Eight Questions with Reggie Bush

We caught up with Saints RB Reggie Bush this week and talked to him about his inconsistency, his plans for the bye week, and Kim Kardashian’s ass.

Lafayette Gold: Reggie, your first two years in the league were very up-and-down. But three weeks into the season, you’re looking like you’ve turned things around. What happened?

Reggie Bush: Honestly, I’ve always had the raw physical ability. I’ve got the 4.33 40, the 40 ½ inch vertical leap and the body of an Adonis. I could churn out 20 TDs every year. But what’s the fun in that? I like to underperform and leave my fans wanting more. Sure, I played well the last three weeks, but the next three? Who’s to say. It all depends on how I’m feeling.

Lafayette Gold: Are you saying that sometimes you’re not really trying out there? Don’t you ever want to move out of the second-tier of fantasy RBs and become a first round pick?

Reggie Bush: Look man, it’s not always about what the fans want. I need to watch out for myself, make sure I get mine. I got that fine piece of ass Kim Kardashian waiting for me at home every night. You think I want to get banged up? The only contact I like is in the bedroom – slamming into Kim’s ass is a lot more pleasant than getting tackled by Brian Urlacher.

Lafayette Gold: I see. So your fear of getting hurt is why you’re not a north-south runner?

Reggie Bush: [Laughs] Hey, you said it, not me.

Lafayette Gold: So what can your fantasy owners expect from you over the next few weeks?

Reggie Bush: Well, we’ve got some tough matchups ahead of us. Minnesota, Carolina, San Diego – those are some strong defenses, man. I’ll probably give you a little flash when we go against San Francisco and Oakland, but against those other three? Probably not much. Then it’s the bye week – that’s my time to shine.

Lafayette Gold: Are you saying that the Niners…

Reggie Bush: Actually, sorry to interrupt, but can we go back to the bye week? Man, that’s going to be tight. I’m taking Kim to Cabo. Romo gave me a hotel recommendation and everything.

Lafayette Gold: But aren’t you supposed to rest during the bye?

Reggie Bush: Dude, did you see me at USC? One thing Reggie Bush knows is how to party. Every night, man: girls, booze, and more bribes than even Tim Donaghy would know what to do with. One week on the beach and I’ll be set.

Lafayette Gold: Wait, so you’re saying that people should trade for you because you’re going to finish strong?

Reggie Bush: [Laughs] Please, this is Reggie Bush you’re talking to! You think I’d ever be stupid enough to guarantee performance? Who do I look like, Brandon Marshall? The truth is, I can’t decide from one day to the next whether I’m going to be good or not. And I’ll tell you what, man, that Chicago matchup in the fantasy semifinals does not look good for Reggie Bush, not at all.

Lafayette Gold: What about the fantasy consolation game the following week?

Reggie Bush: Oh man, that’s where I’m going to light it up. I mean, it’s almost time for my contract extension. A brotha has to get paid, don’t he?