You Know Who You Should Sit?

Reggie Bush (RB-NO) Since his Week 4 interview with RexGrossmanIsOurQuarterback.com, Reggie Bush may have fooled you into thinking he’s stepped his game up. But beware! The stats reveal that RGB has only a 2.41 yards per carry average since the interview. Ouch! If he doesn’t run those two kicks back against the Vikings, his stats don’t look nearly as good. If he weren’t a first round pick with good hands, New Orleans would be better served with Neil Patrick Harris lined up behind the fullback. This week, Bush he faces a stingy Panthers defense that will turn his body into an Auntie Anne’s pretzel. The return of Marques Coldstone should result in Bush getting fewer looks in the passing game. At least Kim provides a nice rear end for Reggie to cry on when he gets home.

You Know Who Else You Should Sit?

Philip Rivers (QB-SD) We're taking a chance here, but after an emotional game against the past last week, Rivers has to travel across the country to take on the Bills. West coast teams never do well in 1 p.m. ET games, and the Bills pass defense is a finished product.

Ryan Grant (RB-GB) We've finally found a RB who makes Jamal Lewis look quick. Thirty carries for 90 yards last week against Seattle doesn't spell success. Grant has yet to find the end zone this year; expect that drought to continue this week.

Roy Williams (WR-DAL) He probably won't get all the snaps because he needs to learn offense. Checkdown Johnson will be also handing off a lot.

John Carlson (TE-SEA) After this weekend’s game against the Bucs, the Seahawks will wish they'd pulled a John Madden and skipped the trip.
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You Know Who Should You Start?

Dominic Rhodes (RB-IND) After being banged up numerous times during a hellish touch football season in the Spring of '06, I know more about hamstring injuries than most NFL players and medical staffs. Once you tweak a hamstring, the pain never goes away. Continually trying to play through the injury only makes it worse. Last week, Joseph Addai injured his hammy in practice and couldn't make it past the first play in Ravens game. Enter Dominic Rhodes. Dom Dom has shown in the past that he’s capable backup and this week's game against the Packers couldn't be more appetizing. While he won't be the Lou Gehrig to Addai's Wally Pipp, he will sufficiently tear through the Green Bay defense. After Rhodes pillages Green Bay and ravages its women, he'll sit on his hotel balcony, enjoy a Miller Lite and a brat, and think about a job well done.

You Know Who Else Should You Start?

Matt Schaub & Kevin Walter (QB & WR - HOU) The Texans play the Lions this week. The Lions! Do you know what the Lions are? They're a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Lions are weak. They're feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Lions.

Trent Edwards (QB - BUF) If you were paying attention last week, you saw wide open Patriots receivers running through the San Diego secondary with a QB unable to hit them. You'll see more of that this week when the Chargers take on the Bills, only Edwards is actually capable of getting the ball into his receivers hands.

DeAngelo Williams (RB-CAR) The lighting looks good for the boom-or-bust two-face. No need for the brown bag this week.

Devin Hester (WR-CHI) Having finally discovered the ability to catch on the run, Hester looks mighty fine against that weak Minnesota pass D. It's about time we saw him take back a kick, too.

Antwaan Randle El (WR - WAS) I expect him to put up numbers similar to Steve Smith’s against Cleveland last week. After last week’s loss, look for the ‘Skins to come out firing.
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The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week

I must apologize. In week 6, I made the hands down worst NFL pick in recent memory. Aspects of my reasoning for the pick ranged from marginally stupid ("San Diego has always been soft") to entirely deficient of logic ("Matt Cassel will take another step forward"), and at no point in my argument did I make an intelligent observation or prediction. After Cassel's pitiful four and out inside the San Diego 5 during the 2nd quarter, it became clear to me that I had made statements without actually knowing what I was talking about.

Cassel's performance essentially mandated picking against the Pats for the remainder of the season, and solidified what I suppose we already knew about Tom Brady but were too jealous to admit:: the man is the most valuable resource in this lig. But I'm not here to talk about the Pats, and I especially don't want to waste any more of my life thinking about the wealth destroying infection that is Matt Cassel. Marble Ryan is about to get back on track, but it's going to take a little extra effort.

Maybe it's my shattered ego talking, but the lines this week don't look all that appetizing. It's hard to remember a year in the NFL when the bad teams were as bad as they've been in 2008. Four teams (Oakland, Kansas City, Detroit, and Cincinnati) have a legitimate shot at winning less than 2 games this year in an almost comedic fashion on a week to week basis. Two additional teams (Seattle and St. Louis) are considerably more talented than the Big Four, but they’ve had a run of hard luck that suggests there are forces at work against them more powerful than anything they can conjure themselves. As tempting as it is to pick these six dogs to go down every week, this is the NFL after all. We can't expect teams to be blown off the field every time out even if Vegas does.

Luckily, there's a 7th team in my crosshairs that for some reason appears to be getting the benefit of the doubt from the line makers despite being quite hopeless: The Baltimore Ravens. After somehow starting the season with a couple of ugly wins, the Ravens have rattled off three straight losses in which they've looked progressively worse. Week 6 showed us that the decision to start Joe Flacco is catching up with them. Given two straight weeks of complete offensive ineptitude, it's hard to imagine a scenario where the Ravens score more than 14 points in a game for the rest of the year.

Baltimore is headed to Miami this week. Even though you can still count on the Ravens defense to be studly every season, the Dolphins unique offensive blend of risk aversion and weird trickery seems like a good matchup against the hyper-aggressive, roided-out Ravens. I like Miami come away with a comfy win on the order of 14-6, easily covering the puny 2.5 point spread. It won't be pretty, but if you're getting paid, it aint ugly either.

The pick (home team in caps): MIAMI (-2.5) over Baltimore

Season record: 3-3

Every Friday, Marble Ryan will offer up The Marble Ryan Lock of the Week, an under-the-radar, sure-fire NFL pick backed by his proprietary insight. But be forewarned: we in no way advise you to actually take this pick to your local bookkeeper; in fact, we recommend against it. After all, if you hear a cold metallic tap on your door late at night, we're not going to be there to bail you out. But if you want a peek into the pre-eminent football mind of an entire generation, look no further.
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Ask Mr. T

With Rox Hoover entering rehab and the Lieutenant on probation, Mr. T decided to sit down and answer some of the emails he’s received from readers. Enjoy.

Q: This is a weird question, but here goes nothing. I need a QB to fill in while Romo’s out. Which of the following guys should I drop to free up a roster spot? Greg Camarillo, Antwaan Randle El, Derrick Mason, Chester Taylor or Ricky Williams. Who should I drop?
- Danny Z., New York, NY

Mr.T: I'd waive Camarillo. He's got the least potential of any player on the list. Randle El and Mason bring more consistency and Taylor and Williams both have value as handcuffs.

Q: I've got Warner on the bye this week and the options for me are Collins vs. KC, Edwards vs. SD or Cassel vs. DEN. What's my best bet?
- Pierce M., Tallahassee, FL

Mr.T: It's a risk/reward situation. Given KC's horrid defense, Collins is probably the surest bet for zero turnovers and a TD. He'll probably grab you somewhere between 10-12 points. If you're looking for high reward though, Edwards and Cassel might be better options. San Diego has one of the pass worst defenses in the league and Denver has been know to give up points in bunches. If you had to choose between those two, I'd lean to Edwards because he's not as turnover prone as Cassel.

Q: I'm trying to trade for a WR in my league, so I targeted a team that had Andre Johnson. The owner doesn't want to trade Johnson but has offered up Meachem or Welker. Do I want either of them?
-Jamie M., New York, NY

Mr.T: If you're looking for an elite WR like Andre, then neither Meachem nor Welker is worth your while. Meachem is straight garbage and has gotten lucky on a few deep balls with Colston out. Now that Colston's back, Meachem will find himself back at the homeless shelter. Welker is decent, but his numbers are dramatically affected without Brady throwing to him. He's no more than a WR3.

Q: What's the deal with Santana Moss? He's sucked the last two weeks. I know he can light it up any given week, but is he worth the risk?
- Milan M., Raleigh, NC

Mr.T: Marble Ryan would love Santana Moss because of his explosivity. Like you said, he can light it up on any given week. However, with consistency being his main issue, you have to look at the makeup of your roster. If you have consistent players at the RB and WR positions that can provide you with a solid but unspectacular performances every week, then Moss could be the right fit for you. In that mold, he looks the best as a low-end WR2 or a high-end WR3. Since he's had back-to-back mediocre games, this is actually a good time to trade for him.

Q: With Steve Breaston’s emergence and the impending return of Anquan Boldin, what happens to Fitz going forward? Will he be as dominant as he's been? And if not, what WR would you trade him for?
- Rob M., New York, NY

Mr.T: If you look at Fitzgerald's numbers while Boldin’s been out, you might not be that impressed. Seventeen points and 13 points respectively in standard scoring leagues isn't exactly Flipper Anderson territory. Breaston is nice, but remember how Bryant Johnson was always the hot pickup whenever Fitz or Boldin went down? The same applies here, I see everyone returning to normal value. Fitz will still sit around the #5 spot on my list of WRs, behind Owens, Marshall, Wayne, and Andre 3000. But since their values are all so similar, it's not worth a trade.

Q: Going forward, should I start MJD or Slaton? It's a PPR league.
- Charles C., New York, NY

Mr. T: Honestly, I hate MJD. I always have. He's a straight up two-face. The last three weeks are a perfect example. 49, 30, and 148 are his yardage totals from the last three games. That's just not consistent enough for me out of someone who was being drafted as your RB2. Slaton wasn't great last game, but his total yards of 116, 96, and 61 are a little more consistent. When you add in that he's not in a time-share and MJD's yardage last week was influenced by one of the worst rushing defenses in the league and the absence of Fred Taylor, you got yourself a problem. PPR has no effect here because both guys catch balls. I'd try to deal MJD now if you own him because his value won't be much higher than it is after that last game. But if you have to keep ‘em both, play matchups and lean towards Slaton.
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Fair Deal? Kevin Walter, Marvin Harrison, and Jamal Lewis for Darren McFadden and Lee Evans

Last week, Mr. T and Michael J. Cox agreed to a swap that saw Mr. T give up Kevin Walter, Marvin Harrison, and Jamal “The Human Anvil” Lewis in exchange for Darren McFadden and Lee Evans. The trade stoked the fires of RGIOQB fantasy league, causing a few league members to spend the better part of an afternoon debating its merits over email. Here’s a look at what transpired.

Marble Ryan: Just saw the latest A-Team trade cross the tape, and I think it has to be made official that no one is ever allowed to call me the worst trader in the lig again. The Human Anvil and two guys who belong on waivers for a productive wide receiver and a rookie with upside? Kevin Walter was on waivers last week! How do you trade for a guy that?

Michael J. Cox: I think I should actually take this as a vote of confidence given your track record. Plus, have you seen my bench? I might have been starting Jerry Rice this week without taking on a little depth.

Marble Ryan: Mr. T is conspicuously silent, which I take to mean he believes he ripped you off and doesn't feel like causing trouble over the wires. That's fine ¬¬— his opinion doesn't mean much anyway, because his team is garbage. But going back to the trade, you don't think McFadden has more value than two WR4s and a guy who averages 2.5 yards per carry? You need starters before you build a bench. Wasn't Evans your best WR?

Michael J. Cox: You're talking to a guy who has started Ted Ginn at WR multiple times this year. I needed a shakeup in the worst way. I was heading straight for the cellar if I didn't make some changes. Plus, take a look at McFadden's game-by-game stats when you get a chance. Since I'm the only one regularly starting a Raider, I'm also probably the only one actually watching their games. They split carries three ways out there and the offense isn't pretty to begin with. 75% of D-Mac's fantasy production has come in one half of football. If you think that's an exaggeration, look it up. And I started Ray Rice last week for god's sake! I'd bet I've had more 0s from guys than anyone else in the league. If you feel that strongly about it then veto it.

Marble Ryan: You make several good points, and I had no idea how bad it had gotten for you. The Anvil does have certain value for a particular type of team, that type being one that regularly starts the entire Ravens practice squad. Still can't believe Mr. T hasn't chimed in...he must be having a meeting with Wilpon’s assistant about the groundskeeping budget.

Mr. T: Can't a guy go out and grab lunch? You know I'm never silent. As I sit here and eat my Cosi sandwich, I’ll respond. I'm pretty sure both players don't belong on waivers. Weren't you the guy talking about how the Colts offense was going to take off after the bye week? And have you seen the Texans schedule coming up? Michael J. Cox is willing to trade for Walter for the same reason you traded for Schaub. Just because a guy was on waivers last week doesn't mean he should be this week. Does that mean the Slow Eater should cut Fargas? And that doesn't even get to Lewis, who plays Denver, Houston, Indy, and Cincy in the second half of the season. And we all know he's guaranteed carries and goal line touches.

As for McFadden, obviously he's no Kevin Smith in terms of his upside (ed. Marble Ryan traded DeAngelo Williams for Kevin Smith a few days before Williams’ 3-TD game), but he hasn't exactly lit the world on fire against non-Chiefs opponents: 108 yards in 3 games. Now we know he has the potential to be better than that, or else I wouldn't be trading for him. But the fact of the matter is that he's in a walking boot right now and taking part in a three RB timeshare. And Lee Evans only has 16 catches in his 5 games, so he's not exactly making the Pro Bowl, either. I think you're just jealous because I traded for explosivity and that's what you've been looking for all season long.

The Slow Eater: I was just typing an email about how the trade isn't that one-sided considering the fact that McFadden's is splitting carries with two other guys, but then I got Michael J. Cox’s email which pretty much covered it. McFadden's got more upside then Lewis, but Lewis is guaranteed carries which, considering how few backs are left who don't split carries, has value. And it's not like Lee Evans is a #1 receiver or anything. Either Walter or Harrison could end up with better numbers than him. Considering that neither McFadden nor Evens are close to elite fantasy players, it's not that bad a trade.

Mr. T: I’m glad to see that our fantasy league has at least a few rational people in it. It's the idiots like Marble Ryan working on Wall Street, making judgments on fear, speculation, and explositivity that have the markets in such great flux. This is no worse than what your AD deal was at the time last year, or some other things we've seen. I laughed when you traded Kevin Smith for DeAngelo, but I didn't think it merited an article. (Oh wait, it did… because half our writing staff was on strike last week.)

Michael J. Cox: Yeah, I like Evans but the Buffalo passing game is pretty spotty. He only had 1 catch last week besides the 87 yard TD. Both he and D-Mac are surely going to have explosive days this season but they'll also lay eggs a lot which is something I can't afford given the immense lack of consistency elsewhere on my squad.

Marble Ryan: I just know as a former Jamal Lewis owner that there are few things in fantasy football more frustrating that watching the Anvil barrel head first into the line 13 times for 25 yards on your Sunday afternoon. I think Losman actually really opens things up for Evans. Anyone remember that game where he had like 200 yards and 3 TDs in a half? We'll see about McFadden, but I could see Tom the Cable Guy consolidating that running situation out there. My second assessment of the trade is less severe, but Harrison and Lewis are both dog shit.

Mr. T: It’s just like Marble’s second assessment in basically every quality of life. If you had listened to Marble, Cousin Bowser would be eating by himself at the Bait Shack every Monday night instead of teaching Black Irish the dynamics of a good spit ball. And Edwards is still the QB in Buffalo. He's got the bye week and the effects of his concussion will have subsided by Week 7.

Marble Ryan: You know the drill with concussions — after that first one, your career is officially on the clock.

Michael J. Cox: I also actually do believe that the Colts will start playing football in the 2nd half and I'll see some decent production from Marvin. This isn't such an absurd concept. The Colts have made the playoffs 10 out of the last 13 years after all, and he has a QB throwing to him whose last name isn't Edwards, Losman, Huard, Thigpen, Frerotte, or Pennington like the rest of my guys. And Losman completed 1 pass to Evans after that 87-yard bomb all while they were busy getting blown out by the Cardinals. That doesn't bode well in my book.
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Week 7 Podcast: “Who is this, Red Grange?”

Mr. T makes his podcast debut with host Torry Hallelujah to discuss what’s going on with the Cowboys, a crazy finish to Marble Ryan’s game against Black Irish, and whom to look for on waivers this week.

Donwload the Podcast



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The Romo Injury: Who can help you?

Another week goes by in the NFL and another starting QB bites the dust. This time it's Tony Romo, most likely a 2nd or 3rd round pick in your fantasy draft. If you drafted Romo, you watched eagerly with Jessica Simpson as he threw for over 300 yards in four of his first six games. Now you sit stunned in front of your computer, dissecting the waiver wire because Tough Tony is out the next four weeks and you don't have a backup QB. Mr. T helped you deal with the Brady injury after week 1 and he's here to save your ass again. Having Romo in three of my six leagues, I've already done damage control. Since it's a four week injury, there's probably no need to make a trade. Here's a breakdown of some options that are probably sitting on your league's free agent list as we speak.

Kerry Collins (QB-TEN) After sharing a few shots of Jack at the bar with Kerry over his bye week, I was convinced he's the man I'm hitching my wagon to with a couple of my Romo infused squads. His game this upcoming Sunday with Kansas City is enough to wet my appetite. After that he's got Indy, Green Bay, and Chicago, teams that have given up reasonable #s to fantasy QBs so far. With Justin Gage likely back and an offense that should spend a lot of time near the red zone this weekend, Collins seems the best choice to me.

Jeff Garcia (QB-TB) Cha-Cha-Chia Garcia wouldn't be a bad option for you right now. Inserted back in the starting lineup after Brian Griese hurt his elbow giving himself "the stranger," Garcia led the Bucs to victory this past weekend. His schedule is reasonably friendly with games against Seattle, Dallas, and Kansas City in the coming weeks. He won't wow you, but sometimes all you need is that consistent 10 points a week.

Matt Ryan (QB-ATL) It's usually tough to put your fantasy football faith in the hands of a rookie QB, but this isn’t a bad option. Ryan’s on the rag this week, so he probably shouldn't be your first choice, but he should be considered for the back end of the Romo injury. Matty Ice faces Oakland, New Orleans, and Denver in weeks 9-11. If you're feeling frisky, find another two week starter and then fly with the former BC Eagle after that.

Chad Pennington (QB-MIA) I'm not sure how many leagues Chad is available in at this point. While he has a weaker throwing arm than Torry Hallelujah, he has still managed to find the end zone in the last two games. He's got home games in three of his next four games with a couple of decent matchups. You could do a lot worse.

Brad Johnson (QB-DAL) He'd be the obvious choice as he's taking over for Romo in Big D. He'll face the juicy situation against St. Louis this week, but then the Bucs and Giants should suppress his #s. There are probably better options out there for you than the weak armed geriatric game manager. Fantasy football is not like a Flomax commercial...

J.T. O'Sullivan (QB-SF) The truth is some people are giving up on one of Mr. T's guys, as I've seen him dropped in a few of my leagues. The QB named after your favorite Irish pub won't receive a ringing endorsement from me as a Romo replacement because his next four weeks include a bye and matchups @ the Giants and @ Arizona. The real beauty with JT is his playoff schedule, but that shouldn't be your concern if you have Romo. He won't kill you, but it's not last call. You'll most likely find better.

Joe Flacco (QB-BAL), Ryan Fitzpatrick (QB-CIN), and Charlie Frye & Seneca Wallace (QB-SEA) Avoid at all costs...
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Scout’s Take: In which we discuss a female gambling savant, Al Michaels’ constant allusions to the spread, Tony Romo’s broken pinky and Jay Cutler

Each week, our scouts gather together to share their observations on the most noteworthy Sunday performances. Unfortunately, after heavily investing in an MLS franchise, we had to can them all. In their place are Black Irish, Bruno, Lafayette Gold, Marble Ryan, Michael J. Cox, Mr. T, The Slow Eater, Steve Stevens, and Torry Hallelujah, who let us know what they took away from the Week 5 action.

Lafayette Gold: I’m not dead yet, bro... If Eli connects with Toomer for a couple of TDs tonight, I am back in biz. It’s definitely possible. Also, I can't believe the Bucs vs. Panthers defense is the difference here in my game with Torry. 21-0…ouch!

Mr. T: Dude, your chances of making this comeback are probably around 10-15%. News of the day is that Hasselbeck might not be back anytime soon. Apparently he needs more exams on his knee.

Lafayette Gold: Charlie Frye for MVP!

Mr. T: Good thing Berman picked the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl. I guess they're not a fan of leather. It seems like Seneca Wallace would get the nod next week if he's healthy. It's still kinda amazing how bad some of the back-up QBs are in this league. The funny part is that even if Julius Jones takes a fantasy downgrade because the Seattle passing game sucks, it doesn't look that bad off for that trade Steve Stevens and Bruno made last week. (ed. Steve Stevens traded Randy Moss to Bruno for Julius Jones before Week 6) Moss may never catch for 100 yards again this year with the way Cassel looked last night. I say we fully elect the Blondie’s hostess to pick the Marble Ryan Lock of the Week. Not only did she say to take the Chargers, but she liked the under too. Without the parlay, Marble would be down three times the vig through 6 weeks.

Michael J. Cox: That hostess knew way way too much about gambling for me. It was almost uncomfortable. Anytime a girl can give you 5+ spreads and 5+ over/unders off the top of her head there's a problem. I’ve never met a girl like that outside of the Las Vegas city limits. That conversation was almost surreal.

Mr. T: Most girls I know don't touch gambling and the few that do are more about poker or blackjack. I've never seen anything like it.

Torry Hallelujah: And the thing is, she has the right blend of knowledge and total stupidity to make her an incredible gambler. I have no doubt that she could out-pick everyone at our table.

Marble Ryan: My record’s not terrific, but having more correct picks than duds should let me keep my job. I don't want to rely on the hostess mostly because I really didn't enjoy talking to her yesterday. She's a strange person. Last night, I simply underestimated how bad Matt Cassel is, which is the same mistake made by the entire Pats front office, putting me in pretty good company, I’d say. I can't recall ever seeing Tom Brady go four and out at the goal line, even in his first year...his value has really been solidified this season.

Torry Hallelujah: Did you guys hear Al Michaels calling the last play of the game? Pats were down by a ton but called a timeout so they could throw into the end zone from the Chargers 15 or 20 yard line. “A certain portion of our audience is very interested in the outcome of this play.” And then, after the pass fell incomplete: “Well, it’s over...in one sense, but not the other.”

Mr. T: Yeah, I definitely heard that. I made a point of IMing someone to point it out. I knew the over was on the line. Me vs. the waitress...and she won...How about the 3 best QBs through 6 weeks...Rodgers, Rivers, And Brees. We definitely didn't see that coming? RBs go Portis, Bush, and Gore. Bush is on pace for those 20 TDs, but the guy can't run the ball for shit. 3.1 yards a carry? WTF IS THAT?!?

Michael J. Cox: By the way, Gmail just associated an ad for this site with our conversation. This probably isn't a good thing: http://www.dorseylevensreport.com

Mr. T: Breaking news: Romo’s out four weeks with a broken pinky. This has such a crazy fantasy impact. Everyone is downgraded. TO can't go long because Johnson doesn't have the arm. Witten was Romo's favorite target. Barber and Jones probably see less running room. And I've got Romo in 3 of 6 leagues. I have to decide between the likes of Kerry Collins, Gus Ferotte, and Matt Ryan going forward if I don't wanna deal with Johnson. Yikes!

Bruno: Anyone want to trade for him? I’m done – looks like Jamarcus Russell better step it up.

Michael J. Cox: What are the odds of a major TO & Brad Johnson dust up? Are they even taking those bets in Vegas?

Mr. T: Check out this from Rotoworld.com: Jay Cutler told The Sporting News that he has "a stronger arm than John (Elway), hands down. I'll bet on it against anybody's in the league," he said. "Brett Favre's got a cannon. But on game days, there's nobody in the league who's going to throw it harder than I am." Cutler also called Denver the favorite to win the AFC.

Steve Stevens: Is that the kind of cockiness you like or dislike from your QB?

Mr. T: Doesn't it remind you of this? http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2006/11/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield.html

The Slow Eater: Also, I think Cutler is getting a little insecure about now being considered the #2 QB in the Chefs organization and felt the need to overcompensate by making that statement. Nonetheless, we encourage vocal confidence among our players, provided that they back it up on the field, and don't talk lots of shit and then go out and suck, or, as it's known in the Chefs locker room "pulling a Chad Johnson."

Mr. T: Since I always break the news: Dungy just admitted Manning had a second surgery on his knee in the offseason.

Michael J. Cox: Interesting. I remember before their first game they zoomed in on his knee during warm-ups and I thought it looked like the scar was a little big for a bursa sac surgery. This would make sense.

Mr. T: Little big for a bursa sac surgery? You been interning with Dr. James Andrews? And I got heckled for making hamstring comments a few weeks ago?? You're the guy that refuses to have surgery on a knee that has at least one torn ligament in there.

Michael J. Cox: Easy pal. Thanks to the geniuses who design majors at UF, I had to take numerous AT & medical science courses as part of my core track of courses, so this is actually something I have experience with. For one course we watched upwards of 20 knee surgery videos and then had to identify them for the final based on a short summary clip and before/after photos. In other words, when Dr. James Andrews retires I'll be taking over his practice.

Marble Ryan: Whatever, he's cured. Now it's time to go after Brady's record. Peyton is angry, my friends!

Mr. T: Like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli…

Black Irish: This is entirely unrelated, but I'd just like to point out that David Akers gave me more point production than AD and Wes Welker combined this week. Oy. I'm bracing myself for comments from Mr. T re: the Harrison/Anvil trade. (Ed. Mr. T traded Jamal Lewis, Marvin Harrison, and Kevin Walter to Michael J. Cox for Lee Evans and Darren McFadden before Week 6 in a widely debated deal.)

Mr. T: This is the only quote I need:

MichaelJCox: If I somehow make the playoffs it could be directly tied to this trade. I would definitely have lost this week.

Michael J. Cox: Yeah, and if Jamal somehow manages to win me the $20 tonight I think you can officially close the book on the bad trade argument. A much needed W plus a weekly winner? That = results....
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Great Debates in Fantasy Football: If you’re up by one on Monday night, should you bench your defense?

In the RexGrossmanIsOurQuarterback.com fantasy league this week, Marble Ryan holds a one point lead, 94-93, over Black Irish going into Monday night’s contest between the Giants and the Browns. While Black Irish doesn’t have any players in this game on his team, Marble Ryan has the Giants defense.

If Marble Ryan were to bench the Giants defense, he’d guarantee himself a victory (barring a scoring adjustment). While starting the Giants defense could add to his point total – which would come in handy should he tie for a playoff spot – it’s possible they could also score negative fantasy points, giving him a loss for the week. Given all of this, we decided to ask our league members whether or not Marble should start or bench the Giants D tonight.

Note: In the RGIOQB fantasy league, a defense scores -1 points by giving up 28-34 points and -4 points if they give up 35+ points. These tallies are offset by any sacks, turnovers, or touchdowns the defense generates during the game.

Marble Ryan: I might bench them, just to lock it in, although I'm not sure. I think they’re a lock for at least one sack, but both the Browns and the Giants are due for an adjustment toward the mean.

Torry Hallelujah: I was thinking about this myself, and you have to play the defense. The final playoff spot is almost always decided by a tiebreaker, so you can't leave points on the table. Also, the nightmare scenario is benching your defense, then moving into a tie/loss as a result of a mid-week scoring adjustment. Unlikely, but worth considering. And pragmatically, the Giants pass rush is so strong that even if they give up a –4 on points, they're likely to at least have a few sacks and a turnover to make up for that.

Steve Stevens: Start ‘em. It's the Browns for fuck’s sake.

The Slow Eater: I know I'm a little late jumping in this conversation, but if I'm Marble, I sit my defense tonight. You worry about winning the game first, point totals later. Then again, I am the guy who sat Tomlinson and his 2 TDs for Michael Bush a couple weeks ago because Tomlinson was listed as questionable, so it's possible I play an overly conservative game. Of course the odds are heavily in favor of the Giants D putting up positive points, but I think you have to look at the potential damage of them costing Marble this game vs. the potential good having a few extra points could do him in a tiebreaker situation. I don't think potentially getting 5-10 points is worth the risk.

Mr. T: I'd probably play the Giants defense if it were me. With Winslow out, you figure the Browns offense won't be that great. They're also missing one of their tackles. Tuck should have at least two sacks against Ryan Tucker. I know Herm said you play to win the games, but when are you ever gonna take Herm's word for it. Mr. T says you play the odds. The odds are in Marble’s favor if he plays the Giants D. The chance of Cleveland scoring all those points without any sacks or turnovers is probably 5%. You're gonna be kicking yourself when you watch Aaron Ross running back a T.A.I.N.T. in the 3rd quarter. If it’s a QB like Rex Grossman then I’d bench him. Not the best defense in football against the 32nd rated offense. I'll add that Karma is on Marble’s side. His girlfriend just spent a weekend in Vegas. If anything, he's due for something in return...

Michael J. Cox: I think you have to play the Giants D tonight. Just think about it this way. If you walked into Caesars and put money on a prop that said the Giants defense would give up 35+ points, have less than <2 sacks & <1 turnover. You'd probably be looking at 10/1 odds on it (Browns are +300 on the ML, so figure give it something just north of a 3x multiplier for the special requirements). On the other hand, I would put the odds of you being in a tiebreaker situation where points are a factor at more like 5/1. I think it's a no brainer.
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Okay, Thomas Jones, So Maybe You're a Little Better Than I Thought

Two touchdowns last year. One touchdown through the first five weeks this season.

Last Thursday, I finally decided to cut bait with Thomas Jones, the plodding Jets rusher, trading him away for Chris Perry and some throw-ins, thinking that the young Bengal would bring some much needed explosivity to my roster.

I’d had enough. Can you blame me? Nobody wants a 30-year-old RB who doesn’t score and who seemingly never breaks a run longer than 10 yards. I mean, even his name is pedestrian. “Thomas Jones” sounds like a guy who made his living driving spikes into the tracks of the Transcontinental Railroad.

I tried referring to him as “Tom” for the first few weeks of the season, hoping that this would make him a little sexier in my eyes, and perhaps the eyes of the schlubs in my league whom I could potentially pawn him off on. It didn’t work. After only netting 65 total yards and failing the score in a game in which his team hung 56 points on the Cards, I figured it was over for poor old Thomas.

But yesterday? Ol’ TJ reached the end zone three times against the Bengals, racking up 25 fantasy points. When I saw the stat line come across the ticker, I figured that it was the wrong Jones. Surely, of all the league’s Joneses, only Felix or Julius or even Jacoby could be responsible for such fantasy decadence.

Alas, Stat Tracker confirmed: it was Thomas.

On the bright side, Chris Perry had 11 carries for 14 yards.

I’m doing my best to take all of this as a personal lesson. You shouldn’t lust after the speedy, younger RBs just in the same way you shouldn’t buy a fast car that’s likely to break down or fall in love with a girl you know is going to go home with some dude at the bar the first weekend you go out of town. In fact, I’d almost be willing to change everything about the way I live my life because of my experience if not for one thing.

Thomas Jones sucks. I’m sure of it.

Get ready for 13 carries for 53 yards next week. You suck, asshole!

- Eric C., Lincoln, NE

Who Else Do the People Hate?

Fuck you Joseph Addai! I mean seriously...Fuck You and the Colts Medical staff. You hurt your little hamstring in practice this week and it doesn't get reported? Then after one carry, your bitch ass sits on the sideline cause you're hurt? I had Thomas Jones on my bench and would've played him had I known you were a little baby. I lost by 3 points...3 points!

- Jamie M. New York, NY

I wanna take a hit out on The Patriots and Sammy Morris. When you're facing a fantasy team with Sproles and Morris and up 3 points with 7 minutes to play, you're not feeling too bad. Then because Matt Cassel can't hit open receivers, Morris snakes a garbage time score to send me to 2-4. You couldn't have fucked over fantasy owners with that Kevin Faulk bullshit this week? And I just lost Romo for 4 weeks! I'm fucked!

- Alex M. New York, NY
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