find, which is precisely why New England has owned the Chargers over the past several years. If you're not cheating, you're not trying, and you're definitely not beating the Pats. I like Matt Cassel to take another step forward this Sunday and deliver a comfortable cover for New England bettors. As much as I hate Boston and everyone from there, this one is a little too enticing to pass up. Lock it up!

The pick (home team in caps): New England (+5.5) over SAN DIEGO

Season record: 3-2

Every Friday, Marble Ryan will offer up The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week, an under-the-radar, sure-fire NFL pick backed by his proprietary insight. But be forewarned: we in no way advise you to actually take this pick to your local bookkeeper; in fact, we recommend against it. After all, if you hear a cold metallic tap on your door late at night, we're not going to be there to bail you out. But if you want a peek into the pre-eminent football mind of an entire generation, look no further.