Catching Up With: Rex Grossman

Torry Hallelujah sat down with the once-and-current Bears QB to discuss his fantasy value, what it all means for the numbers of Matt Forte and other Bears players, and the new relevance of the RexGrossmanIsOurQuarterback.com domain name.

Torry Hallelujah: Rex, it’s been a big week for you. Kyle Orton, the guy you were benched in favor of, went down with what looks to be a pretty severe high ankle sprain. You came in to go 9-19 for 58 yards, with one passing TD, one rushing TD and an interception. Tell us, what was that like?

Rex Grossman: Oh man, it was awesome. I was a little hung over, but it was great to be able to put my arm on display again.

TH: You’ve got two tough games coming up – this week, you’re hosting the Titans, and next week you’re playing at Green Bay. What can fantasy owners expect from you?

RG: All I can really promise is that I’m going to throw the sexiest damn deep ball in the whole league. Completion percentage, interceptions, fumbled snaps – I can’t make any guarantees there.

TH: So it’s safe to say we can expect the same Rex Grossman?

RG: Oh, 100%. No question about it. After that, things get a little easier with the Rams and Vikings, but still, I’m nobody you want on your starting roster, not even in a 2-QB league.

TH: Yeah, I have to say, Rex, I think I’d rather go with someone like Tyler Thigpen or Gus Frerotte over you.

RG: But those guys don’t have a sex cannon for an arm like I do! Do those guys make cheerleaders giggle when they wing it downfield? No way!

TH: I think I like Shaun Hill better than you, too.

RG: What’s the fun in that? That guy can’t even drink an entire bottle of Jager like I can.

TH: Rex, let’s talk about the impact you’ll have on the rest of the guys on the Bears roster. How is that going to affect Matt Forte, Devin Hester and Greg Olsen?

RG: Well, teams are going to stack the line just so they’ll have the chance to watch one of my awesome deep balls hanging in the air, so I don’t think it’ll help Matt too much. As for Hester and Olsen, they might suffer a little bit, but you shouldn’t have been starting them anyways.

TH: How about the defense? See any impact there?

RG: My drives are short and sweet – either it’s a 50-yard bomb for a TD or it’s a fumble on the third play. Urlacher has already started running wind sprints after practice to prepare himself for being on the field for 40 minutes a game.

TH: As Tony Kornheiser would say, “we’ll get you out of here on this.” Rex, how do you feel about the possibility of the NFL extending the regular season?

RG: [Stares, concentrating] You know, as long as the Super Bowl’s before March 17th, I’m fine with it.

TH: Rex, it’s been a pleasure. Thanks so much for taking the time to sit down with us. And thanks for keeping the name of our site vaguely relevant for a little while longer.